“Well, that’s what your guy says,” I mumbled. “But, no.” I straightened up, scooching myself so I faced Caleb. “My magic would be bound anyway because of—”
“The glamour?”
“Yeah! Wait, he told you about that, too?”
“He spent a long time talking with me, especially when you take into account that he’d need to wait for when I was closer to the surface. I don’t know how, but he always knew when I was able to listen.”
“Okay,” I said, stretching the word out. “And exactly what did he have to say about all of that?”
Caleb took a deep breath, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked around us. “I’ll try to keep it concise. Basically, changeling glamours bind magic differently than the regular glamours that the queen imposes on her subjects when she dies.”
I nodded, already knowing about the protective magic aspect.
“Basically,” he continued, “in a life-threatening situation, magical or non-magical, the binding on the magic is—”
“Broken. Yes, I know,” I said.
Caleb gave me a testy look. “Then let’s connect the dots, okay? Have you had any, oh, I don’t know, life-threatening situations come up in the past month?”
“Don’t get snippy,” I said. “And yeah, I’m following. You think that when Dad did his thing—”
“You almost died and your magic broke, saved you, and then you used it to save me, too.”
“Huh. I guess that makes sense.”
Caleb nodded. “Now, we don’t have a lot of time, so let’s move on to the investiture.”
“He told—”
“Yes. Let’s just accept the fact that he told me everything so we can get this conversation done faster, okay?”
“Snippy,” I muttered.
“Okay, then,” he said, taking that for consent. “The investiture isn’t what you think. You need to have your full power available to get through it and remain sane.”
Goldilocks’ voice echoed in my mind. You really think that after the investiture there will be anything left of you?
“Okay. So the investiture is no longer an option. Got it.”
“Like they’d let you opt out.”
I shrugged. “I wasn’t going to ask.”
“You’re going to run?”
I shrugged again. “Seems like a good idea. The fae will stay trapped in glamours, I stay sane…win-win. And since I already have magic, it’s not like I need the investiture anymore. The only reason I was going to do it was to gain enough magic to heal you.”
“Kella, you realize if you run, the fae won’t stop looking for you, right?” Caleb grabbed my arm, waiting until I looked into his eyes. “They’re going to find you. It’s just a matter of time. And when they do, they won’t worry about pretending to be on your side. Your best chance is to do the investiture now, on your terms.”
“But you just said my power is what’s keeping you alive. If I do the investiture, then…”
I trailed off, waiting for Caleb to fill in the gaps—to explain how this was all going to work out. But he only sat there, looking at me expectantly.
Oh, heck no. “Well, if you’re trying to tell me I need to take my magic back, I can’t because I don’t know how. And even if I did, I wouldn’t because, again, it’s keeping you alive.”
“It’s not keeping me alive. It’s keeping me trapped. I’m stuck between listening to my surroundings and getting lost in dreams. The only real human interaction I get is when you pull me into your subconscious, and that’s only happened three times. I’m not alive—not really.”
“But this is only temporary. Once I get to the hospital—”
He huffed out a breath. “Do you even know how to heal me?”
“Well, I did it before,” I said testily. “I’ll figure it out again.”
“That was an accident. Your magic had just broken and was guided into healing-mode because of your glamour’s residual protective magic. You were accidentally able to transfer that healing over to me. But now? Without being trained, you can’t do much more than keep that magic in me as a sort of magical life support.”
“How would you know?”
“Because an elf told me, that’s how.”
“Fine. Then I’ll just do the stupid investiture. That way I’ll have all the knowledge and power I need to heal you.”
“No, you won’t, because then you won’t be you then if you don’t take back your powers before you go through it.”
“Which I can’t do because it’ll kill you,” I said, throwing my hands up in the air.
I took in a breath. “So. Any brilliant ways out of this mess?”
He sighed. “Just a mediocre one. Let me go.”
I kept looking at him. The wheels in my head must have gotten stuck because I totally wasn’t following.
“As in let me die,” Caleb said.
Click. There they were, working again.
But before I could protest, Caleb rushed on.
“I’m going to die anyway, no matter how this all plays out. You already know that. Just let me die knowing you’re okay—that you have a chance at beating this investiture thing.”
I shook my head. “You’re not going to die. We just have to…think of something else,” I ended lamely.
Caleb gave me a small smile. I clenched my fists, already knowing I wouldn’t like the next words out of his mouth. “This isn’t much of a life. If it helps, it’s not that far of a stretch to think of me as pretty much dead already,” Caleb said, the words sounding more like an apology than an argument.
“But you’re not dead!” I shouted. “And listening to some guy telling you you’re gonna die? Well, screw him. Think of teddy bears or unicorns or…I don’t know, maybe those algorithm things you like so much. But stop thinking about dying.”
“Kella, you can’t win this one.” Caleb raked his fingers through is hair like he wanted to tear it out. “You have to let go of me, and soon. Do the investiture on your terms—at least let one of us have a fighting chance. Kella—” he said, putting his hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged him away.
“Hey,” he said, reaching under my chin, gently tugging it
