“I...don’t want to talk about that,” I interrupted her. “I don’t want you to think about melike that.” For a brief moment, I felt a twinge of relief that our mental connection had broken. That darkness was with me, even back then. I didn’t know.
“Lux, I’m…” she trailed off before sighing softly. “Alright,” she agreed eventually, pulling herself up to kiss my cheek, “we don’t have to talk about it right now.”
“Thank you.” I kissed the top of her head, then slid to the edge of the bed and surveyed our room. The floor around our bed was scattered with various pieces of our armor, still lying where we had dropped them when we returned home. After Miles and Lyn had reached their room at the inn, we had sprinted the remaining distance between Lienna and Mayaan over the following few hours, staying well away from main roads and foot traffic to avoid making a scene with our abundantly enhanced speed. We reached Mayaan before noon and avoided both Elise’s office and Lia’s parents house, instead choosing to return directly to our home to sleep away the previous night's events.
“There is something we do need to talk about, though,” she continued, sitting cross-legged in the center of our bed.
I halted the search for my pants and turned to her with a raised eyebrow. “Oh?” The hard line of her jaw and brow sparked my anxiety as I waited for her response.
“You said we had to go back to Kaldan,” she said quietly. “Why?”
“Val warned us that there were monsters in Kaldan,” I answered. “I ignored her, and our friends paid the price. We have to go stop whatever is happening in Shadowmine.”
“No, we don’t,” Lia countered. “We have no way to prove that thing came from Kaldan. It could just as easily have come from somewhere here in Lybesa.”
I shook my head. “I don’t buy that. There’s no way it could be thatbig of a coincidence.”
“That’s just it!” she exclaimed, leaning forward with sudden passion. “Everything that’s happened since I met you has been that big of a coincidence! The Strategist’s men looking exactly like the Thralls you fought before? Getting captured by Virram exactly when he needed someone to go to Attetsia? Primes, even the way we met was a coincidence! I just so happened to be sent to the cell opposite yours in the dungeon; a cell you were only in because you just so happened to talk to that one thief girl!”
Each of her points grew more emphatic than the last, and a pit opened in my stomach as I realized how upset she truly was. “That’s not coincidence. That’s the stuff that follows me around, no matter what life I’m in. I don’t know why, but that’s my fate.”
“I don’t think it is, Lux,” she said in a gentler tone, wringing her hands in front of her as she stood up. “I think you’re putting yourself in those situations because you feel guilty for what happened in Hedaat. You’re punishing yourself for what happened to Alda.” She offered out her hand as she took a step forward. “You don’t have to throw away the life you have now to make up for what happened before.”
I took a step back defensively. “I’m not… You’re wrong.” I shook my head as I tried to fight through the sudden rush of memories she had invoked. “Lia, I swear to you, there is nothing I want more in this life than to live it here with you, but—”
“Then do it!” She leapt across the room and took both of my hands in hers. “If you really want to stay here with me, then stay here with me.” Her eyes bounced back and forth as she watched my face intently.
My mouth opened to respond, but I couldn’t find a single word in my defense. All of my primal reactions fought for dominance in my mind simultaneously: run away, double down and fight, crumple up into a ball and cry, kiss her to prove my love. The mental fight was exhausting, but Lia gave me the time I needed to see it through to the end. “You’re right,” I said eventually, turning away to hide from her intense gaze. “I’m sorry. My head is just..soup, right now; I can’t think straight. There’s too much up there for me to figure out on my own.”
Her hand cupped my cheek as she turned my head back to face her, and she pulled me forward for a kiss. I felt her lips curl into a faint smile, and she tipped her face forward to rest her forehead against mine. “I’ve told you this before, and I’ll keep telling you until you finally listen: you’re not alone anymore. We can get through it together.”
I felt my stomach churn as flashes of my rampage in the Attetsian plaza came unbidden to the forefront of my mind. “I can’t put all of that on you, Lia. Not—”
“Stop it,” she insisted, poking my bare chest with her finger. “I’m not some weak little girl you have to protect anymore, okay? I can handle it. We can handle it. Together.”
“You’re right,” I murmured. I took a long, deep breath in through my nose, finding comfort in the faint mint aroma of her hair. “You’re right,” I repeated, taking a step away from her and patting myself lightly on my cheeks. I leaned back and forth on the balls of my feet as I breathed out the last of my anxieties. “I love you, Lia.”
“I love you, too,” she said, wrapping me in a tight hug.
I basked in her warmth for a moment, then gave her a soft pat on the back. “We can talk more about this later, but there are some other people we need to talk to first.” I returned to my forgotten task of getting dressed, finally finding my pants hidden beneath my breastplate. “You should tell Marin and your parents about
