He bites his lower lip as if he is forcing himself not to answer. His silence infuriates me.
“Substance abuse?” I ask him. “You think I have a substance abuse issue?”
“Allie, a whole bottle of wine every night—it’s not ideal. We can agree on that, right?”
“It’s not every night. I’m under a lot of stress, in case you hadn’t noticed.”
He exhales a deep breath. “I didn’t want to tell you this, but the other day Cole came home with this worksheet from school. Mommy’s favorite this, Daddy’s favorite that. Your favorite food? He wrote down wine.”
“I didn’t know that.” A burning sensation tingles at the edges of my scalp. I wonder if the teacher saw it, too.
“I knew you wouldn’t like this idea—”
“Well, you’re right.” The words fly out of my mouth like bullets.
“I’m at a loss. I feel like I’m watching you disintegrate in slow motion.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way.” My tone is icy.
“I am, too. But now it involves Cole. So I have to step in.”
“I see.”
“I actually think marriage counseling might help, but Caitlin says that marriage counselors will not see couples where alcohol is a factor. They insist the alcohol issue must be treated first.”
“Caitlin said that, huh?”
“Caitlin says this place is one of the best. Very upscale, very discreet. They have a seven-day program and a fourteen-day program.”
“Fuck Caitlin.”
His head jerks back. “My sister is not the problem here.”
“I’m the problem, is that it?”
“No, you’re not a problem.” He reaches out and squeezes my hand. “But if you can’t see that things have gotten out of control, I don’t know what to say. You’re a suspect in a murder investigation, Allie. And I want to believe you, I do. I want to be on your side, but then you do things that I just don’t understand. You need help. This family needs help.”
“You want to help?” I am practically shouting, but I can’t help it. “Find out who launched an online campaign to destroy my life!” I pull my hand out from under his. “Do you have any idea how frustrating it is that you don’t believe me?” In my rearview mirror, I see a white police car pull up behind us, and my heart begins to pound. I know it’s only a traffic cop, but Artie Zucker’s warning about being prepared to be arrested rings in my ears. “You should go.”
“This isn’t about believing you, Allie.”
“Who were you talking to on the phone last night?”
“What?” He jerks his head back. “No one.”
“Bullshit. I heard you, Mark. Around midnight. You were on the phone.”
“Oh, that. That was Caitlin. She wanted to talk about Thanksgiving.”
“You were talking about me. You said something about a car following me? About how I recognized it?”
He blinks at me, expressionless. “You’re being paranoid, Allie.”
“Can I see your phone? Your work phone?”
“Excuse me?”
I hold out my hand. “Can I see your work phone? I want to see that it was Caitlin.”
Mark lets out a low whistle. “I’d better go. That cop is headed here.” He opens the door and extends his long legs, but before he climbs out, he looks back at me. “Think about making an appointment, Allie.”
I watch as he disappears down the escalator into the metro and then put the car in drive just as the traffic cop is almost to my car.
My guts twist all the way home with the knowledge that Mark has betrayed me. He’s been talking with Caitlin behind my back, plotting. What was it she said in the bathroom at the restaurant last week? When you and Mark get divorced.
The question hovers in my mind: How long have they been cooking this up?
Stop.
I tell myself to stop, remind myself that this is Mark, that yes, even though we’re going through a horrible time, he loves me.
But what about that phone call last night?
My head hurts from trying to sort it all out. Back at home, I put the kettle on in the kitchen and give the brochure Mark gave me a closer look.
What to expect on your first day. You will meet with a counselor during intake and be given a complete examination to assess your physical wellness.
You will then be screened to determine if there are drugs or alcohol in your system. If you test positive for drugs or alcohol, you will be taken to detox, which usually lasts three to ten days. If no substances are found in your system, you will go straight to the rehabilitation center.
Think about making an appointment, Allie.
His plea could be coming from the heart, out of love and concern. Or it could be something darker. I cannot overlook that Caitlin’s specialty is getting full custody for fathers.
The kettle shrieks, and I pour hot water into a mug. I pick up the phone and put it back down. A part of me is willing to make the bargain—an appointment at the treatment center in exchange for preserving my marriage and family.
But what would I say once I arrived at Bridgeways? That my husband thinks I have a drinking problem, but I don’t? That the police think I’ve killed my neighbor? That somebody is out to get me and no one believes me? It sounds crazy. They’d lock me up.
I saw a documentary once about a man who was wrongly convicted of rape. Every time he’d come up for parole, he couldn’t bring himself to apologize for something he had not done. Just show remorse to the parole board, his lawyer would tell him every year, and you’ll be released.
But he couldn’t do it.
Could I show remorse for something I hadn’t done? God knows I’m not a perfect mother. I forgot Blue Day. I can’t bake to save my life. But I’m not the person Mark has painted me out to be.
I pick up my cell phone and see the voice mail notification from earlier. I don’t recognize the number and hit Play.
“Ms. Ross? Detective Khoury here from the Montgomery County Police Department. I have
