She was quiet for a few minutes. I drove slowly, winding my way past the Philly row homes, out of the city and into a sleepier, quieter suburban setting. Big, leafy trees cast flickering shadows on the dash. I had a sudden image in my head—little kids running around my house, laughing in the pool, climbing trees, but not to hide. I wanted laughter, I wanted happiness. I wanted a family that wasn’t fucking terrified of me, because I didn’t force them to learn how to be killers at a young age.
And Mags there through it all, my wife and my best friend.
“I’ve been thinking about it,” she said. “For a while now. Since before yesterday.”
“Yeah? And what do you think?”
“I want to stay,” she said, and looked at me.
I slowed down and pulled over at the curb across from a park. Kids swung on swings and ran along the slide. Moms and nannies and some dads lingered on the periphery, talking to each other, watching the kids.
“I want that too,” I said. “I love you, Mags. I think I’ve loved you for a while now.”
She leaned forward and kissed me. She nearly climbed across the car and into my lap. I held her there, my body ringing with her, with the need of her and the taste of her.
“I love you too,” she whispered, blinking away tears. “Is that insane? Are we making some horrible mistake?”
“Not at all,” I said, wiping her cheek gently. “This is what we need, me and you.”
“What’ll happen now?” she asked.
“We’re already married,” I said. “So I expect we’ll stay married.”
“We’ll have to sleep in the same room,” she said, and grinned a little. “I want to redecorate.”
“God, I wish you would,” I said and laughed. “Look at you, already thinking about your future.”
“I guess so,” she said and leaned her head back. “I haven’t thought further than a couple weeks in such a long time. It feels almost weird, you know?”
“I do know,” I said softly and put my hand on her knee. “I promise you’re okay now. Dream as much as you want.”
She laughed and leaned her head against my shoulder. “You’re one weird mafia Don, you know that, right?”
“A man can have more than one side of him,” I said softly. “There’s the man that wants to cut the throats of my enemies, and the man that wants to love you. I’m both those things and more.” I tilted her chin toward me and kissed her.
“And which if those men are going to take me home and drag me into his bed?” she whispered, grinning.
“All of them,” I said. “As many times as you want.”
“Perfect.” She touched my cheek gingerly, then sat back in her seat. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”
I put the car in drive and pulled out into traffic. I drove my wife back to our house, back to our home. It was all so new, and the heady rush of it still lingered on my skin, but this was right. This was what I needed.
And now finally, it felt as if my life were snapping into place, falling together with one great crash.
I’d lead my family. I’d keep my wife.
And I’d kill my enemies.
A man couldn’t ask for more.
22
Mags
Two Years Later
Sunlight reflected off the pool. I stretched my legs with a sigh and my feet slipped out from the shade of the big umbrella for a moment. The sun felt good on my bare skin.
“You look comfortable,” Ash said, grinning at me.
I smiled back at her and put one hand on my big, swollen belly. “I’m never comfortable, unfortunately,” I said. “Seven months pregnant and I’m ready to be done.”
“You’ve got a little more cooking to do.” She laughed and put her arms up above her head.
“Should I be scared?” I asked her. “Of giving birth, I mean. I haven’t really thought about it, if I’m being honest. Which is crazy, right?”
“It’s not crazy,” she said. “I mean, I obsessed about it, but still. Everyone’s different.”
“I’m just worried for the baby,” I said.
“You’ll be totally fine,” she said. “Dean’s paying for the best doctors, right?”
“I know,” I said, shaking my head and smiling despite my anxiety. “It’s just becoming real, you know?”
She rolled slightly toward me and sat up on an elbow. Her hair fell down around her face and she put a hand on mine. “I promise, you’ll be okay. I’m here for you, right?”
“Right,” I said. “Ditto.”
“Now come on, we have some relaxing to do.” She sighed and shifted onto her back again.
I grinned a little and watched the inflatable gorilla glide along the water. I didn’t know what I would do without Ash. There weren’t many women I was close with, especially any women around the mafia, and very few of them completely understood what it was like to be married to a man like Dean.
Every day was heaven.
But I worried. The war was over, but that didn’t mean Dean was safe. He was the Don of the Valentino family, which meant he’d always have a target right between his eyes. I was afraid for him, and being super pregnant didn’t exactly make that any easier.
At least I had Ash and Bea. They understood and were patient with my semi-regular freak-outs.
“Well, look at that,” Ash said, shading her eyes. “Seems like your man’s home.”
I sat up and spotted Dean coming toward us. I felt a little flutter in my chest like I always did, and climbed to my feet with some embarrassing difficulty. Ash winked at me as I went to greet my husband.
He kissed me then kissed my belly. “You look amazing,” he said.
“You tell me that every day,” I said. “At some point it’ll lose its meaning.”
“Has it yet?”
I hesitated, considering. “Not yet,” I said. “So keep it up.”
He laughed and kissed me. “How are you ladies doing?”
“We’re good. Lounging. Relaxing.
