The feeling only intensifies when I see friends and family linger, making themselves comfortable and admiring the photographs from over the years and the hard work put in to bring me where I am. Having my brother here has reminded me how badly I want to fill the space, how much I enjoy having people here, but I’ll never admit that to him. Not when he wants his own space that I hope he experiences the same feeling in. “You know I like having you around, but if this is what you want to do then I’ll support you no matter what.”
Chase is quiet as he glances down at his folded hands, and I wonder if there’s something else on his mind. But if he wants me to know, he’ll tell me in his own time. “Thanks, G.”
I drum my fingers against the edge of the counter. “Want to play something on the Xbox?”
His eyes snap upward. “You have time?”
I’m not supposed to meet the guys until tomorrow for another recording session, something I negotiated to move back when Rylee agreed to stay here. “Yeah. I think Zayne mentioned stopping by later, but I’m not sure. He’d probably play a round of Call of Duty even if he sucks at it.”
That makes my brother laugh. “He’s not very good at most of the games we challenge him to.”
I grin. “That’s why it’s so entertaining.”
We both snicker.
He checks his phone and frowns. “I can probably play a round now, but I actually have plans later.”
“Look at you, Mr. Popular. Work?”
He fidgets with his glasses. “Er…no.”
I cock my head. “Date?”
His shoulders lift. “Something like that.”
“Does Mum know you’re putting yourself out there again?” Not that it’s any of her business until Chase makes it, but she’s always been nosey about who’s in our lives.
Pushing himself up and shoving the stool back into place, he shoots me a wry grin. “If she doesn’t need to know about the girl you moved in here, then she doesn’t need to know about the girl I’ve been seeing.”
Touché. “Does that mean this is serious if you’re seeing the same someone more than once?”
Anyone who doesn’t know my brother wouldn’t notice the smallest tick he has when something bothers him. His right eyebrow twitches. But I notice every time because I’ve spent a lot of time helping raise him.
All he says is, “I’ll get the Xbox set up.”
I watch as his disappears from the room, my curiosity officially piqued. If he doesn’t tell me, I’m sure Mum will figure it out on her own. She could have been a private eye if she wanted to because she has eyes and ears everywhere.
I debate on going upstairs to see if Rylee wants something to eat since she hasn’t been downstairs yet. From what I read online she needs to have a routine eating schedule to take her medicine with. As soon we got back here the night of our dinner, I locked myself in my room and Googled everything there was to know about her condition once she came clean about it.
Luckily, I keep everything well stocked in the kitchen, and for the most part it’s all healthy. Chase doesn’t think I know that he hides Captain Crunch in the back of the cupboard, but I’ve seen it. Same with the Swedish Fish he keeps tucked away that he’s stopped trying to hide at this point.
Then again, I can’t tease him. I’ve had a sweet tooth for as long as I can remember, and ever since I stopped using I’ve found myself craving some of my old childhood favorites like sugar is my fallback. When Dad sends care packages, he still includes Caramello Koalas because I’d always begged for them when I was little. I rarely share whatever I get with the guys when they see anything arrive from Dad, and only let Chase dig in because Mum would give me the eye if I hoarded it all myself.
But for whenever my stash is gone, I keep Lifesavers in my pocket to suck on. Or anywhere, for that matter. The guys tuck them away in the studio in case I ever run out, and the smartasses even made the poor stagehand on tour bring me wild cherry flavored ones every night, all picked out from the variety pack bag because nobody told the poor bastard that you could buy bags of only that flavor. He looked pale when I found a different flavor in the mix he’d sorted.
After a few moments of contemplation, I decide to bite the bullet. Being around Rylee is still off-putting knowing what she did, but I can’t completely blame her. Zayne was the one drinking and doing drugs, and he was doing it publicly. Anyone could have snapped a picture and sold it for a decent amount that night. It just happened to be the girl I felt for that perpetrated the event.
And the more I think about what she said to me at the restaurant, the harder it is to stay upset with her. Anger has no place in my mind, especially when I was the one who supplied the drugs the night that picture was taken. Zayne had taken them off my hands and I was stupid enough to believe he’d get rid of them so nobody could use them the way I’d wanted to.
Rylee makes a strong point about people like me and the guys having the means to get the help we need if we want to. I’m just as guilty over what consequences followed that article, so holding a grudge is pointless.
I approach the cracked door of the room she’s staying in. It’s in a hallway offset by a few other guest bedrooms, a bathroom, and an open living area that doesn’t see much use unless there’s a party. I try keeping people on the
