We never heard the rest of it, because I’d stood up and helped him do a face-plant on the deck. He didn’t get up.
“McGill…” Drusus complained.
“I’m sorry sir. This man appears to have tripped or something.”
“Sit back down, Centurion.”
The hog that had rudely stabbed me was dragged away. I gave his buddies a grin and a wave, but they didn’t appreciate my brand of humor.
Galina cleared her throat and took center stage between me and the holotank. “Listen up, there’s no more time for fooling around. Governor Nox has graciously agreed to talk to you, McGill.”
Drusus leaned forward. His face was troubled and very serious. “McGill, don’t say anything damaging, please.”
“I wouldn’t think of it, sir.”
A moment later, the holotank lit up. There was a female Mogwa standing in the middle of it. She was just a projection, of course, but that didn’t make her look any less ugly.
Mogwa are unpleasant to the eye under the best of circumstances. Nox was no exception. She had six limbs, each of which ended in a hand-foot thing that could be used to walk or eat with. Her central thorax was bulbous and shiny-black like the body of a fat spider. Hanging loosely from her gut area was a pouch—and it looked empty.
“Animals,” she began, “your governess is here. It is time for adjudication.”
I looked around at Drusus and Turov, kind of hoping they’d say something—but they didn’t. If anything, they turned up the spotlight on me and made sure the cameras were all centered on poor old McGill. I felt like a sacrificial goat on an altar.
Swallowing hard, I decided that if they were going to ditch me and serve me up cold as the guilty party in every crime they could dream-up, I was damned-well going to talk for a bit.
“Hello, Governess Nox! Welcome to Earth.”
Nox eyed me coldly, but that didn’t mean squat. It was a rare thing for a Mogwa to eye a human in any other way.
“Identify yourself, creature.”
“I’m James McGill, sir. We’ve met before.”
Nox stared. “You confess? You admit that you are the one and only McGill-creature?”
“Uh… I guess so…”
“Excellent. Your capture will expedite this process.”
“Wait a second, your Highness… I’m not actually confessing to anything. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to have done.”
Nox tilted her nasty head to one side. “An appeal to idiocy? Is that the nature of your defense? Nairbs, quote the law to this beast.”
Promptly, a green blob of an alien with the general shape and behavior pattern of a trained seal slapped into the scene. He was prim, and he looked kind of excited. His pointy head was held high.
“This is a fine day for my department. We’ve been waiting for decades for justice, and now we’re—”
“Hurry up and read the charges,” Nox interrupted.
“Yes, of course. McGill-creature, you are hereby found guilty of treason, subversion, sedition and unauthorized travel. How do you plead?”
“How do I plead? You said I’ve been found guilty already.”
The Nairb rippled a little. It was his version of a shrug. “Semantics. Under Galactic Law, the defendant is guilty as charged until he proves otherwise. In this instance, I find that outcome highly unlikely.”
“Whatever. Tell me what evidence do you have against me, you snot-bag.”
Excitedly, the Nairb worked his flippers. “Excellent. Verbal assault upon a public official has been added to the expansive list. Despite the illegal nature of your request, it will be granted.”
While I stewed, he signaled for a video to be played. At first, I didn’t even recognize the dim-lit scene, but then I saw myself and Lenny walking between shipping containers.
“Oh yeah, that’s a sailor named Lenny. I didn’t catch his last name.”
“Silence, criminal. Operator, back the visual up five seconds.”
The vid backed up and began to play again from the beginning. It was incomplete—it had clearly been edited. In this version, I appeared to walk up to a shipping container, mess with the device that stole things out of it, and then when two dozen sailors came storming down to stop me, I shot at them before using the device on myself and teleporting away.
“Wait a frigging second, here,” I complained. “That’s not how it happened. Why don’t you call Lenny in here? He was an eye-witness.”
In answer, Turov leaned forward. “That sailor was permed during this incident. All the others were also permed later, when the counter-invasion from Green World began.”
I stared at her and gaped. She avoided my eye. Drusus looked uncomfortable as well.
“So that’s the deal, huh?” I asked. “Sure, let’s ship old McGill down the river. Paste every crime on top of his head, and—”
“McGill-creature,” Nox said. Her voice was loud, like the voice of a goddess. “Did you, or did you not transport yourself into Skay space without authorization?”
“I was inspecting those crates, that was my mission. Those sailors were stealing stuff. I didn’t know where it was going. It was my job to find out.”
“Irrelevant,” the Nairb chimed in. “Immaterial. Intent is meaningless. The facts are clear. This creature invaded Skay space on its own initiative, sparking a border incident between two Galactic species.”
“That much seems to be clear,” Nox agreed. “After this initial reckless act, the entire situation spun out of control. Both sides are now armed and ready for war.”
I had the gall to interrupt, and I ignored their shocked irritation. “That’s not true, sirs. The Skay minions were plotting to invade Earth from the beginning. All I did was stumble onto the scheme and uncover it.”
Nox waved for her Nairb lawyer to take over.
He worked his flippers a bit then looked up at me. “What evidence do you have to support your absurd claims, human?”
“There are plenty more vids.