Grimacing, I let him sit down to eat beside me.
“Hey buddy,” he said, “I want to tell you there’s no hard feelings from me over dying down there.”
“Yeah?”
“That’s right. I thought for sure you were going blow me up with Kivi’s bombs, but you just had me play rabbit with them. A dick-move for sure, but acceptable under the circumstances. I would have survived, actually, if that thing hadn’t hooked me later with its fishing line.”
“Hehe yeah, that was funny.”
Carlos ate his grub for a few moments, but then he started talking again. With Carlos, that was as certain and unwelcome as waking up alone with a morning boner.
“Say, since we’re buds again, I was wondering if you could do me a favor.”
Here it comes. “How’s that?”
“I need a signature. A scribble will do, really.”
“On what?” I asked warily.
He showed me a roll of computer paper. “On this discharge notice. I’m quitting.”
“Ah come on, now. I thought you didn’t have any hard feelings?”
“Oh noooo, I’m feeling fine. I’m the belle of the ball here on Green World.”
I looked it over. It was an actual request to discontinue service. I couldn’t believe it. “I could sign this, but you’ll need more people up the line.”
“I know that.”
“Jeez, Carlos… come on. You don’t really want to quit, do you?”
He sighed. “It’s not just this. It’s a lot of things. I’ve been doing some thinking.”
That was a bad thing for any man to do, but in the legions, it was possibly the worst thing that could happen to any soldier. Our lives, after all, were abnormal and downright crazy. Anyone who could accept dying all the time had to be a little nuts.
“Look,” I said, “I’ll sign this later, when the campaign is over, if you still want out.”
“Yeah? All right. I guess I can’t argue with that. They won’t fly me home or anything until this is over.”
“Right. Besides, my handwriting is about as bad as my singing,” I said.
Carlos immediately perked up. “What? You mean you sing like a serial killer? What does that even sound like?”
We laughed, and then we ate together quietly. I didn’t argue with him about wanting to leave the service. We’d all thought about it. I was kind of surprised that getting eaten by one oversized sea monster had finally done the trick, but why not? What would make me quit someday, assuming I wasn’t permed first? It was a mystery to be pondered.
Later on, I was yawning on my bunk, and someone small and shapely came to bug me.
“Kivi? What is it, girl? I’m pretty bushed.”
“I’m glad we made it back home,” she said.
“Yeah, I am too. Now, if you’re not in the mood to climb into my bunk, I’d thank you to find someone else to talk to.”
She ignored this and walked into my tent anyway. It was a single, about three meters square. That was high-living when you were in the field with the legions, even for a centurion.
“Um…” she said, “have you heard about Carlos? He’s talking about quitting.”
“Oh yeah, he told me. We’ll throw him a party or something.”
A small foot thumped into my ribs. I growled and came halfway out of my bunk. Kivi skipped away deftly.
“Sorry… I’m upset.”
“What? You mean about Carlos? Who are you kidding? You haven’t given him the time of day for a year or three.”
“Yes… I know. I feel bad about that now. And I feel bad about giving him bombs and blowing him up today.”
I yawned uncontrollably. “Can this wait until morning?”
“No.”
Sighing, I sat up on one elbow. “I need a drink.”
She had one, as I suspected. We shared it and winced. It wasn’t the good stuff. It was brown, and it smelled like varnish. That’s about the best I could say for it.
Still, it got the job done. I was soon dozing again with my arm tossed over my face.
I felt Kivi hovering near. She wasn’t getting the hint.
Now, a man like me wanted to either get some tail or some shuteye at night. I couldn’t do both, usually. Right now, Kivi was breaking my rules by refusing to allow me to have either one.
Finally, I removed my arm and stared up at her. “What?”
“You’ve got to do something, James.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know… you tricked him into joining legion Varus all those years ago, didn’t you?”
“That’s just a rumor.” The truth was, of course, that I had tricked him into joining. I’d talked up the legion because I kind of hated him when I first met him.
That thought gave me a pang. I sighed. “All right, all right,” I said. “I’ll fix it. I’ll fix it tomorrow.”
“If you can do that, I’ll warm your bed for the whole trip back.”
Now, at long last, she had my attention. I sat up, and my eyebrows were lifted as high as they could go. “Really?”
“Really.”
“Just for old Carlos? What about Sargon? Isn’t he still your—?”
She made a rude noise with her lips. “No way. I’m tired of him. I was tired of him before Edge World.”
I shrugged. “Okay, I’ll see what I can do. How about a little… incentive?”
I reached for her, but she danced away again. “No. Get him to erase that discharge paper, then we’ll talk.”
I flopped back on my bunk, and she finally left me in peace. Naturally, I had no idea at all how I was going to change Carlos’ mind. I’d just wanted her to go away.
Sighing contentedly, my mind blanked out, and I fell sound asleep.
-47-
Only the dead could’ve slept harder than I did that night, and I should know. If I’d been
