“I won’t do it. I have to leave you untouched.”
“But Capp—”
“Please, Maizie. This is how it has to be.”
Capp stood and adjusted his Stetson. He looked at Maizie and adjusted her shirt collar and stroked her damp mane of hair. Reaching for her hand, he pulled her up and out of the cave and out to the horses. There, Capp helped her into the saddle. “Want to race back to the ranch house?”
Maizie smiled, a labored smile. Capp felt the heaviness of her effort. He chose to smile his slow-growing Kentucky smile, the one she loved, but he felt anything but happy.
“No, I want this trail ride to take a long time. I need to be with you tonight, Capp,” she said.
“Mary will worry.”
“James and Mary have gone to town. They are staying at the Colonial Hotel tonight. Anyway, I don’t care if Mary worries.”
“I promised her I wouldn’t touch you, Maizie.” Maizie sighed a long regretful sigh.
“A longer way home, please Capp. Just a few more hours.”
“All right, let’s follow along the Del Henny fence. Bet those trees are glowing in the moonlight.”
“I love you, Capp.”
The lump in Capp’s throat caused him to cough and swallow hard. He only nodded. Climbing into his own saddle, he turned Running Wild toward the trail.
It was a long, quiet trail ride home. They rode next to the fence, a living, thorny barrier, entwined and growing. A fence planted to protect those who lived within its border. This year, the new growth was vigorous and dense. The thorns contained within the foliage were ready for any onslaught, man or beast. As much as the fence kept evil out, perhaps it kept goodness in. He wondered if the people of Glidewell were safe from society’s cruel laws. Maybe Glidewell was a place he could live out his life with a colored woman, but maybe it wasn’t. Mary certainly didn’t think so. He straightened in the saddle and looked over to the woman he loved. She turned to him and smiled, soft and tender. This was another image he would take with him. Capp nodded his head and patted Running Wild. No words were spoken. In the moonlight with the Osage orange-tree fence to his right, he pledged that when he returned, he would be the man he needed to be. Then he looked up at the moon, his beacon of hope, and felt his heart fill with possibilities as moon shadows danced on the ground beneath him.
Chapter 110
Maizie’s Diary
Christmas 1935
It’s been a long time since I have written in this diary. I’ve been writing letters to Capp instead. I got a package from him three days ago. I’m going to save it and open it on New Year’s Day. I want the surprise to last longer. A package from Capp means more than anything to me. It’s a small package wrapped with brown paper and tied up with string. I hid it in my closet. This is the first present I ever got in the mail. He has been gone seven months and sends me a letter every week. I miss him, but I know it’s important he does well in New York. Mary says it is important for him to get his education.
I love writing him letters. My letters are long and his are short, but Capp says a lot in those few words. Leon gives me Capp’s letters and mails mine before Mary sees them. It’s our secret.
I love Mary, but I can’t talk with her about Capp. I want to tell her about all that Capp is doing, how hard he’s working, and how kind and sweet his words are. I ache to tell her, but I don’t. Mary still thinks I’m a child, even though I’ll be twenty-one years old in a few months.
I don’t talk to Mary about Capp, but confide in Leon. Leon sees the goodness in Capp and understands how I feel. Sugar and I go for walks. Sometimes I read parts of Capp’s letters to her because she misses him too. She has so many stories of when Capp was a boy. I feel so lucky to know about Capp through her stories. Her eyes are all warm and smiling when she talks about him, like a real mama, like she loves him.
Mary and I leave for Paris in the spring. Just eight weeks, she says. I’m worried we will leave before Capp comes home and it will be even longer before I see him. Mary is taking me on this trip for my education, she says. We are going to museums and concerts, taking French language classes and shopping for clothes in Paris. She says the trip is important to my becoming a lady. Truth is, I just want to be Capp’s gal, his love. I’m not sure what being a lady means. I think she means like her. Don’t know if a girl like me could ever be like her.
Capp says in his letters he has a dog who keeps him company at the training grounds. He didn’t pick out the dog; the dog just found him at the track. He calls her Bella. He says he doesn’t get so lonely anymore. He says he’s becoming who he wants to be, a good man. This winter he is working as an apprentice with the Belmont track vet. He’ll be able to put all the good practices to work when he returns to Glidewell. He also manages all the training and care of the Glidewell horses. He says all five Glidewell horses have competed well. James is happy because he hopes to qualify one of them for the Kentucky Derby. Last year’s Belmont and Preakness didn’t bring Glidewell any fame, but James accepted it. He says Glory Be will have a fine career and one day be a stud out to pasture.
Capp says he is figuring things out and for me not to
