“Oh. That’s awful.”
“Yeah.” I absently color my picture, but my heart isn’t in it. I’m sad now.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s probably for the best. I’m not myself when I’m with him anyway. He’s shaking up my well-organized life.” I grin at her, though I know it doesn’t reach my eyes.
Lucy frowns. “Maybe your life needed a bit of shaking?”
I shrug. “Probably, but it was working.”
“How was it working? I mean you deserve to have a Daddy more than two hours a week. You’ve kept everyone at arm’s length for years, not letting anyone get close to you. I don’t think it was really working,” she says gently.
I know she means it in the nicest possible way. I stare at my picture, absentmindedly coloring. Maybe she’s right, but what I’ve been doing was safe. I’ve kept my personas separate for years. No one in my vanilla world is aware of my fetish life and, to a certain extent, vice versa. I haven’t let the two collide. As an adult, I’ve dated—albeit intermittently—but I’ve also given my little what she needed.
I’ve never considered the possibility that the two could collide in a functional way. I’m not even sure I like the idea. It seems complicated. How on earth would I keep everything straight if I was always submitting to a Daddy even while I was at work?
And none of that even matters because it’s not an option that’s on the table. It’s not like the perfect Daddy is someone I’ll encounter on every street corner. This is a fluke. And Colt is not my Daddy. He’s a newish Dom who happens to click with me and isn’t staying in my life.
I need someone’s advice though so I look at her and set my crayon down. “Something is different with Colt. It’s like I can be myself with him. Both sides of me. And the lines are blurring and that makes me nervous.”
Lucy grips my hand. “That’s okay. You’re evolving.”
I lick my lips. “I’ve never felt sexual with other Daddies. With Colt… I mean… I get mixed up. My little gets aroused with him. I want to have sex with him and not worry about which side of me is present. Does that make sense?”
Lucy smiles. “Of course. My little has sex. I’m almost never an adult when I’m with Master Roman. Maybe I’m not as babyish when we get naked, but I still have a piece of me that’s submissive and little at all times. There are no rules. Just do what feels right. Does Colt mind if your little comes to bed?”
I shake my head. “He doesn’t seem to. I think he enjoys both sides of me.”
“Then there’s your answer. Maybe he’s just the first Daddy to come along with whom you felt that kind of attraction. Maybe it’s a gift.” She smiles warmly.
“Maybe.” I try to shake off the maudlin. I also try not to think about how long I might get to have him in my life.
Lucy gives my hand a squeeze. “Don’t give up. Maybe there’s a way to make things work out. You never know.”
I don’t respond. I can’t. If I try to say anything else on this subject, I will start crying. I don’t want to cry right now. I’m going to do a scene with Colt, and that’s exciting.
Lucy colors silently next to me for a while before she nudges me. “Colt is waving at you.”
I turn my head and light up when I see him. I pick up my picture and skip across the room toward him, holding it out.
He smiles as he takes it from me. “Love it, baby.” He lifts me over the fence without opening the gate, hugging me tightly. He kisses my forehead. “Ready to do a scene with me?”
“Yep.”
He takes my hand and leads me down the hallway toward the private rooms. After glancing through the window, he turns to me. “Davis and Britney are already inside. They said we can watch them and then they will watch us. Is that okay?”
I nod. “Yes. Sir.”
He squeezes my shoulder before he opens the door and we step inside.
“Hey,” Davis says as he lifts his gaze. “Hope you don’t mind, but we’re going to try something new tonight.” He lifts up a paddle.
Britney is standing near him, her hands clasped behind her back, swaying slightly from side to side. She looks uncertain. I don’t blame her. I’ve never had a Daddy spank me with anything other than his hand. Maybe I would like it. I don’t know.
Colt leads me to the loveseat that’s along one wall. He sits, but instead of settling me next to him, he spreads his legs and positions me between them, facing out. He wraps an arm around my middle, holding me close against his chest. I’m short enough that his cheek can rest near my shoulder against my biceps.
Davis tips Britney’s chin back and meets her gaze. “Ready?”
“Yes, Sir.” Her voice is not strong.
He chuckles. “You sure?”
“Yes, Sir.”
He leads her toward the bench in the middle of the room. It’s the kind that’s like a pommel horse with four padded sections for elbows and knees.
Davis grabs the hem of Britney’s dress and pulls it over her head.
She shivers and pulls her biceps in close to her boobs. I know that look. It’s the same thing I’ve done on occasion if I was artificially embarrassed by people staring at my tits but knew I would get reprimanded for blatantly covering them.
Davis squats in front of her and tugs her arms away from her sides. He cups her breasts next and thumbs her nipples, making her rise onto her toes.
My nipples stiffen at the same time as hers, and Colt flattens his palm on my belly, letting his thumb absentmindedly stroke the underside of my breast. My boobs are covered
