Her brows remained furrowed, and her gaze darted back and forth. “I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
“I wish I fucking knew too. But at the end of the day, I like you. A lot. And I’m not even sure where the fuck this is going because it’s not like we can be anything real. It’s not like we’re in the same circle, exactly, and my parents are going to fucking flip. And God knows you’re stubborn, and you think you’re better than I am. Which makes no sense because of who I am and who you are. But Jesus Christ, I just want to hold you and find out what makes you cry and obliterate it. I want you so much I feel like I’m burning alive with it.”
There, I’d said that. How bad was it?
I did an internal check. My heart was still beating far too fast, like I’d run a marathon. My breath was okay, but choppy. After all, I’d pushed through the crowd to get to her because I’d been worried she’d leave. So the choppy breathing made sense.
My brain. Oh, Jesus Christ. No. Don’t look at that. It’s a hot bloody mess.
But I’d said it, at least. I didn’t wait for months like fucking Keaton and Lennox had, playing their stupid games. My gaze searched hers, waiting for her to say something because why hadn’t she said something yet?
Her brows were no longer furrowed. Instead, one of them was lifted in a delicate arch.
“Are you going to bloody say something, or leave me standing here with my heart on my sleeve?”
“Was that your heart?”
What kind of question was that? I nodded slowly. “I mean, I just told you how I feel, and you don’t say anything?”
“That was how you feel?”
“Yes, did you not hear me? It’s not that loud in here.”
She huffed out a breath. “So, you think that I should be overjoyed about your confession?”
My gut twisted. The sting of rejection all too familiar, needling all my prickly pain points. Bloody Tanith. “You’re twisting this.”
“No, fuck you, Owen. What? You think because you’re rich you can tell me that you like me in spite of yourself? You can tell me that you don’t even know why you like me, and I’m not at your level, and I should be somehow overjoyed by this?”
I frowned. “It’s not like that.” How could she be mad about what I’d said?
Seconds ticked by, and very slowly my brain came online and started replaying all the words that had come out of my mouth. It was as if the process slowed down, down, down, until I took each word at its own merit.
You think you’re better than I am. Which makes no sense because of who I am and who you are.
I could feel the blood drain from my face. Fuck. “That’s not what I meant. That just came out wrong. I—bugger, that’s not what I—”
She held up her hand. “Oh no. That’s what you meant. You think I’m beneath you. You think that you’re better than me. You think I should be overjoyed because you’re a Montgomery, or whatever the fuck that means, and I should be happy to get the crumbs that you dole out. You think you deserved that fellowship and I didn’t. And you tell me all this as you confess whatever you want to call these feelings. You’re a jackass.”
I snapped my head. “What?”
“You’re a jackass, Owen Montgomery. I don’t want you. And my family might not have the kind of money that you have, but they’re all worth more than you, a hundred of you, any goddamned day. You like me in spite of yourself? What kind of bullshit is that? Let me make things perfectly clear for you. No, I’m not interested. Because I deserve the kind of guy who wants me because I’m awesome, who sees every one of my faults and loves me because of them, not in spite of them. I deserve a guy who’s actually decent and will treat me like I’m a fucking princess.”
With every word of hers, I flinched. “No, just listen to me. I—”
“I’m done listening to you, Owen Montgomery. I’m done. Yeah, you can kiss. I’ll give you that. But you know what? You can hardly be the best kisser in the world. I refuse to accept it. So I’m going upstairs, calling Sera and the girls, telling them about the kind of bullshit that you just laid on me, and then I’m going to make a list of all the other boys I have always wanted to kiss at our school. And then I’m going to make a plan to kiss all of them because at least they won’t be you.”
Fury gripped me at my core. “If you think that you can—”
“What are you going to do, Owen Montgomery? You did this. You walked up to a girl you claim to really, really like, and then told her you liked her despite yourself. So, fuck you.”
And then she marched upstairs. All I could do was stand and watch.
Turned out the appendage I was wearing on my arm was my dick, not my heart.
Chapter 10
Owen
When I got home, I stormed into my bedroom and slammed the door. Then I kicked the leg of my bed as hard as I fucking could, furious with myself and with Tanith and with everything.
“What the fuck, man?” a sleepy voice asked, and I blinked through the darkness to see Phin sitting up in my bed.
“Why are you in my room?” I asked, flicking on a light. Phin’s dark hair was sticking up everywhere, and
