But today his father had taken a chunk of his heart and squeezed so hard that Jayce felt physically ill from verbal abuse.Just thinking about it made him want to cry. He needed to focus on something else to get through this dinner, which now feltlike a chore.
“How was your day?” It was generic, but maybe she had something to share.
“It was fine. Uneventful.” She glanced at him and smiled. “Where would you like to eat?”
“You pick.” He heard the distance, the snap in his tone, so he cleared his throat. “Anything is fine with me. Really.”
“There’s a pizza place that isn’t far.” She didn’t look at him this time. Most likely she was regretting her decision to joinhim for dinner, or what she called supper. He’d learned the noon meal was referred to as dinner.
“Pizza sounds great.” Hard as he tried to sound chipper, he was failing.
He still expected her to pry, to ask what was wrong, but she remained quiet, and Jayce found the sound of the horse hoovesstriking the gravel in perfect rhythm to be soothing.
When they arrived at the restaurant, he waited while she tethered her horse to a post. He supposed when there were so many Amish people in the area, either you provided a place to tie the horses or you lost business.
Inside, they were seated at a booth and handed menus. After they chose to share a pepperoni pizza and each ordered iced tea,Jayce slouched into the seat and leaned back.
“I’m sorry. I know I’m not in the best mood.” He raised an eyebrow, almost daring her to ask him about it.
“We can’t be in a gut mood all the time.” She smiled before taking a sip of tea.
This woman had more patience than any of the therapists Jayce’s father had sent him to over the years. The appointments hadusually ended with a quick diagnosis and a prescription that made him tired.
Surely some small talk was coming, something to break what was becoming an awkward silence. But Evelyn spread her napkin onher lap, took another sip of tea, and continued to be quiet with a saintly smile.
“My father said some horrible things to me today. But I didn’t want tonight to be about my relationship with my dad. I wantedyou and me to have a good time, to just chill and get to know each other.” He pounded a fist against his chest. “But I amso uptight, and I’ve been so upset, I feel like I might explode. Or cry.” He shook his head. “So instead of burdening you,I’m just apologizing, and I’m hoping you won’t judge me by this one night.”
Her eyes took on the twinkle he’d noticed before when she was contemplating what to say, as if putting all of her heart and soul into it. “Jayce, only God judges us. And all too often, we judge ourselves. I’m here because I choose to be. If you want to talk about your day, I will listen, but never judge. If you don’t want to tell me about it, if it’s too painful right now, I understand that too.” She paused. “But friends take the gut with the bad.”
He held her gaze. “Is that what we are—friends?”
“It’s all we can be,” she was quick to say.
He stared into her eyes. She felt safe, for reasons he couldn’t explain. “I hate my life.” It was blunt and to the point,but it pretty much summed things up. “If it were up to me, I’d just stay here and never go back to LA.”
The waitress came and put a pepperoni pizza between them and handed out two plates. They each slid a slice onto their plates,but neither Jayce nor Evelyn made a move to take a bite.
“Only you can change your life,” she said before she peeled a pepperoni off her pizza and nibbled on it. “But I don’t thinkyou would be happy here. It’s too different from what you’re used to.”
“Exactly. It’s different from all I’ve ever known and disliked.” He took a bite, swallowed, and said, “I’ve been on vacationsto all kinds of places. Even overseas. But that’s what they were—vacations. This is a way of life. Simpler, slower, and somehowless confusing.”
“You’ve only been here a week and a half. That’s not long enough to get to know a place or the people.” She finally quit pickingat the pepperonis and took a full bite.
“You’re right. But there seems to be a sense of family here that I’ve never known. My relationship with my father is horrible, and my mother wasn’t exactly the best role model either. I don’t want to be a grown man who blames everything on his parents. I take responsibility for my own actions. I never should have hit that guy and gone to jail. I don’t usually admit it, but in some ways I’ve become a pro at holding my temper. I can’t even count the number of times I felt the back side of my dad’s hand. Until one day I got older and strong enough to grab his arm before it made contact. Now he just lashes out at me verbally. I doubt that’s how you grew up.”
“It’s not.” She dabbed at her mouth with her napkin. “But I had to pick a switch plenty of times and was dragged out to thewoodshed where spankings were carried out. We weren’t spared the rod, as I’ve heard it said. But I grew up in a loving family.We work hard, we love deeply, and we worship Gott. I don’t understand how you grew up, and I’m sorry for you. But even here many times kinner—children—showed up at school with black eyes or bruises in other places, and I know they didn’t hit their head on the coffeetable or fall down the stairs. Family abuse and sin are everywhere, and our community isn’t immune. Ya, we probably live simpler, but not necessarily slower.” She shrugged. “Maybe in some ways. We aren’t slaves to a lot
