Is Hanna right? Am I too dangerous to live amongst other fae? If so, what will become of me?
“You have every right to be upset, Hanna,” Astrid replied. “And I cannot imagine the profound depth of your loss. But it’s unfair to label Becka so. Houses have been blessed with profoundly powerful individuals in the past and have learned to accommodate them.”
“Your house won’t consider itself so lucky after she blights one of your own!” Hanna’s raised voice filled the room. “She could maim any of you.”
“Perhaps you should rest?” Berak said. “I could give you something to ease your nerves.”
Hanna glared at everyone. Elder Langdon shrank back, attempting to hide behind a chair.
“I want nothing more from you,” Hanna replied. She looked to Alain, who glanced back at Becka for a lingering moment before accompanying Hanna from the chambers.
“That could have gone better,” Astrid said, rubbing a hand against her temple. “Langdon, I take it you’re well?”
“Yes, Lady Astrid.”
“Then if you wouldn’t mind excusing us?”
“Oh! Yes.” He approached Becka and reached out for her gloved hand. She flinched, but then took his hand in hers. He bowed at the waist, his long, unkempt hair reaching the floor. “Lady Becka, I am forever in your debt.”
“You’re welcome, Elder Langdon,” she replied, searching for and unable to muster a more eloquent reply. She’d had too many shocks in too short a period, and falling back on rote protocols learned as a child was all she could muster.
He left, leaving Astrid, Becka, Berak, Saana, and Luce and Saige in the room.
“I’ll speak with the duchess,” Astrid said. “Saana and Berak, I want you to monitor both Lady Hanna and Elder Langdon daily until they leave. Let me know if there’s any change in their respective conditions.”
“As you say,” Saana replied. Berak nodded his agreement.
“This isn’t any fault of yours,” Astrid said to Becka. “It was an accident.”
Becka tried to see Astrid’s point of view, but Hanna’s censure and rejection, which Becka had earned every inch of, had shaken her to the core. She didn’t intend to hurt anyone, but it just kept happening. First Vott and now Hanna. Who might she hurt next? Meanwhile, Astrid’s callous focus remained on what Becka’s power might mean to the house, first and foremost.
“It was my gift. It pretty much feels like my fault.”
“Try not to blame yourself. It was your power, but someone else literally forced your hand to use it.”
Becka groaned. “I wish I understood why it damages some gifts and not others.”
“I understand your frustration,” Astrid replied. “But you must be patient. In time, we will have the answers you seek.”
“I know we’ve spoken of this many times. Is there some way we can do more testing? I need to know why my powers don’t impact House Oak’s innate powers or the shifters,” Becka said.
“Shifters don’t count,” Luce said, her tone brooking no argument.
“What do you mean?” Becka asked. “Shifting is your own sort of… gift?”
“Shifting isn’t magical. It’s an aspect of our nature. An artifact of our covenant with the earth. Fae magic can’t touch it.”
She blinked at Luce, who had just delivered the longest speech Becka had ever heard from her lips. She’d heard about the shifter covenant and knew it had to do with their creation stories, but had never heard a shifter explain in more depth. Despite her curiosity, Becka knew better than to press for more information. No doubt Luce had revealed all she’d intended to.
“So, that’s not a thing, then?” Becka replied. Both Luce and Saige gave curt nods. She sighed in relief. At least she couldn’t hurt her shifter friends. “Well, all right.”
“Berak and I will puzzle over the vagaries of immunity to your gift, Becka,” said Saana. “But in the meantime, please avoid further contact with both Quinn and the shifters. There may be some threshold we don’t yet understand.”
The idea that some level of increased contact might harm Quinn turned Becka’s stomach. If she damaged his powers, Becka would never forgive herself.
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” she replied.
Astrid moved closer to Becka. “Will you come with me to see the duchess? I know she’ll want to hear about your success today.”
“Yes, it would be wise to have a quick word. Although I’m more interested in speaking to her about the accident with Hanna than I am about my success with Elder Langdon.” Her head still throbbed from using her Null power. She needed hot sauce. A whole bottle might not do the trick. Becka grabbed her bag and then fell into step beside Astrid. “After that I’ll head back to my quarters, order dinner, and then take a bubble bath.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. I’ve been head trainer for House Rowan for more decades than you’ve been alive. I could tell you stories of failures, perhaps not as awe-inspiring as today, but you’d be… suitably appalled. Life is not perfect, and neither is magic.”
Becka didn’t doubt Astrid’s experience, and, thinking back through her training, this might have been the kindest thing she’d ever said to her. Which was either a piece of reassurance or a censure of the position Becka found herself in. Perhaps both?
“That sounds like a discussion to be had over a bottle of wine,” Becka replied.
“Or whiskey?” Astrid laughed. “I heard you’re fond of it.”
Becka glanced back and saw Saige and Luce trailing behind them, knowing where all the whiskey had actually gone. Luce shrugged her shoulders. She shook her head in return.
Chapter 17
“I would ask you to explain it all again, but I can’t bear to hear it and I doubt you’re up to it,” Maura said. She sounded as tired as Becka felt. At least she didn’t appear angry.
After being ushered into Maura’s chambers, Astrid and Becka had run through Hanna’s accident with her in excruciating detail. Becka had done most of the talking, aware of the tears running down her cheeks and the emotional waver in
