I try to play it off. “I’m sure he wants to catch up with all his friends.” Ryan eyes me for a moment longer, and I try not to fidget.
“I’m sure it’s nothing,” he says, and I relax a bit.
“Hey Mrs. Malone,” Ryan says, and moves past me into the kitchen, like he knows I might just need a minute alone.
“Oh, Ryan, stop calling me that. You’re not a boy anymore, and you can call me Barb.” As the two talk in the kitchen, I take a couple deep breaths to pull myself together. I walk back into the kitchen, and while it’s pretty early, and he’s likely still sleeping, I shoot off another text.
Hey Christian. Hitting up The Daily Grind, and going to do some shopping with Kaitlyn and Ryan. Catch up later?
I stand there for a second, and feel the burn of Ryan’s eyes as I wait for a response. Three dots appear and my heart picks up tempo.
Busy, can’t.
I stare at the two words, the air leaving my lungs like I’d just been sucker punched, and wait to see if he’s going to come back with a reason, or something…anything. This response doesn’t seem like something Christian would send. My mind goes back to the night he made love to me in my childhood bed. Yes, made love. No matter what he says or calls it, that’s exactly what we did, and now this. Two simple words blowing me off.
“If you’ll excuse me, I have to run to the bathroom.”
I dart down the hall with my phone and even though Kaitlyn is likely still asleep, I call her anyway. She picks up on the third ring, sounding groggy.
“Did I wake you?” I ask.
“No, actually. I’m in the bathroom on the floor.”
“Did you drink too much last night?” Kaitlyn isn’t much of a drinker. It interferes with her sleep and training.
“I had one drink with my brother. I should not be this sick. Ugh.”
“Sorry. We can cancel plans for shopping.”
“No, I want to go. I’m sure this will pass. Wait, why are you calling so early?”
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Christian.”
“What did he do?” she says, her voice a bit stronger.
“I don’t know…I just got this strange response from him.” I tell her what happened and she goes quiet for a second. “It’s weird right. That doesn’t sound like him.”
“I don’t know, Maize. You know him better than I do, and maybe now that he’s home, he’s back to the guy he used to be. I don’t know if that’s true. I just don’t know what to say.” She goes quiet for a second, and I blink the stupid tears pressing against my eyes. “Why don’t you text back?”
I shake my head, even though she can’t see me. “No, I don’t want to do that. Maybe I’ll just give it some time. He might be crazy busy or something.” My mind goes to the party at the country club, and unease rakes across my skin.
“Okay if that’s what you think is best.” I hear the toilet flush. “I’m going to go lay down for a bit.”
“We don’t have to go if you’re not up to it.”
“I’ll text you later.”
We hang up and I splash some cold water onto my face, and try to pull off casual as I walk back into the kitchen to find Ryan taking a tray of cookies from the oven. “These smell amazing,” he says and I’m glad he’s acting like his normal self in front of Mom.
“Were you talking to someone in there?” Mom asks.
“Yeah, Kaitlyn. She’s not feeling great so she might not be joining us for shopping.”
“What’s wrong with her?” Ryan asks. “I was texting with her last night and she seemed fine.”
“Sounds like the flu. It must have come on quickly.” I glance around as Ryan takes a hot cookie from the tray and yelps because it burns him. “Do you not have any patience?” I ask and turn the cold water on for him. He puts his hand under the tap as he shoves the cookie into his mouth and then dances around because the burn stings, and he has a hot cookie in his mouth.
“It’s hard to have sympathy,” I say, and he laughs around a mouthful of cookie. Mom just shakes her head, and it’s clear to see that she’s so happy her kitchen is full of fun and laughter today. We spend the next few hours baking and chatting about Harvard and Stanford, where Ryan is attending, also on a full ride. He’s a whiz on computers, and has a lead on a startup that wants him. Headhunters from some of the other big tech companies want him, but he’s all about the startups.
The morning passes quickly and I honestly don’t even want to know how many times I checked my phone. If I had to ballpark it, I’d say around a hundred. When it finally pings, I jump a little higher than I did when Ryan came to the door. I snatch it up quickly.
“It’s Kaitlyn,” I say injecting a measure of enthusiasm into my voice. While I’m happy to hear from her, I was really hoping it was Christian. “She’s feeling much better and said she’s good to meet for coffee and shopping.”
“Where are you going for coffee?” Mom asks.
“The Daily Grind. It’s her favorite.”
“I hate that place,” Ryan says. “Who charges one hundred dollars for a latte anyway?”
I laugh. “It’s not a hundred dollars.” He’s right though, it’s a coffee shop for the rich and famous, but Kaitlyn swears they make the best lattes on the planet and she treats herself to one every Christmas. With the meager amount of money in my account, I’m just going to get a regular drip.
“I’ll take the last of the cookies out,” Mom says. “You two go have some fun,
