“Yes. It’s the honest to God’s truth.” I take in the intensity of his eyes, and there is nothing to suggest he’s lying to me. In fact, there’s a sense of panic about him. “You need to believe me. I did not send that text. I didn’t even have my phone. Linc stumbled into my bed, where Chelsea was waiting for me, and I slept in the spare bedroom. If you don’t believe me, you can ask Linc.”
I take a huge breath, my brain once again going over everything this man has done for me since his wayward ball first hit me in the head. Honest to God, I actually hate myself that I thought badly of him. Old insecurities were too close to the surface. “That’s not necessary.”
He sucks in a breath, panic all over his face. “Please, Maize. Just ask him.”
“No.”
“If I found her there, Maize. I would have left. How could I ever sleep with another girl when I’m in love with you? You’re the only one I want.”
“You’re…in love with me?”
“Yeah, I have been for a long time.”
I put my hand on his arm. “Now I need for you to stop talking and start listening.”
His lashes fall slowly over blue eyes, and my hand slides to his. “I thought you were just slumming, finally finishing what you started in that closet. I didn’t want to believe it, though. It didn’t make sense, but that stupid pants situation in the closet made me think on some level you were capable of being that mean. A mean boy.” I crinkle my nose. “I know you’re not that boy anymore, but old insecurities.”
A humorless laugh rumbles out of his throat. “You should know I never pulled my pants down. I always thought you pulled them down, until I found out there was a third person in the closet with us, and he was supposed to pants us both. The closet was open before he could. We were both pranked, Maize. I never would have dated Chelsea had I known she was behind it.”
My jaw drops open. Holy God, all this time I had it wrong. “I can’t believe it.”
“It’s the truth. Chelsea was definitely one of the mean girls.”
“I don’t think that’s ever going to change.”
“I’ve never cheated on you. Even though we weren’t a couple, I never cheated. I wanted to spend every waking second with you. Leaving every Sunday afternoon was hard, when all I wanted to do was stay in bed, or study with you. You trusted me then, didn’t even ask where I was going, and I honestly hope you can trust me again.”
“I don’t need to know where you were going.”
He smiles and leans in, not wanting anyone to hear, and that’s just like Christian. Fiercely private. “I volunteer at the children’s hospital. It’s just something I do. I didn’t need praise or glory, or have people thinking I was doing it to better my resume. That’s why I never told anyone, but I probably should have told you.” He swallows, and catches me off guard when he puts his hand on my stomach. “There’s something else we need to talk about.” A pause and then, “I know. I know everything.”
The warmth of his hand seeps under my skin, brings on a quiver. “Know what?”
“When I said you were nothing like my mother…” He pinches the bridge of his nose, and takes a breath like he’s trying to form his thoughts. “I want to be completely honest with you. At first, I thought you weren’t really on the pill, that you were trying to trap me. Then I thought maybe you didn’t need me anymore because you got into Harvard and the scholarship and internship, and then I thought maybe you ran away—”
I cut him off, unable to follow his ramblings. “Christian, what are you talking about?”
“The baby. I found a pamphlet for a pregnancy test in my bathroom.”
The world tilts on its axis and I nearly fall off my stool as the pieces fall into place. “I’m not pregnant, Christian. It wasn’t me who took the pregnancy test in your apartment. It was…a friend.”
He lets loose a breath and for a moment I can’t tell if it’s relief or sadness, but there is one thing I do know. I lean away from him, and he stiffens. “You’re a guy who does the right thing. You just said so yourself. But I don’t want to be with you, or have you telling me you love me, because you think I’m pregnant and being devoted is the right thing.” I slide off the stool, and stand with it between us. “I want to be with you because you want me.”
He stares at me so long and hard, the room so quiet you could hear a pin drop, and I start to fidget self-consciously.
He turns from me, and tears pound behind my eyes as he offers me his back. I grip the bar counter, wait for Kaitlyn to come collect the mess that is me, but she’s not moving. No one is moving. Everyone is watching Christian walk to the empty stage where no band is playing.
He takes a microphone, taps it twice. “Maize Malone, I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time now, and I hope in time you’ll love me too, and come to see that I’m not such a bad guy.”
My heart stops beating and time seems to stand still as I take him in, standing on the stage for all to see and hear his inner, most personal thoughts. What the ever-loving fuck! The guy who’s private about everything is standing on a stage in front of his football buddies, professing his love for me. Have I died and gone to heaven? Has hell frozen over? Have I fallen again, and lost all consciousness?
“I want to be with you, because I want you. Now and forever. I want to have kids with you, and start a
