“Then what was it?” He lifted his sunglasses up on his head, as if he had to let her see his sincerity.
“Me. How do I give myself to another man? I was his for so long. It should feel like a betrayal, but when I saw you yesterday and I felt…awake for the first time in years, I didn’t feel guilty. I only felt invigorated and alive for the first time since his passing. It made me realize I had to face letting Joe go. Only, I don’t know how. I thought I had let him go years ago. And I have, but I can’t let go of the promise I’d made on our wedding day.” She took in a stuttered breath. “I know it’s not cheating, and I know you don’t need this drama, so that’s why I pushed you away. I’m not the drama type, and I’d never bring that to someone else.”
He pressed his lips to her knuckles and looked at her with soft eyes. “I won’t push you. Take as much time as you need. I’ll be here.”
“Will you?” Tears broke through, and she hated herself for crying, but she couldn’t help it.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Trevor said, as if his words were all she needed to hear.
“Joe wasn’t supposed to leave me either, but he did. I know that sounds selfish, but one minute he was here and the next he wasn’t. I don’t think I can face losing someone like that again.” She slipped her fingers free and lifted her chin. “So friends.”
He looked straight at her and said, “No. I won’t be your friend.”
Chapter Thirteen
Trevor wanted to take her into his arms and tell her he wanted so much more than friendship, but besides the fact that he knew it could frighten her away, he thought he’d fall off the dang paddleboard again. “I don’t want to be your friend because I think you’re worth the wait for more. I’m not going anywhere. Joe couldn’t help what happened. If he could, I know he’d still be here. And I can’t promise nothing will happen to me, but I can tell you now that nothing else will pull me away. I won’t vanish on you or leave you. You can trust me. I’m not in any hurry. We’ll be more than friends, but only as much as you want to be.”
Her shoulders dropped from her ears, and she let out a breath. “Thank you.” She looked as if he’d removed a tanker ship from her shoulders. “I haven’t dated in a really long time, so this is all new to me. Wind told me that if I wasn’t careful, I’d be placed in the friend zone permanently.”
“Ha! No. I won’t place you there.” He wanted to lighten the mood and get her to relax around him to see it would be easy and not overly complicated or stressful to be more than friends with him, so he took his paddle and splashed her with some water.
“Hey. What was that for?”
“For making me stand up on this board and cross to this canal when it appears as if there is plenty of water to get through here if I raised the engine on the dinghy.”
“The water used to be shallower. It’s been a few years since I came to Friendship Beach.”
“Well, this place better be as magical as you say it is, or you owe me big-time.”
She paddled into the canal that was overgrown by trees arching over the water. “Oh really. And what would I owe you?”
“A kiss.” Oh, how he wanted that more than anything, but he shouldn’t have said it.
She splashed him this time. “I’m not that easy. I was always told not to kiss a boy on the first date.”
“Wow, it has been a long time for you. In case you didn’t notice, I’m not a boy, I’m a man.”
“Oh, I noticed. Naked, remember?”
Her words caused a heat to surge through him, and not from embarrassment this time. He pushed a low-hanging tree branch out of the way for them to paddle under. “Oh, I remember you watching me. Weren’t you taught staring’s rude?” She paddled faster, indicating that she was probably embarrassed, but he wouldn’t let it go that easily. “Let’s get back to the date part.”
“Date?” she asked, keeping her attention forward and ducking under branches.
“Yeah, you said this is our first date.” He nudged the back of her paddleboard, making it teeter.
“Ah, don’t do that.”
“Why? Scared of a little water?”
“Not so much the water, but that alligator over there makes me want to stay on this board.”
He followed her gaze over to the cement wall that reached from the water to the grass line and wished she hadn’t told him. Two eyes and a hump of a head peered over the water, but it didn’t move. “That’s not good. Aren’t they aggressive?”
“They can be. Let’s just say, don’t try to stand up and we should get moving.” She paddled a little faster and kept her eye on the gator across the canal.
The mosquitoes swooped in, nipping at his ears and neck. “No wonder no one knows about this place. You have to risk getting a foot chewed off by a gator or malaria from all the mosquitoes.”
She turned the board around a bend. “Almost there. And trust me, it’ll be worth it. Most amazing spot in the world.”
The tree canopy opened up at the bend in the canal, but when they reached a small beach, she stopped, mid-paddle.
“What’s wrong? Another gator?” he asked, although he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
“Worse.” She pointed ahead. “Look.”
He rowed up beside her and found a bunch of plastic bottles and trash washed up on the sandy shore and floating at the water’s edge.
“It’s ruined. How did this happen?” She rowed through the trash, pulled her paddleboard up onto the beach, and unstrapped her leg.
“I’m
