“Your majesty! A pleasure to see you again,” The sheriff said smugly, bowing ever so slightly.
“Your majesty my arse! I told you to bring the head of Robin Hood to me! The head you numb skull! You brought me nothing but an insolent woman who tells me nothing but for me to ‘go and fuck myself!’ Honestly, you had one job! You’re useless to me!” The king said.
The sheriff stood there saying nothing. He reached out, seizing the king by the throat and pulling him close to his masked face.
“You know, you really are the worst king in the galaxy! I think I’d do a much better job,” The sheriff said, tossing the king out of the open window.
The king tumbled downward, screaming at the top of his lungs as a flying cruiser smashed into his body, flipping his body so that a second cruiser hit him. His bloody body then continued its fall, miles downward to the city streets far below.
Nigel rushed out of one of the rooms, his flamboyant features somewhat girlie. He squealed like a woman, his hands covering his mouth in shock.
“You killed him! You murdered our king!” Nigel exclaimed in a high pitch voice.
“Did I?” The sheriff asked, stepping toward the much smaller man who suddenly realised what the sheriff was saying. Nigel bowed to his new king, falling to his knees.
“A king should be a man of power and authority! Not a whining little mule! This kingdom belongs to me now! If you will not serve me, you will not live,” The sheriff said. Nigel trembled and nodded his head in agreement.
“Prepare the woman! She will soon marry me and I will make her my queen! This... Robin Hood... Will die by my own hands,” The sheriff said, turning on his massive heel and walking out of the corridor.
Nigel waited until the sheriff had closed the door before allowing the escape of a very long, high pitched fart.
“Oh! I do believe I’ve SOILED myself!” he said, sobbing as he picked himself off the ground and ran into the room from where he had run.
*****
The Alanna had landed safely in Sherwood Forest and Will, John, Robin, Tuck, Reynold and Gilbert stood around inside the bunker looking at a holographic map of the city and the castle at its very centre.
“We take the ship to the top of the tower, eliminate those guns and the patrol units. I’ll enter the castle here,” Robin said, pointing at Marion’s window.
“Once Marion is safely aboard The Alanna, I’ll find the sheriff and eliminate him," Robin said and John raised an eyebrow.
“Oh ya will? And how do ya suppose you’ll be doing that?” John asked and Will nodded in agreement.
“Yes and please don’t say ‘with courage’ or I’ll throw something at you,” Will added.
“I need to get in close. When I get close enough, I’ll throw a sticky bomb on his back. He’ll never get it off. I jump out the window, climb in the top hatch of the ship and we blow the tower, just to be safe,” Robin said.
“And you’re assuming that all the pieces will just come together perfectly, I suppose?” John asked and Robin shrugged.
“Why not?” Robin asked and Will and Gilbert laughed.
“It’s completely insane! I like it! What about us?” Reynold asked, rubbing his bearded chin.
“You, Gilbert and Tuck will be the distraction down here,” Robin said, pointing to the base of the castle.
“Your job is to get as much attention as you can. We need to minimize the attention the guards and patrols are going to be giving the upper levels of the castle. If there’s a situation on the ground, guards will focus their efforts there. Take some explosives and rocket launchers. If the army comes out you are going to need all the help you can get. Remember, these are not men... They’re machines. Go nuts,” Robin said and Tuck nodded in agreement.
“Can we be drunk?” Tuck asked, Reynold looking at him in shock.
“Um, sure... as long as you don’t get yourself killed? I mean... that’s a weird question,” Robin said and Reynold smiled.
“Okay... so are there any other questions?” Robin asked and everyone was silent for a moment. Will sighed.
“What?” Robin asked and Will shrugged.
“What if Marion’s dead?” he asked and Robin shook his head.
“She’s not. I’m sure if she was I’d know. Something tells me the sheriff is the type to gloat. Now armour up! Grab as many weapons as you can and let’s kick some ass,” Robin said as the men prepared themselves for what was to come.
Robin, Will and John carried crates of arrows, guns and bombs as well as some fresh supplies into the ship. John handed Robin a high tech Bo, which sparkled with emeralds. Robin studied it.
“It’s indestructible. Impervious to laser fire and unbreakable by the hands of man or machine,” John said as Robin nodded in thanks, sticking his arm through the bow and hanging it over his shoulder.
Will picked up a gauntlet crossbow which he slid over his arm, aiming it at a tree. He twisted his hand slightly, firing an arrow into the tree which exploded on impact. Will looked down at the gauntlet open mouthed.
“Holy shit,” he said, flicking his arm upward so that a new arrow moved into position.
Friar Tuck picked up a large rocket launcher with the word Much written on it, feeling the weight of it in his hands. He laughed hysterically.
