But she didn’t want to tell him. She didn’t need to hear a lecture about getting involved with the wrong man, staying with him even after Aaron showed his true colors, and basically asking for what had happened to her and her family. She couldn’t stomach that from anyone, let alone Alec.
“Not really,” she replied, clearing her throat and sweeping falling hair across her face as they began to head out of the rink. It wasn’t nearly enough to mask her face the way she wanted to, but it was enough where she could do something with her fingers. She hoped they would stop shaking, especially in front of Alec.
“You know I’m going to find out,” he said, bumping shoulders with her. Noah couldn’t tell if he did it on purpose or if it just happened because they happened to be walking close together, but she got a whiff of his musky scent and she wrinkled her nose. Not because she was disgusted by it but because she actually liked it and she didn’t want to.
“Sure, Jan,” she said, falling into the easy way of replacing real emotions with well-known memes. “Whatever you say.”
Noah pushed the door to the rink open and held it for Alec. She made sure to keep out of his way, considering he had a hefty bag and two hockey sticks with him. Why he needed two, she had no idea. She wasn’t interested enough to ask, though she might if it meant changing the subject. And she desperately wanted that.
“Come on.” Alec grabbed her wrist and she flinched. She didn’t mean to, but she did, and she hoped – prayed, which wasn’t something she tended to do nowadays – that Alec didn’t notice.
Except, he did notice. Of course, he did, because even though it was easy to think that Alec was an idiot, there was more to him than just his pretty, chiseled face.
“What - I wasn’t –“ He immediately dropped her wrist like it scalded him and reached into his pocket to pull out his keys, shaking his head to himself.
Noah blew out a breath through her nose, trying not to feel guilty because she knew she hadn’t done anything wrong. It was just her body’s natural way of responding to being grabbed. She hoped he didn’t notice, but she assumed he had, based on his response to her response. Things were getting more complicated than they needed to, and it was her fault. He had helped her and she was being a bitch.
After they were tucked into the car, Alec turned the radio to some rock station. The fact that he listened to the radio over some streaming service on his phone amazed Noah to the point where she was about to tease him for it when she remembered the awkwardness between them and stopped. Instead, she rubbed her palms on her lap and sucked in a breath. She needed to figure something out, especially if they were going to be living with each other for the foreseeable future.
Noah cleared her throat as Bon Jovi blared from the speakers. The familiarity of the song helped her relax and she began to nod her head to the song.
“Do you remember,” Alec said, his pale green eyes in front of him as he looked ahead at the streets, “when you and Lily had that sleepover karaoke thing, and you guys would not shut up? You would take these songs and make them songs about people you knew or hockey players you guys had crushes on?”
Noah started to smile. “Yeah,” she said. She hadn’t thought about those times in a long time. Before Aaron ever entered the picture.
“Which one was this one?” he asked. “It was something ridiculous, I just can’t remember what.”
Living on a Prayer was one of her favorite songs, but it was especially one of her favorites when it came to changing the lyrics around.
“It was about Mr. McNulty,” she said. “He was bald, remember? So, instead of living on a prayer, it was living without hair.”
Alec chuckled, the noise a pleasant surprise. “I can’t believe that,” he said, shaking his head. “You guys were more creative than I remembered. How long ago was that?”
Noah pressed her lips together, resting her elbow on the window pane. “A few years ago, I think?” she guessed. “Eighth grade?”
He nodded. “That’s right,” he said. “Yeah, I remember. High school came and the two of you grew apart. Weird. I thought you guys would be best friends for the rest of your lives.”
Noah looked down at her lap. In all honesty, she did too. And the fact that they had grown apart because of Aaron…
No, she couldn’t blame Aaron for that. She met Aaron as a sophomore. He went to a neighboring high school and was a senior at the time. Noah thought she was so cool, dating someone older. No, the reason she and Lily fizzled out was because their different interests kept them consumed and it only worsened when Aaron came into the picture. Losing Lily’s friendship was on Noah, nobody else.
“I’m sorry,” she blurted out. She rubbed her hands on her thighs, trying to remove the perspiration that had built up there, that was seeping through her palms, but it didn’t seem to be doing much good. “For what I said back there. With Pat.”
Alec was silent for a moment, and Noah held her breath. This could go one of two ways; he could lecture her or demand to know what was going on, or he could crack one of his Sinclair jokes and pretend it never happened. She was hoping for the latter. She didn’t think Alec cared enough to want to know what happened, and she didn’t think he would waste his breath on a lecture that wasn’t going to make a difference. As such, she pressed her back into the leather of the car and waited.
“You know,”
