Noah snorted at that, and shook her head. Of course, he did. Why wasn’t she surprised by that?
“I guess you could say that,” she said.
“You disagree?”
“I think Alec makes simple situations more complicated than they have to be,” she replied, shifting in her seat. “I think we all have reasons for doing things. We all want to feel safe, loved, even if we don’t feel like we deserve it. I care about your brother, and he cares about me. We both realized it at the same time, and decided we owe it ourselves to try and see if this will work. If it does, that’s wonderful. And if not…” She let her voice trail off.
There was a moment of silence in the car as Lily digested this information. Noah turned her head so she could look out the window. Shopping centers and cookie-cutter houses passed her by. Everything looked the same – which was by design in Irvine. The greens were rich and vivid, planted between building and stores, trying to add life to an otherwise suburbia. There was no trash anywhere. Homeless people weren’t allowed to camp out within the city boundaries. If police officers happened to see one, they transported the homeless person to a shelter in Santa Ana, just to keep up appearances. It wasn’t just that the city was safe and affluent, it needed to appear that way.
“I know my brother is an ass,” Lily said, twisting the steering wheel in her hands, “but he feels things. He may not show it a lot of the time, but he does.”
“I know,” Noah said, picking her head up from the window so she could look at her friend.
“Do you?” Lily said. She got into the right-hand lane as it merged with the bike lane. “I just want to make sure. I don’t want you to hurt him.”
“Hurt him?” Noah looked at her friend, unsure how she felt about that statement. On the one hand, she understood that Lily was being overprotective, and for good reason. At the end of the day, Alec was her brother and Noah could respect that. On the other hand, the very notion of Alec caring about Noah to the point where he could be hurt was unfathomable. “Can anyone hurt Alec?”
“You wouldn’t think so,” Lily admitted through a sigh. “But you can. I just don’t want him to get hurt with you. I think you have the power to do that to him, whether you know it or not, whether he admits it or not.” She paused as they made their way through the parking lot of the arena. Lily pulled into one of three lines, waiting to be admitted to find a parking spot. “I know you’re going through a terrible time, Noah. And I’m here for you. But Alec is also my brother. Somehow, for some reason, he cares about you. The last thing I want is for anything – or anyone – to hurt him.”
Noah dropped her gaze into her lap. She didn’t disagree with what Lily was saying. She had a lot of drama, and she didn’t want it to affect Alec’s career. After what Alec had done for her, he didn’t deserve that.
“I don’t want to hurt him,” Noah murmured, though she wasn’t sure if her friend heard her at all. They had parked the car and were ready to attend the game.
Noah had never been a huge sports fan, probably because Aaron was really into sports. That was how he and Pat Zummo met and became friends – through sports. Apparently, Aaron recognized Pat as a sports journalist at some seedy sports bar, and offered to buy him a drink so Aaron could pick his brain about some team. Noah didn’t even remember what sport they were discussing. It could have been hockey, but it could have been anything else.
When sports were on, Noah felt free. Aaron wasn’t watching her anymore. He wasn’t focused on what she wore or didn’t wear, she wasn’t focused on all of the millions of mistakes she had made or was about to make. All he cared about was that game, which meant, Noah could breathe again. Whether she showered or read or snuck out of the house, it didn’t matter. Aaron’s sports unlocked her freedom, so while she didn’t understand them, she appreciated them.
Now, sitting in a stadium with other passionate fans, Noah felt like she didn’t have the right to be here in the first place. She wasn’t a fan of the team, not in the way these people were.
“Have you ever been to a hockey game?” Lily asked from beside her before throwing a piece of popcorn into her mouth.
Noah shook her head.
“You’re in for a treat,” she said. “It’s so much better when you’re here, in person. The game is just…” She let her voice trail off. “Well, watch. I don’t want to ruin it for you.”
Noah wasn’t sure how that was possible, but she didn’t say anything else. The two Zambonis were sweeping the ice, and the monitor above was counting down. There was about five minutes left before the game began.
She hoped she was doing the right thing by being here. She knew she represented Alec, that she was here as his pretend girlfriend to show Seraphina Hanson and everyone else that Alec had a brain and not just a dick, and he could use it when he chose. For some reason, though, she was nervous. She ran her palms across her thighs as the referees and linesmen came skating out. The audience reigned down a chorus of boos. Noah was so surprised by this, a chuckle burst out of her.
Lily glanced at her from the corner of her eye. “I think that’s the first smile you’ve had since I can remember,” she pointed out.
“I didn’t realize the officials could be so openly booed,” she admitted.
Lily just grinned. “Just wait,” she
