But Braden, damn. He owns my heart and soul. I will never love again. It’s impossible when I gave it all away to him. I never truly knew what love was until Braden. My heart is crushed, and I don’t think I will ever be the same.
It’s been a couple of days since I left, and I miss him so much that I physically hurt. I’ve played out every romantic moment, every time we had sex, every sweet word he’s ever said to me. I’ve cried so much I could possibly be dehydrated. That smile that lights up his face when he would see me, the way his eyes would soften when I spoke, the way he had to have me close, it’s gone. I’ll never experience the joy on his face when he watches his daughters. I’ll miss out on them growing up and it makes the pain so much worse. I love them too.
“McKinley?”
I groan as I climb out of bed, slipping on my robe. The door to the trailer slams closed and I lean against the doorway of my tiny room.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
She tilts her head and smiles. “Is that any way to talk to your mama?”
“Yes, Mama it is. I learned a lot of things the last few months and one of them was what a good parent is. A good parent doesn’t put themselves first. They are willing to give up everything for their children. They are happy just to spend time with their children. A good parent doesn’t make their child feel like they are the reason for everything bad that happens. A good parent helps their child, they don’t tell them they are reaching too high.” I shake my head when she sits down, picking at her nails. She doesn’t give a shit what I have to say. She never did. “What do you want Mama?”
She looks up at me and frowns. “I wanted to see if you were alright?”
I groan grabbing a water off the counter. “Seriously, what are you doing here?”
“I’m a little short on cash and I know you said you were making good money. How about loaning me some cash?” she asks.
Without saying a word, I walk back into the bedroom and try to slam the bifold door. It nearly falls off so I yell out my frustration and throw my water bottle. I hate this town. I hate this trailer. I hate my mother. She always takes and never gives. She doesn’t care about me, never has.
“I’ll come back,” she yells, letting the door slam against the trailer.
My tears begin again. I saw firsthand what it was like to be loved by your mother and your father. Braden and Kallie’s mom is the perfect example. Her eyes smile when she’s around her children. She loves and respects them, and they love and respect her. Which is why Braden is such an amazing father. He learned from the best.
There’s a knock on the door and I pull at my hair. She’s not going to give up until I give her money or get the fuck out of here. I ignore her while I get dressed. She knocks again and I ignore it while I grab another water. She knocks again and I run over to the door.
“Mama, go the fuck home.” I freeze and step back. “Braden?”
I stare at him and shame washes over me. He now knows everything. He knows this shitty town, this rusted trailer, and that I lied. Yet, he’s still standing there watching me.
“What are you doing here? How did you find me?” I whisper.
“I got in touch with your mother because I need to talk to you,” he says.
“You talked to my mother?” I ask, covering my face.
“She’s lovely,” he says.
I remove my hands and lift my eyebrow. “You’re full of shit.”
He smirks, nodding. “Oh yeah, I totally am. Can I come in?”
I look behind me and blow out a breath. No more hiding. “Yeah,” I say, pushing the screen door open.
When he steps inside, he doesn’t even look around. He keeps his focus on me. I look down at the crappy floor before lifting my watery eyes to him. “I’m sorry, Braden.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance to talk. I’d like to hear you out now,” he says.
I wring my hands together and bite my lip. “I did come out to California to meet Blake and get in with him, Jax, and Kallie. But, within the first few days, I knew I walked into something so much more than I was expecting. I didn’t know how close everyone was. I didn’t realize the love and support you all had. Once I not only saw it but felt it, I didn’t want to be there for any other reason. I wanted to be a part of something bigger than modeling or wealth. I wanted to be a part of a huge extended family. And I was. You all accepted me without question, and it changed me. But nothing changed me as much as you. When I first saw you, I wanted you, but when I got to know you, I realized I needed you. Once I had you, I fell in love with you. I never had any intentions of hurting you or anyone else. I didn’t tell you why I came because it didn’t matter anymore. It wasn’t the reason I was there. I was there because I found family, acceptance, and the love of my life.”
The tears are running down my face as my eyes bounce between his. I want him to hold his arms open and hold me close. I want
