I roll over, so I’m facing him as he goes to get in.
He gets into the bed beside me and leans forward and brushes his lips over mine again. “That was amazing,” he says quietly.
“You were amazing.” I smile.
He puts his arm around my waist, pulling me closer and I snuggle against him, putting my arm around his waist. We lay that way, looking into each other’s eyes, searching each other’s faces.
My limbs are like jelly and my body feels heavier than it should, but it’s a nice sort of heavy. The sort that makes you want to close your eyes and float away on a cloud. I let my eyes close for a moment and then I open them again. I don’t want to fall asleep. Not yet. I want to make the most of the time we have together.
Chance’s eyes are closed and he’s breathing deep and even.
I guess I wore him out I think to myself with a smile. I lean in and kiss him gently on the lips.
He mumbles something I can’t make out and pulls me closer.
I watch him sleep for a few minutes, wanting to remember this moment, to remember what he looks like when he lets his softer side show. I know this is the last time we can be together, but I also know I won’t be able to stop myself from revisiting this moment time and time again.
I finally let sleep take me… I dream that Chance and I are living a different life. A life that allows us to be together like this for always. A single tear runs down my face as I fall into a deeper sleep, one where dreams don’t follow me.
Chapter Eighteen
Chance
I feel kind of strange today. It’s Monday. I’m back at work and everything should be back to normal. The wedding festivities are over and it’s definitely back to business as usual here. That would normally make me happy.
When we flew out to Vegas for Sebastian’s stag party, I was looking forward to this day; it couldn’t come soon enough for me. The thought of getting back into the swing of work was something I could hardly wait for. So, I figured it would be looking forward to today that would get me through Vegas and the wedding.
But now it’s here and it’s anticlimactic in many ways. Nothing fell apart because I was missing for the best part of a week. No clients fell through the cracks. I don’t have a list of angry calls to return, an inbox full of complaints. Instead, I have my normal tasks to do. I know I should be happy about that, but this is the first time I’ve taken any work time off since I joined the company, so I kind of expected to be missed in some way.
On a rational level, I know it’s a good thing. It means my team is dedicated and good at what they do. But on a less rational level, it makes me feel like I’m not really needed here, that I’m not as essential to my area of the business as I thought I was. I know what my father would say to that… he’d tell me that the fact everything went according to plan while I wasn’t here is why I’m essential to the business. He would say it means I have a good eye for building a team and that they have my back, even when I’m not there. I try to take comfort in this, but it’s still a weird feeling.
But none of that stuff is what’s really throwing me off and making me feel strange. I feel that way because a big part of me misses the freedom of not being tied to my desk. Of being able to switch off and actually forget about work for a time. It’s not the reaction I was expecting at all, and I don’t know quite what to make of it or what to do with it.
And of course, there’s Sierra. She’s the real reason I’m feeling so off kilter.
As much as I’m trying to convince myself what happened in Vegas will stay there, and by our mutual agreement, what happened at Moorfield Manor was an extension of that, I find my mind wandering back there. I find myself thinking about Sierra in my arms, about her coming hard, shouting my name. And it’s not just the sex that lingers. I find myself thinking about her laugh, about the way her eyes would sparkle when she teases me. And I keep thinking about how when we were together, I was lighter. Happier.
But I have to forget about that and move on. We both agreed nothing can happen between us again, and I need to stick to that. I don’t want to become one of those lecherous bosses that sees his assistant and pictures her naked. I have to get back into the swing of things here and find the happiness I always got from my work again. Surely, a few fun days can’t change my whole outlook on life. I’ve always been about the job and I’ve always liked that about myself. I just need a day or two to get back into it.
I nod to myself. That’s the only way I can start to feel normal again. I have to forget about the last few days and get back into gear.
I check the time. I have a meeting in ten minutes, but I can’t for the life of me remember who it’s with. I pick up my desk phone and hold it in my hand for a minute. Sierra will know who the meeting is with. She’ll have all of the files and everything I need
