“I am the father in this family. I am the head of our House… Yet, I was unable to fix anything for your mother, your siblings, for myself, but most importantly, I failed to help you.”
Katryna broke down crying again. The image of her brother’s lifeless eyes flashed into her mind. What she had done, what she had caused. Did she deserve all that had happened to her? Did she deserved to be married off to a stranger against her will?
She could only cry.
Giliam licked his lips and did not break eye contact with his weeping daughter. He used every ounce of strength he had left to keep himself sitting up and speaking.
Giliam had words he needed Katryna to hear.
“What happened to Willem was… a tragedy. The worst sort of thing for a family to suffer. No child should have to transcend before their parents. If life were fair, it would always be the other way around… always. But alas, my child, life is unfair.
“I need you to trust me when I say that… it was an accident. You know that, and I know that. You were a child, and a child bears no responsibility in the death of their brother in such a way.”
Katryna burst out crying. The words from her father’s lips were so unexpected, yet somehow exactly what she needed to hear.
Giliam reached out and wiped a tear from his daughter’s cheek.
“We react to grief in different ways,” he continued. He spoke slowly yet deliberately, ushering a breath between every few words. “I buried mine by ignoring the pain. I led our House as best I could, I continued to rule this kingdom the best way I knew how... Your mother directed her grief towards you, and that was wrong of her to do… I should not have allowed her to… chastise you how she did...
“You ran away from your grief because that was what you needed to do… That was your decision to make. There is no one correct way to deal with what we have had to deal with, Katryna.”
Katryna shook her head, unsure if she could believe what she was hearing. Yet, she could feel the burden she had been carrying around all these years lifting off her shoulders ever so slightly.
“I hate that you and your mother were… unable to make amends before her death,” Giliam whimpered.
Giliam was getting more emotional by the moment. In her entire life, Katryna had only ever seen him cry once, when Willem had passed. This was the second time.
“I hate it, too. All this time, I spent running. I ran because I could not take the burden of my actions any longer,” Katryna said. “Mother’s spiteful words, Rowan’s judgement. Most of our family hate me for what I did. I ran because I could not take their sinister words and hateful glares any longer. What kind of Bower runs from such a thing?”
“You are Katryna Bower… You are my daughter… You have always been my daughter, and you always will be my daughter… What happened to Willem was an accident, for which I do not blame you in the slightest.”
Katryna’s mind went back to that day. That horrible day. Her and her twin brother Willem, ten years of age. Swimming in Pott’s Creek.
The bloodied water, her mother’s wails. Willem’s dead eyes.
“But father,” Katryna began, shaking her head vigorously from side to side. “It was my fault. It was all my idea. To run away when we weren’t supposed to, to go swimming in the creek. It was my fault, and if it weren’t for me, Willem would still be alive.”
She had never told him that before. She had never told anyone before.
Katryna had lived with the fact that racing to Pott’s Creek was her idea, and ultimately it was what had killed Willem.
She shut her eyes firmly, expecting to be scolded and cursed by her father.
“Did you drown your brother?” Giliam asked gently. “Did you force his head under the surface, or water down his throat?”
Katryna shook her head. I never ever wanted him dead. I loved my brother.
“You did not kill Willem. The Creator chose him to transcend, and take him away, he did... You must stop running away from your pain, Katryna. It will be your downfall.”
Katryna leant over her father. The two held each other tightly in a long-awaited embrace.
“All this time, I thought you resented me for Willem’s death. He was to be the next king, and I have felt that my actions have caused the destruction of our House,” Katryna said.
“Your brother Rowan will be the king of Camridia once I pass, as the law dictates,” Giliam said.
Giliam began having another coughing fit, this time hunching over in pain. Katryna spotted drops of blood flying out of his mouth and onto his sheets with every sputter. She poured water into his mouth once again.
Giliam rested back against his sweat-filled pillows. “I know you hold a lot of resent towards Rowan, Aunt Helen and Uncle Hectar for how they have treated you throughout your life… and for casting you out like they did. But I urge you, now of all times… seek reconciliation with our family. You are… you are my eldest child… and I need your word that you will help keep our House strong.”
Giliam wiped blood from his mouth as he coughed again.
A whirlwind of thoughts ran through Katryna’s head. Finn and Aunt Rashel have already asked me to seek peace with my family. And now father. If this is his dying wish, who am I to say ‘no’?
“I
