But, without her, it hadn’t been enough.
Guilt and self-disgust crushed him into the mattress.
Addie was so sweet, innocent, and good. She was also his employer and he needed this job. Maybe he could find another somewhere else, but damn him if he wanted to.
In a few short days, he’d settled into this place like home, onto a farm and with a woman who didn’t belong to him and never would. His heart was gone and had no capacity to open up or give again. That had been stolen from him by those who should’ve loved him. Who had said they did, even as they broke him into tiny pieces.
You’re my brother, Cade, and I love you, but she doesn’t want you. Not anymore.
Those words still stung.
Muttering a curse, Cade rolled over and sat on the edge of the bed. He snatched the gray T-shirt he’d worn earlier from the floor and wiped himself clean, then tossed it onto the small pile of clothes he needed to wash. He raked his hands through his hair then dropped them to his knees, cursing again. He had no business fantasizing about Addie Malory, especially when he had nothing to offer.
Pushing to his feet, he crossed to the door and opened it slowly. He stepped into the dark hallway and through it to his assigned bathroom. Addie’s room was on the other side of the house, behind a locked door, so he wasn’t worried about waking her. He needed another shower to wash away the sweat and self-loathing that coated his skin. A cold one.
Half an hour later, his body clean but his mind still seething, Cade crawled back into bed. He rubbed at his chest, trying to relieve the tightness and hurt that never seemed to leave.
Except when he was with her.
He shook his head. He barely knew Addie, for God’s sake. Plus, he had no intention of staying once he got his truck running again and he knew she would be okay without his help. He shouldn’t be feeling this insistent need to seek her out. But telling himself that didn’t change anything. The turmoil in his soul calmed when he was with Addie. She soothed him and made him want things he could never have and had no right to desire.
He had nothing. He was nothing. There was no way a woman like Addie could care for a broken, unlovable man like him.
He’d learned that the hard way.
Chapter 7
Addie stepped out of her front door, and tucking her work gloves into her back pocket, she took a deep breath of the fresh September air. The sun’s rays were only a hint on the horizon, leaving the dooryard still draped in shadows as she made her way to the barn. The chilly morning air reminded her again that summer was over. The fall winds would pick up any day now, and snow would soon follow.
Grateful they were finally getting to the last hay harvest of the year, she had a little bounce in her step. She’d done fairly well for herself with the farm. Despite her first questionable choices in employees, her stock of hay should earn a small profit and the corn would improve on that. At least, she hoped so.
With the way she’d been spending lately, her finances had taken a big hit and the harvest income would go a long way to diminishing the losses. Good thing she still had a day job. If she didn’t, she would’ve been in a bind when Cade discovered the damaged equipment yesterday.
After breakfast the day before, she’d grabbed her laptop and set up at her dining room table to put the finishing touches on the three major articles she’d been working on for the last week and to write a couple of chapters in the new book she’d started. She’d been neck-deep in her writing when Cade had come through the garage door.
“Hey, it’s a little early for lunch,” she’d said with a friendly smile.
The way his mouth had been pressed into a hard line and he’d shaken his head alarmed her.
Frowning, she had sat up a little straighter. “What’s wrong?”
“There’s a problem with the tractor.” He held up two cords. She looked at them, uncomprehending his point, but then saw that the cables he held in each hand were once one line.
Her chest tightened. “What about the other equipment? Were they damaged, too?”
“The baler trailer is okay, but the combine’s engine belts are missing and one rear tire is flat.”
She slumped back in her chair. They couldn’t bring in the crops without the tractor or the combine, and she needed that harvest. “Was the tire damaged?”
He nodded. “I don’t know how he did it—”
“He?”
“Yeah, that guy you fired, what was his name…?”
“Ted… But we can’t be sure it was him.”
“No, but it makes sense. He’s got an axe to grind with you.”
Addie nodded. “I suppose.”
“In any case, I don’t know how they accomplished it, whoever they were, but there’s a big hole in the sidewall of the combine’s tire.”
“Damn,” she murmured.
“There might be more wrong with the combine once I really get into it, but right now, the tractor seems to be the worst of it all.”
“How many lines were cut?” she asked, calculating how much more of her savings she’d have to part with.
“All of them,” he replied. “The tractor ain’t going anywhere for a while.”
She groaned and silently cursed. “Can you fix it?”
“With new parts? Yeah, I can fix it, no problem, but it’ll take a while.” He cocked his head. “Has anything like this happened before?”
She pressed her lips together and nodded. “One of the tractor’s tires was deflated about three months ago, right before the last harvest. I thought it was just some kids messing around.”
“That doesn’t seem to be the case anymore,” he
