“I was engaged once,” she said quietly, her fingers absently tracing circles on his chest.
“And?” he asked when her words fizzled out.
“He died.”
Cade’s body tensed before he shifted onto his side and rolled her to face him. Concern filled his gaze as he brushed her hair back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know…”
She shrugged. “Not very many people do. And you don’t need to be sorry. It was a while ago now. I’ve healed, moved on.”
“But you haven’t dated.” Something curious filled his tone, a question that he didn’t articulate.
“I have, a little,” she replied, “but my choices haven’t been the best of late. There were a couple others before I moved here, but they didn’t really interest me, and Mark—You remember him…the cop?” Cade nodded, his eyes darkening with memory. “I think I was just going through the motions at first, trying to find my feet again. You know?”
He nodded, but something like doubt shimmered in his eyes. “So…have you? Found your feet again, I mean?”
She cupped his face in her hands. “You are not just a fling to me, Cade. There’s something important between us and I’ve long since gotten over Jared’s death.”
His eyes changed, brightened, grew less wary. “Jared. Was that his name?”
“Yes.” She dropped her hands to his chest.
“What happened to him, if you don’t mind me asking.”
She smiled sadly. “He loved danger and would do anything to chase that rush. At least, in the end, that’s how it was. In the beginning, it was just skiing or snowboarding off the main slopes. That quickly grew into other things. Scuba diving, boxing, hunting, surfing, skydiving, base jumping… He even said he wanted to try bull riding.”
“Is that what killed him?”
She looked up at Cade’s quiet question and then remembered that he had been bronc riding for the last couple of years. She shook her head. “No, he ended up street racing with motorcycles. Said he eventually wanted to do it professionally, win that crazy 300 mile-an-hour race on the Isle of Man.
“He’d been riding all his life. He was good at it, but he pushed too hard too fast and made one little mistake that ended up with him slamming into a brick wall. He died instantly.”
“Oh God, Addie, I’m so sorry,” Cade said again, pulling her against him and wrapping his arms around her.
She hugged him back, sadness banding her chest. “I’m okay, Cade. It’s just a sad ending. Jared was a great person, full of life and energy. I think that’s what attracted me to him, at least, at first. Part of me wishes I’d have been more adamant about him letting go of his daredevil side. Maybe he’d still be alive.”
Cade pulled back and caught her eyes. “He wouldn’t have it let go. From what you’ve said, he loved the thrill too much to stop. It wasn’t your fault, Addie. He made his decision.”
“I know,” she said softly, mourning the loss of such a vibrant life, but not the relationship that would have never lasted. She knew that now. “It’s just…sad.”
“Yes,” Cade replied, “it is.”
He cupped her face and she turned into his palm, enjoying the rough scrape of his calloused hand on her cheek.
“I’m not like that, you know,” Cade said and her eyes sought his.
She smiled. That he’d want to separate his jaunt into rodeo from the kind of life Jared had chosen for himself touched her heart. “I know that, too.”
The tightness around his eyes eased a little bit.
“Do you miss him?” Cade’s voice held a strangled note.
“Sometimes.”
Cade dropped his gaze and nodded. She lifted his chin with her fingers and looked into his eyes.
“But not the way you think,” she said. “Jared and I wouldn’t have worked. He wanted things I didn’t. We argued about his insane thrill-seeking more than once, but, like you said, he didn’t want to give it up. I wouldn’t have been able to live like that for long. I miss my friend Jared, but I don’t know that I ever really loved him. Not the way he deserved to be loved.” She chuckled sadly. “He needed someone much stronger than me.”
“You are strong, Addie,” Cade said. “Stronger than most everyone I’ve ever met. I’ve known guys who loved to live on the edge, just like Jared. Bull riders and the like. It takes a special kind of crazy to do those things…and another kind to put up with them.” He grinned and threaded his fingers through her hair before brushing his thumb over her cheek. “You’re not crazy, just smart.”
“There you go with the compliments again.”
“And you promised to believe me.”
“I did, didn’t I? Well, you know what that means.”
His grin brought light back into his eyes. “No, what does that mean?”
Her lips curled impishly and she gave him her most sultry look while sliding her hand down his chest and over his belly. Her fingers found the velvet flesh of his manhood and stroked him gently. “You need to accept a little more affection, and I’ll have to show you just how much you deserve.”
Smile broadening, he closed his eyes, inhaled deeply, and allowed her to push him onto his back. By the time she’d kissed her way down his strong body to tease his belly and thighs with her tongue, he was hard and panting and ready. Addie was more than happy to oblige. She took him into her mouth and he moaned, hips flexing as his fingers slid into her hair. Savoring his salty flavor and the soft texture of his skin, wanting to make this as good for him as she possibly could, she bobbed her head, took him deep, and proceeded to show him how much affection he truly deserved.
Chapter 16
Two days later, Cade put the last of the dry goods into the truck bed and closed the tailgate. Thanking the clerk who’d helped him ferry the items out of the store, he rounded the truck to
