They were only a few miles from the home Cade had left behind all those years ago, thinking never to return. Based on everything Cade had told her about the old place, Addie tried to imagine what it looked like. She envisioned a smallish two-story house with a barn and horse corral, the brothers working together, and Sunday dinners with the three of them and their friends. Was it too much to hope for more? For the children she’d always wanted but never dared to hope for? What if things didn’t go well? What if Cade and Cord couldn’t work together again, and worse, what if one or the other couldn’t stand to live with her anymore? Her mouth went dry at that thought, but she pushed those dark possibilities aside. She was nervous about this, but she was also excited, and she could tell Cade was too as he jogged back to the truck and jumped in.
His infectious grin was a mile wide when he looked over at her, his eyes sparkling with excitement and happiness. “You ready?”
She nodded. “Yep, I can’t wait to see it.”
He glanced at her bouncing knee and reached over to place his hand on it, stilling its anxious motion. “You okay?” he asked, worry deepening the lines around his eyes as he studied her face.
“I’m fine,” she said squeezing his hand. “Just nervous.”
“Why?”
She could read what he was thinking all over his face. He’d pushed her into this, made her leave the home she’d wanted to keep, and she blamed him for it.
None of that was true, of course, but he worried about it and her anyway.
“It’s just something new,” she told him. “I’m looking forward to seeing your brother again and getting the tour of the house and property you promised me. I can’t wait to see where you grew up.”
“Are you sure you don’t regret this?” His voice held a note of trepidation.
“Yes, I’m sure.” She patted his hand and then, lifting it to her lips, she kissed his knuckles. “I’m exactly where I want to be.”
He released a long sigh. “I’m glad to hear that.”
“I’ll say it as often as you need, but you should believe me by now.”
He nodded and smiled again, but said no more as he pulled back his hand and started her truck. As the new snow tires churned through the snow and ice on the roadway, Addie thought back on the last week.
She had made her decision on the floor of her dining room the day they returned to her house. Afraid she’d made a rash decision, Cade had asked her to think about it a little more before they did something she might regret.
Though she didn’t need to consider it any further, she’d followed his advice and thought about it during the first couple of days they’d spent staying with Helga and Dan. She’d also spent those nights alone because she still jumped at his touch or any little sound. She’d known Cade had wanted to stay with her, to hold her and nothing more, but he also hadn’t wanted to rush into any physical intimacy she wasn’t ready for, and she hadn’t argued.
“You know where I am if you need me,” he’d said the first night before he kissed her forehead and left the room for his own. Sleeping that night had been next to impossible, and she’d berated herself repeatedly for her weakness all the next day.
By midnight of the second night, she was tired of thinking about everything, tired of being afraid and alone, and just plain tired. She missed Cade’s warmth and his solid strength beside her, and she’d made up her mind not to deny herself his company in her bed any longer.
Rolling out from beneath her blankets, she’d crept through Dan and Helga’s darkened home, terrified of the darkness and angry with herself for the absurd emotion. The door to Cade’s room had squeaked as she pushed it open and the sound swept an icicle of fear down her back.
You are fine, she had told herself. Everyone’s asleep and Cade is only a few feet away. No one else is around.
Giving herself a little shake, she had stepped inside and closed the door behind her. Tiptoeing across the cold hardwood floor to the rug beside the bed, she’d held her breath, trying to figure out what to say when she woke him, but when she reached his side, she saw his white-toothed grin flash in the darkness.
“You couldn’t resist me anymore, huh?” he’d teased and slowly reached for her hand.
She shrugged, but didn’t pull away when his fingers entwined with hers.
“Would you like to stay?” His deep, sleepy voice had sounded far more serious with that question.
She tried to make out his expression, but it had been too dark to see much detail. “Would you like me to?” she’d asked, attempting to lighten the heaviness that had been pressing down on her for days.
“You know I would,” he said softly, giving her hand a playful little tug, “but it’s up to you. If you’re ready, I’m waiting.”
The air thickened and her breath stalled in her lungs.
He seemed to sense her fear because he spoke again. “I’ll wait forever if you need me to, Addie, but I think we’d both be happier if we were together. You know I’d never hurt you, and that I’ll always protect you. Right?”
Her chest had constricted at the uncertainty in his question. He loved her, he’d said it, and she’d refused to allow him into her bed. The sadness she remembered in his eyes the night before crushed her. She’d been cruel to deny him. He’d been hurt and afraid too, but he hadn’t turned away from her. He’d opened his heart and given her everything.
“Addie…?” he had called when she didn’t respond.
“Yes,” she said in a breathless whisper, “I do know that, and I love you all the more for it.”
He’d inhaled sharply at her words, but Addie had already
