The sound was that of slithering feet and of some heavy object being dragged along. Once, he fell and went rolling back down to the bottom, he could have been killed, What’s that he’s carrying on his back, It’s a barrel, the owners of both barrel and lackey use the barrel as their target, But I thought slavery had been abolished, That’s what you think, How can a man submit to such a thing, Ask him, Oh, I will, excuse me, friend, what is that you’re carrying on your back, It’s a barrel, But it’s full of holes, you couldn’t use it to store water or other liquids, or are you going to fill it up with stones, It serves as a target for my masters Alberto and Angilberto, they shoot at the barrel and I go and find it to check the number of hits, and then I put it back in the same place until it’s so full of holes, it’s like a sieve, at which point I fetch a new one, And you submit to their orders. The world suddenly becomes unfit for conversation, with Alberto and Angilberto on the far side of the valley shouting, impatient at the lackey’s delay, it’s getting late, they’re saying, and we’ve still got two boxes of bullets left, and the poor slave trots across the valley and over the bridge, the barrel is like a huge rust-red hump, and now, as he climbs the hill on the far side, he looks more like a beetle than a man, So, do you still believe slavery was abolished, It seems impossible, And what do you know about impossibilities, Oh, I’m beginning to learn, Let me tell you about another impossibility, over there, on the right bank of the stream, beyond the viaduct, are some fields that extend as far as the foot of the hills, do you see, fine, well, those same marksmen sold that land to some small farmers, and if they had been decent, honorable men, as they should have been, they would have included the stream in the sale, but no, they kept back the ten or twenty meters of land that bordered the stream, so if the farmers wanted water, they had to dig wells, what do you say to that, Again, it seems impossible, Yes, it does, doesn’t it, it would be like me refusing you a drink of water when you were thirsty, and telling you, if you want water, then dig a well with your bare hands, while I empty my glass and amuse myself watching the water flow, So a dog could go and drink from the stream, but not the farmers, Ah, now you’re beginning to understand, look, there’s another lackey bringing a new barrel, Your masters are obviously good shots, Yes, sir, but they wanted to know who you are, and when I said I didn’t know, they said that if you don’t leave right now, they’ll call the guards. The two walkers withdrew, the threat had its effect and the argument a certain authority, trespassing on private property, even when it isn’t fenced off, would be taken very seriously indeed, especially if the guards happened to be in a bad mood, there would be no point explaining to them that they didn’t know the boundaries, in fact, given that there’s no right of way here, they were very lucky not to get shot, Just pretend it was a stray bullet, Alberto, those two were asking for it anyway.
But there are times when one would be perfectly justified in roaring with laughter at what happens on the latifundio, if, that is, we were in the mood for some fun, but I’m not sure it would be worthwhile, we’re so used to laughter turning into tears or a howl of rage so loud it could be heard in heaven, not that there is any bloody heaven, Father Agamedes is more easily accessible, and he never hears or else pretends that he doesn’t, yes, a howl that would be heard throughout the earth, although I wonder if it would be heard and if anyone would come to our aid, unless, of course, the reason they couldn’t hear us was because they were shouting so loudly themselves. Let’s tell one such story, and laugh if you can, especially since that is what the guards are for, not to be laughed at, heaven forfend, but to be summoned and dispatched, and although it’s usually the governor or some other official who does the summoning and dispatching, the latifundio has a great deal of power and authority over them as well, as you will see in this excellent tale involving Adalberto, a shepherd, his two assistants, three dogs, six hundred sheep, a jeep and a patrol of republican guards, rather than a whole squadron, that would be excessive, shoulder arms, quick march.
These sheep have strayed. They are on land belonging to Berto and are heading for more land belonging to Berto, well, that’s a generalization and not entirely true, because while the lands do belong to Adalberto, en route the sheep will pass through Norberto’s lands, and as they pass, they graze, because sheep aren’t like a pack of dogs you can muzzle, and even if this were practicable and the sheep allowed it, the shepherd would never do it, it wouldn’t be worth the fuss, but one should perhaps add another hypothesis, in situations where the shepherd has no real excuse for traveling from one man’s property to another, he could claim to have become disoriented and to have crossed the boundary accidentally, for the real skill lies in taking advantage of those vague boundaries, making any such incursion seem purely accidental and putting on an air of wounded
