“You need to think clearly,” he said.
I figured he deserved a break, even if I didn’t. And he was right, unless a tip came through, there wasn’t anything we could do. We had looked in every possible hiding location and by now, we’d run out of ideas. Elsie could’ve been anywhere in New York. In fact, they might’ve already taken her out of the state and we’d be none-the-wiser.
So we walked into the bar together. I didn’t notice the people or the music. The only thing I focused on was getting a few drinks in my system and then getting back out there on the streets. As of now, I didn’t have a plan, but I’d spend the rest of my days looking for Elsie if I had to.
I blamed myself for letting her get away. For putting her in that vulnerable position.
Nolan ordered a couple of rounds of beer and we sat at the bar. He noticed I wasn’t speaking much.
“You all right?” he asked.
“I just want to find her and then I’ll be fine.”
He nodded, like he understood—but I doubted he did.
“I didn’t realize you actually care about her,” he said.
This wasn’t a conversation I ever had thought I’d have with anybody. Least of all, with my baby brother.
“She wasn’t the girl I expected to see,” I said.
Nolan asked me about Christie and if I’d gone to see her. I told him I had. I decided to be honest with him about everything that’d happened today.
“What were you expecting?”
“A pretty blonde girl who blushes when I look at her, I guess. I don’t know.”
“Well, she’s obviously grown up!”
“But there’s no trace of the chick I fell for eleven years ago. It was all a lie. She told me they trained her on what to say and how to behave with me, what to wear, how to do her hair. Every fuckin’ thing.”
I emptied the beer down my throat, waiting for Nolan to say something.
“Sounds to me like a very well executed plan.”
“Yeah I fell for it. I was an easy target.”
“Yeah you were, because you were a kid. It could’ve happened to any of us, they just happened to choose you out of everyone else in the family. And it’s not something they could do to you now as an adult.”
“I have allowed Christie to dominate everything in my life. I knew it wasn’t real love. I knew at the back of my head I was just being a naive kid. But I compared everyone to her. Every chick was compared to Christie, and I’d never trust anyone.”
“Until you met Elsie.”
“I didn’t want to trust her.”
“But now you do.” Nolan smiled.
I knew I did, even if I didn’t admit it out loud. The thought of Elsie being kidnapped by Aldo made me angry.
“I think she gave up on me,” I said.
“What are you talking about?”
“She repeatedly tried to get through to me. Right from when we first met. I was hot and cold with her. I guess I made her feel like I had no reason to trust her. That I’d never trust her no matter how hard she tried.”
“You guys haven’t known each other very long.”
“But given the circumstances, every hour feels like a year. We’ve been living together, and I know she’s lived in fear of Aldo. More importantly, she’ll be scarred for a lifetime because of what she witnessed. Her parents getting shot.”
“That must’ve been rough. Everyone else seemed to like her and trust her.”
“But they’re not willing to help me find her now.”
“They’ll come around eventually. You know how the Dohertys are. They start off by trusting nobody. Her sudden disappearance just makes them assume she’s running away from us.”
I said nothing to that. I was still fuming over the way Killian, my dad and the others reacted.
“She saved Davey, for fuck’s sake. Our nephew. We don’t know what Aldo would’ve done if Davey spent any more time as his prisoner. The least we can do for Elsie now is save her life,” I said.
“I know that,” Nolan replied, nodding his head.
I believed my brother genuinely wanted to help me find Elsie, but there wasn’t anything either of us could do at this point.
We sat there, drinking and stewing in the silences between us. Thankfully, Nolan gave me the space I needed while I fumed with anger and frustration. I had many regrets at this point. There were so many things I wished I’d done differently.
I never should’ve left Elsie today. Not when I knew she felt especially vulnerable.
I shouldn’t have prioritized Christie and I vowed I’d never do it again. If I could find Elsie now, I’d never let her go.
I checked my phone every few minutes, hoping there’d be some message or a phone call from somebody. With any leads.
If Aldo got his hands on her today, he wasn’t going to make it easy to find her. He’d make her pay for all the ways in which she betrayed him. I hated the thought of that.
When Killian and Colin showed up at the bar, I knew they’d texted with Nolan. How else would they’ve found us at this random spot?
“What do you guys want?” I growled at them.
I wasn’t going to forgive them easily for not being enthusiastic about finding Elsie.
“We wanted to check in on you, see if you’ve made any progress,” Colin said. Killian still looked like his usual broody self.
“Do you actually give a shit?” I snapped.
Colin glanced at Killian, and I sensed the two of them had talked.
“We went to see Brendan. Specifically, we went to see his kid. Davey. We wanted to know if he’d give us any insight on Elsie,” Killian replied.
I shifted in my chair. It had piqued my interest now. Why hadn’t I thought of talking to the kid? Elsie had spent a significant amount of time with him. He had trusted her.
“He only has good things to say
