“Really?”
She smiled and ran a hand down my face. “Of course.”
“You and Maverick will be okay?”
“Yes!” She laughed a little. “We’ve weathered far worse than this, Lizzy. Of course, you were gone so soon, at seventeen, you missed a lot of it. Ask Ellie,” she said wryly. “This is nothing.”
“Can relationships recover from difficult times?”
The question sounded so innocent and silly coming from a twenty-one-year-old, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t know. I wanted to know.
Bethany cupped her palm on my cheek. “The bad days make the good ones that much better. It’s all part of the balance, Lizzy. It can never be all good.”
32 JJ
My windshield wipers attacked the gently falling snow every ten seconds as I waited for the Zombie Mobile to warm up in the parking lot of the grocery store. A bag of groceries sat at my side. Mostly food coloring and novelties. I didn’t really need them, but I couldn’t handle the quiet of Adventura any longer.
After Lizbeth’s departure, I’d been fortunate to land a surprising number of catering contracts, mostly for upcoming Christmas parties. When I wasn’t in the kitchen, I lived on the snowy mountain. It soothed something inside me.
But riled all the rest of me up.
Every attempt to trace what had happened between me and Lizbeth failed. It had unfolded so fast I couldn’t help but wonder if she was reeling in the aftermath too. Her attentiveness, zest for life, and expressive face had utterly destroyed me. My attraction to Stacey had felt nothing like this. In comparison, it was desperate. Lonely. Contrived.
But Lizbeth was real. She was hope. Light. Brightness.
Lost in my thoughts, I blinked when my ringing phone caught my attention. Megan’s name flashed across the screen right before I picked it up.
“Hey,” I said, relieved to talk to my sister.
“Are you brooding?”
I leaned back against the headrest and rolled my eyes. “I don’t brood.”
“Then you wallow. You must be wallowing. Mark said you’ve been an utter recluse. He’s starting to get so lonely he’s talking about a business idea with horses. JJ, you have to stop this. Mark on a horse? The world can’t take it.”
“Meg, what’s the most romantic thing that Justin has ever done for you?”
If the question took her by surprise, she didn’t reveal it. Instead, she responded as if she’d been waiting for me to ask. “He lifts weights with me.”
“That was fast.”
“It was an easy question.”
I frowned. “Really? Weights?”
“Yeah.”
“And you think that’s romantic?”
“It’s very romantic,” Megan said. “It matters to me. It’s . . . a connecting point. Time together. We both enjoy it, and then we get protein smoothies afterward. Health and boyfriend? The best.”
“That’s weird.”
“You’re weird.”
That seemed fair. “Thanks,” I said. “I was just curious. You doing all right, Meg? Justin’s been gone a lot this winter. Now I know why he’s all buffed out.”
“I’m doing great. Debts are coming down, work is good, and Justin is better.”
I scoffed. “Yeah, well, he’s hogging you. We haven’t gotten to see you enough.”
She laughed. “I was calling to check on you. Mark told me about Lizbeth.”
With a sigh, I said, “Don’t use that tone.”
“I didn’t use a tone.”
“That tone. The self-righteous one that suggests you know me better than I know myself.”
“I definitely do, even if you’re sort of enlightened.”
“I’m not enlightened.”
Megan sighed, and I felt a stab of guilt for making this hard on her. “I’m sorry about Lizbeth, JJ. It sounds like she’s having a hard time. I’m sure you really miss her.”
My throat worked as I swallowed. I did miss her. Like air, actually, and I hated that. Hated that segments from her stupid romance novels were coming to life in my world. Hated that something inside me had actually started to believe in her idea that love and romance are a force for good in the world.
Because she had been a force for good in mine. Everything I’d read about in those romance books had been utterly true. Tingles on my skin. Feeling breathless when she smiled. The desire to just be near her, even if we didn’t speak.
“Yeah, I really do miss her,” I said quietly.
“And I will concede that I used the tone, but it was appropriately placed,” she said. “Now, spill. How are you really?”
My fist tightened around the steering wheel. “Angry.”
“Good.”
“Good?”
“At least you’re saying it. With Stacey, you just went totally quiet. Mark said you didn’t talk for almost a week. We had no idea what was going on in your brain.”
“Stacey was more of an embarrassment than anything. While I was definitely sad, I can look back and see all the signs there.”
“And Lizbeth broke your heart?”
“You know I hate that phrase.”
“I know.” She sighed. “But sometimes it’s best to state the truth explicitly like that.”
A gust of wind slammed into the Zombie Mobile, and I closed my eyes. “Maybe you’re right.”
“Sounds like she’s trying to find the middle. Lizbeth has lived in both extremes. She grew up with the utter depravity of love that’s used to manipulate. So she wove a different world, equally wrong but mentally safer. She used romance to feel safe. She’s trying to land somewhere in the middle, I think. Her ideas on romance were a little naive, J. She’s even told me about them when I’ve gotten coffee. You have to know that.”
“Well, yes.”
“This is her path. Let her be on it,” Megan said. “Sometimes, the most romantic thing you can do is just be her friend and give her time.”
“What if that’s not enough?” My fingers tightened on my phone. “What if she sees this stupid plan through and doesn’t ever come back? Doesn’t ever date anyone?”
“She might.”
“What if she’s never ready?” I asked.
“That’s the gamble of love. Be there for her, JJ. She’s gone through a lot. I’m willing to bet she comes through.”
All my hopes of Megan finding a way to fix this deflated like a
