“I ran out of flannel.”
She snorted. I motioned to their car, then started to walk toward Adventura again. “So, to what do we owe the pleasure?” I asked. Stella followed to my right, a step behind, while JJ and Lizbeth fanned out on the other side.
“I have updates on your website and HomeBnB listing,” Lizbeth said as she twined her fingers with JJ. I kept my gaze ahead and wondered about the mountain lion.
“Brought you some lunch, too,” JJ said. He cast a quick glance toward Stella, but she was looking up in the trees. Wondering about the cougar as well, perhaps? “Thought you might like some company. But if we're—”
“You're not,” I said brightly. “You know I love it when you come.”
His shoulders dropped a little bit. Was it relief? Was he struggling with the change too, or was he too happily distracted? Even Lizbeth kept glancing at Stella, then me, as if trying to sense whether there was some sort of undercurrent there. Well, she wasn't wrong to wonder.
Sometimes I did too.
I clapped a hand on JJ's shoulder, able to push those thoughts away because it's what I did so well. “Thanks, brother. I have a date tonight, so lunch is perfect.”
Stella stiffened next to me as we came to the split in the path, but when I looked up, she had her usual smile on.
“Thanks for the run, Mark.” Her gaze moved beyond me. “It was good to meet the two of you finally. Mark talks about you all the time.”
Lizbeth opened her mouth to stop her, but Stella had already disappeared around the corner by then. I blinked, startled by the sudden escape. A tiny corner of my mind yelled at her. What was with the quick departure? But I shoved that away. No, Stella and I weren't like that. We were friends, but that didn't mean she had to hang around when my family came here.
Even if I wanted her to.
The elation I'd felt at not being a third wheel slowly died. I steeled myself for putting on a happy-go-lucky lunch with my usual suave charm. It would be harder this time. Way harder. Because I hadn't been around them in weeks and I forgot how nauseating it could be to see JJ holding her hand. Her bright smiles at him. The way they mutually adored and took care of each other.
Suffocating. Heart-wrenching. Soul-tearing.
Because dammit, I'd fallen hard for my brother's fiancee months ago and no amount of online dating, mountain climbing, or business-crashing had changed that.
And now she was his wife.
13 Stella
Coward.
The word circled my mind over and over while I attempted, for a third time, to watch a new thriller movie that had come out ages ago. I'd put it on my mental list of must-watch movies as soon as I saw the trailer, but that list had come to be more of an I must watch them within the decade kind of list.
How had I gotten so behind? Movies were my happy place.
Oh, yeah.
I'd let life swallow me for a while.
That had never been more readily apparent than now when I had ample time to live life but no idea how to do it. Running only occupied so much space, and hiding only created more opportunity for time. My thoughts spun as I set my chin on my knees, a bit haunted by both these strange circumstances and meeting Mark's family.
Coward, came the voice again. Coward, coward, coward.
Leaving so quickly had been the cowardly thing to do. I could see the upcoming invitation from Lizbeth. The startled look in Mark's eyes as I quickly ducked away. In fact, I'd wanted to stay. Wanted to get to know Lizbeth and JJ, the infamous people in Mark's life. Wanted to just be around other humans again. Meeting them had been . . . interesting.
Or, should I say, Mark had been interesting.
He'd stiffened like a board as soon as he saw Lizbeth? Or was it JJ? I couldn't be sure. There seemed to be troubled water under that bridge. His smile had instantly changed, though I doubted I would have noticed if I hadn't been watching him so closely. And why had I been in such a deep perusal?
Nope.
Didn't want to go there.
My thumb hovered over my computer as I stared at the email I'd sent Grandma earlier today. She preferred texting but made email work. I'd told her my phone had been lost in a mountain stream and I needed to find another one.
Grandma: My stocks are up! And I miss you. How is my girl? When do I get another visit?
A warm smile found me.
Stella: Maybe in a month?
Grandma: It's never soon enough, Stella Marie. I miss you very much. Are you doing well? Are you happy?
My gaze lingered on the last three words. Grandma always asked those kinds of questions. The hard, heavy-hitting ones. The ones that made your insides curl and your stomach ache because she did it so casually, so openly, that you couldn't even fake-laugh it off. Trust grandma to hit at the festering core of what made my heart feel so heavy tonight.
Are you happy?
How could I tell anymore? Although stressful, the last few weeks with Mark had been unbound in ways I'd never experienced before. Back home in Cincinnati, I'd thought I'd been happy. Maybe I worked a bit too much. Most of my weekends were me crashing hard, running last-minute errands, and failing to have a true social life that felt fulfilling and rejuvenating. Every now and then there had been a date. Mostly it was cruising NetMovies and falling asleep on the couch.
But now?
Now I felt something stirring inside me. Something that said all of that had been fake. Like a waking dream. A slow movement of existing, but not life. Not what Mark had. Mark didn't play it safe. He was unbound and a little wild and lived on just this side of is he crazy, or does he just not care? Maybe I played it too safe.
Maybe I wasn't happy.
With another sip of chocolate milk—my recovery
