“My first class had let out early so I’d been there awhile getting used to everything, arranging the space the way I wanted. Pasta was my love, and I was anxious to get started. You walked into the classroom.” He sighs and lifts himself off the floor, sitting next to me on the small sofa, our thighs almost touching. “I took one look at you, and in my mind, a movie reel started playing our future life together. And then you were so awkward and unsure of yourself, and I couldn’t imagine why, but it drew me closer.”
“Knox.”
He angles his body toward me and I place my hand on his chest, halting his movement. All the while leaning into him.
He moves his mouth near my ear and whispers, “And then you hated me and I didn’t know why. For self-preservation, I tried to hate you too.”
We’re both perfectly still, breathing each other in.
His eyes are hooded so I can’t see the color. I’m not sure that matters because try as I might, I can’t continue to hold on to the hate. Was it ever hate to begin with?
I turn my head and our lips are perfectly aligned. All I can think about is tasting them. My hand is still on his chest, so I shift it up and around his neck, the soft hair there tickling my palm.
“Amber.”
The nickname caresses my mouth, radiates a warm sensation down my neck. In the past, it was mocking—a throwaway compliment I thought he never meant. A scornful reminder to me every time he used it.
“Yes.”
He presses his lips to mine and my flesh rises in an instant, tingles travel the length of my spine, heat spreads in my belly.
What. Is. Happening? I hesitate and he pulls back.
When I sink my teeth into his full bottom lip, he yelps but comes back, pressing himself into me. I lie back on the couch and pull him down with me, never breaking the kiss, our tongues entwined. Knox tastes like salty crackers, probably pretzels.
He nips my chin, trailing kisses down my neck and I shiver with desire, pressing my breasts into his solid chest, running my fingers through his silky curls. The hardness of his erection presses against my core, and I push back. We grind against each other, moving our hands everywhere, exploring each other’s bodies.
My mind tries to wander, to makes sense of this, but the impact of his hands cupping my ass pulls me back into the moment. He bites a nipple through my T-shirt, sucking it in with the fabric and sparks fly through my veins. God, how long have I wanted this?
“Rowan.” His voice is rough when he says my name.
“Um hmm?”
“Do you want to move over to the bed?”
My mushy, distracted brain finally pulls itself back together. I sit up, pushing Knox off me. My body fights against my decision, inching back to him. “Sorry, I should go. I have no idea what I’m doing. It’s been an emotional day and we’re in competition.”
He straightens up and leans back against the sofa. “What if we weren’t in competition?”
“But we are.” I stand on wobbly legs and adjust my clothes back into place.
He stands too, and reaches for me, but I back out of his embrace. The look of hurt on his face almost makes me change my mind, but I can’t. We have so much history and much more unresolved between us to take this to such a physical level. There’s too much on the line.
“Sorry, Knox. I gotta go.”
“I understand. But there’s something here, right? I’m not imagining it.”
I nod because I don’t trust my voice.
“Okay. I’m going to make everything better.” He leans in and kisses me on the cheek.
I have no idea how he’ll make it better or even what that means, but I want to believe in him.
When I make it back to my room, I sit on the edge of the bed and look at my laptop. I wonder again at the notes I found a month ago. I want to believe that what I’ve puzzled out is true, and after what just happened in Knox’s room, I think it is. But if so, the last ten years have been a complete and total lie.
Out-of-the-Blue, But Oh So Tasty Almond Cake with Pears and Crème Anglaise
1-1/2 cups almond flour
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 tsp orange zest
Pinch salt
1 cup sugar, divided
2 large eggs, beaten
6 large egg whites
3 tbsp unsalted butter
3 tbsp sugar
4 Bartlett pears, peeled and cored and cut into 1/2-inch wedges
Powdered sugar
3 large egg yolks
1/4 cup sugar
2 tsp cornstarch
1 1/4 cups milk
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Place parchment paper in a 10-inch springform pan. In a mixing bowl, whisk flours, orange zest, 1/2 cup of the sugar, and salt. Add the eggs and whisk well. In a separate bowl, beat the egg whites until soft peaks form. Add in the remaining 1/2 cup of sugar and beat 2-3 minutes. Fold 1/3 of the egg whites into the flour mixture. Fold in the remaining egg whites until just incorporated. Pour the batter into a pan and bake for about 30 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Let the cake cool 15 minutes, then turn onto a wire rack to finish cooling. In a skillet on medium heat, melt the butter and sugar, stirring until sugar dissolves. Cut pears into 1/2-inch wedges and arrange in the skillet in a single layer. Cover and cook over low heat about 6-8 minutes. Use a large serrated knife to cut the cake into two layers. Spoon the pears along with sauce over bottom layer of cake and cover with the top layer. Lightly dust with powdered sugar.
In a mixing
