Mac studied her for a moment. “Kate?” he said. “What role do you see me playing in your future?”
She looked down. “That’s not... not a fair question,” she said.
“Why not?”
“That’s kind of up to you isn’t it? What do you want?”
Mac was silent. “It’s my choice?” he asked finally.
“More or less?” Kate tried. She couldn’t meet his eyes. “I guess I’m waiting to see what you want.”
Mac snorted. “And I’m waiting to see what you want?”
She grinned. “Sounds a bit ridiculous doesn’t it?”
He laughed, and he was tempted to let it drop. But he couldn’t quite let it go. “Would you really be happy if we were married?” he asked. “I’m what I am. And it’s very different from the people you’re used to.”
She was silent. “I always pictured me with some children and a husband sitting in the pew every Sunday,” she said at last. “I want my children to be raised in the church, Mac. That’s important to me.”
Mac had tried going to church with her. He still managed it on special occasions, but he actually had an easier time dealing with Christianity if he stayed away from Sunday morning services. He was usually left dumbfounded, thinking ‘can people really believe this shit?’ It wasn’t even internally consistent, never mind in touch with reality as he knew it.
“And I want my children raised in a home like this one,” Mac said. “But I also want them to be able to think for themselves, to think critically, to be accepting of differences — of different people, like Shorty, or my Aunt Lindy, or my cousin who is Black.” Well, unlikely that Toby would be around, but still, maybe someday. Toby was married and had two daughters, after all. “And let’s face it, some of your boarders — and some of your church — would have a problem with them, Lindy especially.”
She looked troubled. “I hoped you hadn’t picked up on that,” she admitted. “But I forget you’re a reporter. That’s what you do — pick up on things.”
“Kate? Do you have a problem with Lindy being gay?” he asked gently.
She was silent. She didn’t meet his eyes, and he couldn’t tell if she was thinking, or if she was avoiding him. Finally, she sighed, and looked up. “It bothers me,” she admitted. “The Bible says it’s a sin, Mac.”
Well, no it didn’t actually, but Mac didn’t see a need to argue theology. Not ever. “She’s as close to a mother as I’ve got,” he observed.
“I know. And I like her; well, I will when I get to know her better, I’m sure,” she said. “But you have to admit she can be pretty in your face and even crude.”
He snorted. Kate had been with him one evening when Lindy had come in with her lover and they were venting about a male colleague. They’d gotten pretty graphic about it before they realized Kate was there and was uncomfortable. He’d thought they were funny as hell.
“Babe, I can be crude,” he observed.
“But you’re improving every day!” she protested.
He was, but he thought he was doing it to fit in better with her world, not to meet her approval. And the difference between those two mattered to him, he found. A lot.
“Kate, I’m always going to be a rough-around-the-edges Marine, a reporter who sees the uglier side of humanity daily, and basically a cynical SOB,” he said. “And I guess that’s why I asked what you were envisioning for the future. Because I’m willing to watch my language around company and attend Easter services. I’ll carve the Thanksgiving turkey, and I’ll even go hear the Messiah every year if you want. But I’m not going to stop thinking. Or give up my family and friends. And if that’s what you’re picturing, we aren’t going to make it, sweetie.”
She bit her lip.
Mac considered her for a moment. She was one of the smartest women he knew. She taught science at a prestigious private school and was working on a master’s in biology at the U Dub. Shorty predicted she was going to be a professor someday.
“What do you see, Mac?” she asked. “If you don’t see what I see?”
“Fair question,” he conceded. “I see you, a college professor in the biology department. Me, still a reporter. Kids. A house where all kinds of people are in and out, because I kind of collect oddballs and strays. I see a big picnic for the 4th of July maybe with your Mom and Aunt Lindy, and half of campus probably.”
“And church?” she pushed.
“I’d go with you on the big occasions,” he said. “But I can’t listen to it every Sunday. I can’t.”
“But it’s what I believe,” she said, meeting his eyes.
“And I never will.”
There was silence. “I don’t think I’ll stay for dinner tonight,” he said.
She didn’t see him out.
Naomi caught him at the door, however. “I heard you two,” she said gently. “It was a conversation that’s needed to happen for some time.”
Mac looked down at her. “It’s not going to work is it?” he asked.
She hesitated. “Unless you are willing to convert to her — our — views? Probably not. She and I have both seen marriages where a believer and a non-believer are married. And Mac? It doesn’t work.”
He nodded. “Good-bye Naomi,” he said softly. He laughed. “Shorty said I wanted to be adopted by you as much as marry Kate.”
“You’re hungry for a real home,” she said, laughing herself. “I’d hoped that would become a hunger for the Lord, too. But if you’re sure that won’t happen? You need to end it now. It’s going to hurt as it is. Don’t make it worse by thinking you can just fake it.”
He nodded. He got into his car and drove away. Drove aimlessly. Finally realized he was in the Examiner’s parking lot. He sat there, and then he went in. He didn’t work evenings, so it was a different crew. Seth Conte,
