“This way our paths will cross decades from now and I’ll say Professor Kate? Yes, I knew her back when. And you’ll say that reporter for the Examiner? Yes, I knew him when he was just starting out.”
She smiled at him, a bit shaky, but it was a smile. “Are you sure, Mac? You know I believe God loves you and has a plan for your life.”
“I know, Kate,” he said, and hesitated, then added, “But if God loves me and made me like I am, then why are you and your church so determined to change me into something I’m not?”
She said nothing. They’d made it around the block and were nearing her house. She stopped, “Thank you, Mac,” she said. “I’m grateful to you for so many things. You’ve broadened my perspective on things, you’ve made me question. That hasn’t been always easy, but I’ll never regret it. You taught me about physical love, more than you will ever know. And I’m grateful you did this, like this. You didn’t leave me wondering what did I do wrong? You didn’t blame me. And I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
Mac smiled at her. He kissed her gently, and let it linger. “You’ve given me a lot too, Kate,” he said. “I’ve gotten a taste of what a home looks like. You remember the day we met?”
She nodded. There was tears in her eyes, but she was laughing. “I was making brownies,” she said.
Mac laughed. And she’d had handprints on her butt where she’d wiped floured hands. “And you said, want to scrape the bowl like when you were a kid?”
She nodded and looked puzzled.
“First time I’d ever scraped the bowl,” he said quietly. “Baking wasn’t something my mom did. First time, I’d ever had a lot of homey things that you take for granted. And you’ve made me realize how hungry I am for a home.”
She kissed him gently. “There’s always a seat at the table for you, Mac,” she said. “Just let us know, and we’ll squeeze in another plate.”
Mac knew they probably would, but he’d never ask.
He kissed her once more and walked to his car, and turned to make sure she was in the house safely. She waved and closed the door. And he looked over to the window, and saw her mother Naomi standing there. He lifted his hand in farewell, saw her nod and then she turned away.
Mac got in his car, and for a moment he just sat there, looking at the big old house, and the potential it had enticed him with.
He remembered something Janet had said early on: “The problem is Mac, you can’t unknow what you know. For good or bad, you know things that won’t fit in her world.”
“I love you, Kate Fairchild,” he said softly. And then he started the car and pulled away.
Chapter 17
(Friday, May 9, 2014)
Mac was in a foul mood by the time he got into the Examiner offices for morning calls on Friday. He’d gone home, checked in to Facebook, made his presence known. There was a leadership email from Sensei, talking about the importance of having been tested in battle. That it wasn’t enough to know how to shoot a gun, you also needed to know when, and that you could. All soldiers had had experiences where someone had frozen when faced with an enemy fighting back, often leading to disastrous results. That’s why the wilderness survival weekends were so vital for the development of strong men who would lead in the coming civic unrests. Make no mistake, he said, it’s coming. He talked about taking the survival weekends to the next level, and that there would be more on that soon.
Mac emailed him back: Wouldn’t it make more sense to train the men to be civic leaders, to run for public office, to coach Little League baseball for God’s sake, than to sit in their homes, cleaning their guns hoping for the breakdown of society so that they could go play in some real-life video game? Or hell, they could enlist!
There had been no response, and Mac worried about that. Had Sensei decided he wasn’t buying in and written him off?
But there’d been a message this morning: We’ll see how your ideals hold up on the battlefield, Mac. What will you do when what you hold dear is under attack?”
Mac frowned. He thought that was a reference to the upcoming weekend, but just in case, he suggested to his aunt that she go spend the weekend at her lover’s place.
“Mac,” Lindy had said, pouring herself coffee. She was teaching an early class this term. “What are you into this time?”
“I’m not sure,” he said honestly. “A bunch of gun nuts. But this last email? I’m not sure if he meant it as a threat or not. But just in case, be elsewhere?”
She laughed and shook her head. “Sure,” she said. “I can do that.”
He kissed the top of her head. “I broke up with Kate last night,” he said.
She reached up and patted his cheek. She didn’t attempt to say anything, and he was grateful.
He put his duffel and the carry case for the Remington in the lockbox in the back of his rig. The Glock was still in his backpack with his computer and camera. He added the Ruger for Angie to his backpack. He considered if he wanted anything else, and rummaged through his hidden lockbox for his arsenal, he thought with a grin, and found a tactical knife. He slid it inside his duffel. If he thought of something else, he could always transfer it to his kit.
And then he headed into work. He hesitated and then left a message on Shorty’s phone, about the latest email, and that he should be wary. Sensei didn’t even know he exists, Mac reassured himself. But just in case, it wouldn’t hurt for a heads up.
He
