“You want to know? You want to hear that story, Sath? Fine.” She returned to her bed and after a moment, he did the same, sitting across from her but thankfully not looking at her. “But remember that you asked for this. I tried to spare you, but you asked. I don’t know everything about my time with Ben because he kept me unaware, mesmerized, if you will, for a lot of the time. I was angry, but now I think of it as a kindness because I do not remember a lot of what he did to me. But there were times when I was lucid, so if that’s what you want to know, that’s what I’ll tell you.”
Sath sat in silence, and Gin wondered if he wished he hadn’t asked. But at the same time, a small yet insistent part of her soul needed for him to know. She had promised to share anything he asked. He had asked for this. He must be ready to hear whatever she had to say, didn’t he? Gin fell silent with him until she felt him stir in their bond.
Go on, Gin.
Let me make sure that all is quiet outside the door. I did not manage to get a map, but I think that we can just continue to head east once we are rested in the morning.
Gin slid off the bed and crossed the room. She stuck her head out into the hallway to find that it was indeed empty. She pulled the door shut behind her, locked it, and took a few deep breaths as she walked over to the fireplace. “Are you sure you want to know?” Sath nodded. “Okay.” She took down one of the barriers in their bond that she had fought so hard to keep and let him see the inside of the Alynatalosian Embassy on Qatu’anari.
Nineteen
Into Gin’s Memories Again, and Again
It was dark in the room when Gin opened her eyes. She was alone, or at least she thought she was. It was too dark to really tell, but she didn’t sense anyone else near her. She exhaled quietly and rolled over onto her side. The cold marble felt good, as her skin seemed to sting and burn all along her arms and legs.
She wasn’t sure how long she had been unconscious. Speaking ancient words, she conjured a wisp that provided little light to the whole room but let Gin at least know where she was. It was the bedchamber, as always, with its imposing marble walls and a four-poster bed in the corner. Her nose twitched as she caught the scent of food nearby. Gin sent the wisp to her right and smiled as she saw a plate of fruit and bread and cheese. She scrambled along the floor and grabbed an apple from the plate, hungrily tearing into its sweet flesh with her teeth. A stein sat near the plate, and Gin snatched it up as soon as she was done with the apple. She pushed the lever on the handle that opened the lid, and the fragrant aroma of mead filled her nose. She took a swig and then set the stein back down.
Gin rubbed her eyes as she tried to get to her feet. With no windows in the room, she had given up wondering what day it was. She had so much missing time that it was impossible to be sure. The embassy buildings were constructed with the bedchamber in the middle of the building, so that the rest of the structure served as protection around it. Gin’s breath hitched involuntarily as the image of Ben’s face entered her mind. Her thoughts were so muddled where he was concerned that she honestly had no idea how she felt about him. There were very clear recollections of absolute terror and pain, and then there were moments of such tender kindness that it made her eyes tear up just to think of them. As she broke off a large wedge of cheese to nibble on, she rubbed the back of her neck, careful to avoid the bruising there from Ben’s deceptively strong fingers.
“May I do that for you, my love?” Ben said, stepping out of a corner of the room into the dim light provided by Gin’s wisp. She jumped at his appearance, dropping the cheese on the floor. He moved closer to her, but she snatched the cheese up and scrambled away from him, closer to the door. “Now, Ginny, what’s the matter with you? We don’t eat food off the floor.”
“Stay…back,” she stammered, hating the weakness in her voice and body whenever Ben was close by.
“Come on up here,” he cooed as he gestured toward the giant bed. “I will call one of the healers to come and take your pain away. It is the least I can do.” Gin glared at him, and he moved away from the bed. She nearly sprinted to it, jumping up and pulling the covers up over herself. Before she
