The whole world seemed to revolve backward for a moment in Gin’s mind, and it took a few moments for her head to clear enough to be able to speak. But it was just that simple, wasn’t it? “I feel like I’ve been fighting you for half my life, Sath. I fought against you when you were the Bane of the Forest. I fought the memory of you when you were with Anni, I fought for you and for Khujann when Taeben tried to destroy you, and I think I’m still fighting to prove that I never loved him, even now.” She leaned her head back to peer up at the stars through holes in the tree cover. “I don’t understand now, I guess. It makes no sense to me for you to be with me when I can give you nothing. What is it that makes me define you? I have no family connections, no name or power to strengthen the royal family of Qatu’anari.” She rubbed her arms with her hands as a breeze that blew in from the north raised goosebumps on her skin. “What is it you want from me, Sath? I can’t figure it out. Just tell me, and that’s what I will be or do if I can, because—I have to be where you are. I love you too.”
Sath said nothing but ambled over and gathered her up in his arms. He drank in the scent of sunflowers and woodland and campfire smoke. He rubbed his face against her cheek, purring loudly. Sinking down into the shelter of the overhanging tree bough, he held her to his chest, feeling her heartbeat against his chest. She wound her fingers into his fur and nuzzled into his neck, sighing deeply with content. When her breathing finally slowed into the smooth rhythm of sleep, Sath carefully got to his feet and carried her back closer to the fire.
This, Gin, is what I want. Just this.I want nothing more from you than to be with you and have you in my life. I have never cared about what you can do for me. You do everything I need just being with me. That is more than enough.
He felt her smile through the bond. Sath leaned against the tree after sitting down, smiling as he dozed off comfortably for the first time in a long time.
Twenty-Three
Goddess, Interrupted
Sath and Gin slept late into the next morning. Birds chirped now and then as insects and frogs called to each other in the dark, and the wind that howled about the mountain peaks rustled trees near their shelter. Gin pulled her knees up to her chest as she woke, eyes scanning the darkness for signs of danger. She had no idea how long she’d been asleep when someone tapped her on the shoulder. In an instant, she was on her feet, brandishing a tree branch in one hand and using the other to rub the sleep from her eyes. “Who’s there?”
Relax, Gin, it’s just me. Time to get moving.
She stood and stretched, and then pushed past Sath toward the stream they had found the night before and splashed water onto her face. Sath rubbed his hands on his arms, trying to warm himself, and finally resorted to stoking the fire a bit. Gin returned and sat down nearby, rubbing her hands together before she warmed them by the fire. Turning his attention back to the horizon, he saw that the sun would soon be rising in the sky over the hilltops. Warm hues of pink and orange spread across the horizon, giving a glow to the snow on the mountain tops as though they were covered with diamonds. He looked around at the plants that bore fruit and wondered if they were safe to eat. They would need to get started moving soon but needed food first.
“If you’re making breakfast,” she said from the other side of the fire, “I’d like oatcakes with syrup and a quail egg, sunny side up with a steaming mug of hot tea. Hurry up,” Gin said, trying to control a fit of giggles coming over her. Sath scowled in response.
“You aren’t going to let me live that down, are you?” he said, chuckling.
“Never.” Gin thought back to her first days working in the Royal household as Khujann’s nanny, and how she was not sure of all of her duties. She had chambermaids to remind her of most things, but one morning she found herself with a sick little cub and no idea where to find a healer. Her first inclination was to heal the cub herself, but she couldn’t run the risk of angering his father, so she decided to ask the Rajah in person what she should do. Sath clearly remembered the same morning in their bond.
She turned up outside of his bedchamber and knocked, but
