‘What steps?’
‘Oh, you are maddening.’
‘Yes, but really, what steps? I’m going to marry you, my precious, and that’s taking a big step, I should have thought.’
‘Marry me!’ cried Philadelphia in despair. ‘I know, so you say, but how – how – how? How are you going to tell Mother, how do you intend to support me; above all, how am I to get disengaged from Michael? You don’t seem to realize that if he hadn’t caught jaundice, by the mercy of Providence, he would have been back again yesterday, ring and all.’
‘I can see quite plainly that you’ve been talking about this to Sally,’ said Paul sulkily, ‘and if it goes on I shall be obliged to tell your mother that as soon as her back is turned you are off like greased lightning to Mulberrie Farm. She’ll soon put a stop to that.’
‘Paul, darling, do you love me?’
‘Yes, I do.’
‘Then go and tell Mother that we’re engaged.’
‘I’m going to, tomorrow morning.’
‘You said that yesterday.’
‘I know I did. I felt so awful this morning that I simply couldn’t face it. There were brains for breakfast again, and the sight of them always upsets me. But tomorrow I’m going to be brave and heroic. And you’re going to write to Michael, aren’t you, and I’m going to write a best-seller about your great-grandmother, and we shall be as happy as the day is long, you’ll see. So give me a kiss and stop bothering, won’t you?’
‘No, I won’t. Will you go and tell mother this evening as soon as she comes in from hunting?’
‘Darling, please not. You don’t know the effect your mother has on my nerves; it’s positively uncanny. I shiver and shake like an aspirin leaf, whatever that may be.’
‘Have a whisky and soda first.’
‘That wouldn’t really do. Supposing she smelt my breath, like the police in motor accidents?’
‘Well, when do you intend to tell her?’
‘Darling, you’re not being just a shade governessy, are you? If you really want to know, I don’t see very much point in telling her at all. It will only mean that I shall have to leave by the next train if I do. Imagine my position. “Oh, Lady Bobbin, by the way, my name is Fotheringay, not Fisher, and I’ve been here all this time under false pretences, and I’ve never done a stroke of work with Bobby, but instead I’ve been collecting material for the life you don’t want me to write of Lady Maria, and I should like to marry your daughter, but as I haven’t any money I should be glad if you would pay off just a few of my more pressing debts and buy me a tail coat to be married in as I’ve rather grown out of my old Eton one.” It doesn’t sound too well, you know.’
‘Oh, Paul, whatever are we to do?’
‘“The glory of man is in being, not in doing.”’
Philadelphia burst into angry tears.
‘Don’t cry now, darling. Everything will be all right, you’ll see.’
‘Let’s go and ask Amabelle what she thinks, shall we?’
‘Oh, very well, if you like. Anything to stop you crying. Not that I imagine she’ll be much good to us, but still –’
They found Amabelle wringing her hands in front of the drawing-room fire at Mulberrie Farm. There was a strong smell of bananas in the room.
‘It’s all right,’ she said. ‘This is not a sign of mental anguish. Giles hasn’t given me the raspberry or anything like that. I’ve just been varnishing my nails, and I simply can’t get them to dry.’ And she fell to wringing her hands with even greater vigour than before. ‘I wanted particularly to see you, Philadelphia. Walter and Sally left for the south of France yesterday in a wild hurry. Someone was paying for them, and the poor sweets think it will cost them nothing. Sally was miserable she couldn’t say good-bye, and left a thousand messages. They’re only going for a couple of weeks, but you see they won’t be coming back here again as I’m off to London myself on Saturday to buy my trousseau, dear, for the farm. I think of having corduroy trousers like the ones that Giles wears; they ought to be quite attractive. Lucky I’ve kept my figure, isn’t it? Where’s Bobby, by the way?’
‘He’s staying with Bunch for a shoot; he’ll be back tomorrow.’
‘Send him along, will you? I want to see him before I go. I don’t suppose I shall get out of it under a fiver, but still. What it will save me in tips when that child goes to Oxford.’
‘Amabelle, we really came to ask your advice about something.’
‘Oh, did you just?’
‘Paul and I are engaged to be married.’
‘I know; Sally told me. You don’t expect me to congratulate you or anything like that, do you?’
‘I think you’re being rather unkind; it’s nearly always done, isn’t it? And anyway, why not?’
‘Because it is no matter for congratulations, my poor sweet. I suppose you think you are in love with each other?’
‘We don’t think it. We are in love,’ said Paul defiantly. He had an idea of what Amabelle was going to say next.
‘Then how can I possibly congratulate you? You must both know quite well that this marriage is practically an impossibility. At the best you have endless fusses and bothers in front of you; Lady Bobbin will, very naturally, refuse to give you any money. Paul has nothing but debts, you will both have to be terribly worried and unhappy for ages before you can be married, and miserably poor, probably for years, afterwards. Not a very enchanting prospect, to my mind.’
‘Look how poor Walter and Sally are,’ said Philadelphia. ‘They couldn’t be worse off, but they are the two happiest people I’ve ever seen.’
‘Walter and Sally are very exceptional. I am inclined even to think that they are unique; anyhow, I personally have never come across another case like theirs in my life. Nothing that could happen would ever make the smallest
