The admiral swilled off his seventh glass of port.
‘Never shake hands with niggers, Catholics or Germans if I can help it,’ continued the general.
Walter, knowing that Albert was an ardent pacifist and foreseeing some trouble, tried to change the conversation by asking him how his work had progressed that day; but the latter, whose face was burning, took no notice of him. Leaning towards General Murgatroyd he said in a level voice:
‘Is this the way you always behave when you meet an ex-enemy, even under the roof of a mutual friend?’
‘Of course – the filthy swine!’ shouted the general. ‘And so would you, young man, if you’d been through the last war. I think it’s the most shocking thing – the way some of you young people have quite forgotten what your elders suffered in those four years.’
‘We haven’t exactly forgotten it,’ said Albert; ‘but it was never anything to do with us. It was your war and I hope you enjoyed it, that’s all,’ he added, losing all control over himself. ‘You made it, as you are trying, by disgusting rudeness to citizens of a great and friendly nation, to make another one, trying your very hardest, too, on your own admission. But let me tell you that even when you have succeeded, even when you have brought another war upon us, it won’t be any good. None of my generation will go and fight. We don’t care for wars, you see. We have other things to think about.’
‘Albert, please!’ said Walter, ‘don’t let’s talk about this any more,’ he begged; but no one paid any attention to him.
Great veins stood out on the general’s forehead.
‘Do you mean that you would sit still and do nothing to prevent your country being invaded, governed, by a lot of filthy foreigners?’
‘Really, General, I cannot feel that it would necessarily harm the country. Many of us hope in time to see, under one government, the United States of Europe, which was Napoleon’s dream. The Germans are a people of undoubted culture and known for their exceptional efficiency. I dare say we should be no worse off under their administration than we are at present. If it is on sentimental grounds that you object to it, remember that for over a hundred years of undoubted prosperity England was ruled over by Germans – even German-speaking sovereigns.’
The general tried to speak, but Albert continued ruthlessly:
‘People of your class notoriously enjoy wars and fighting. This is only natural. You have been educated to that end. Your very recreations consist entirely in killing things, and it is clearly more exciting to kill men than rabbits or foxes. But in future you will do well to avoid stirring up the great civilized nations against each other. That’s all.’
‘Quite right,’ said Lord Prague, who imagined from the few words that had penetrated to his consciousness and from Albert’s impassioned manner that he was reviling all foreigners. ‘That is the proper spirit, Mr Gates. Down with the Huns! Down with the Frogs! Down with the Macaronis! Down with Uncle Sam! England for the English!’
Exhausted by the effort of this oration he lay back once more in his chair and closed his eyes.
Nobody paid any attention to him, and there was a long silence, accentuated by heavy breathing and the sound of the admiral gulping down his thirteenth glass of port.
At last it was broken by Mr Buggins.
‘Gates is, of course, entitled to his own opinions. I can see his point of view although, naturally, it differs from my own. Being very young and very enthusiastic, he expresses himself violently and rashly and probably says a great deal more than he means. None the less, there is something to be said for his argument.
‘All cultured persons are, to a certain extent, cosmopolitan. They feel at home among people of equal culture to whatever nationality they may happen to belong. I feel this very strongly myself. Italy is to me a second Fatherland; although I have no Italian blood I feel as much at home there as I do in England, having perhaps more congenial friends in Rome than I have anywhere else.
‘Gates, who is an artist – may I remind you? – of recognized ability, would feel naturally more at his ease among other artists, whatever their nationality, than he would, say, in the company of English foxhunting squires.
‘Artists, poets, musicians and writers are, of course, less affected by the governments under whose rule they may happen to find themselves than perhaps any other class. Therefore, it is hardly surprising if they do not greatly mind what form that government takes –’
‘Then are loyalty and patriotism to count for nothing?’ the general interrupted in a furious voice.
‘Nothing at all!’ said Lord Prague, who had opened his eyes again and appeared anxious to take part in the argument.
‘Patriotism,’ said Albert, ‘is a virtue which I have never understood. That it should exist in any but the most primitive minds has always mystified me. I regard it as one step higher than the Chinese family worship, but it seems to me that at our stage of civilization we should have got past all that sort of thing.
‘I am glad, certainly, to be English-speaking. That I regard as a very great advantage, both as a matter of convenience and also because there is no language so rich in literature. Otherwise, what is there to be proud of in this hideous island, where architecture generally vies with scenery to offend the eye and which has produced no truly great men, none to compare with, for instance, Napoleon?’
‘I should have thought, my dear Gates, if I may say so, that with your strongly pacifist views you would look upon Napoleon as the most despicable of men,’ said Mr Buggins.
‘No, indeed; Napoleon was the greatest of all pacifists. He fought only
