“Thank you, Maeve.” She let go of Jesse’s grip. “Take them to our house. It’s closer. They can show you where everything is. I promise we won’t be long.”
“You take what time you need. We’ll make do. I bet they have a thousand things to show me.”
Amanda watched Maeve walk Hailey and Jesse over the dune. As soon as they cleared it, she sobbed. “I don’t know what I’d have done if something happened to Hailey.”
Paul lifted her into his arms. “It’s okay. Everyone is all right. Come on. I’m sorry. I had no idea. Wow. You were the last person I ever expected to see again.”
His shoulder bore the same tattoo that had been on Jack’s shoulder. She’d always hated that he’d marked his body like that, but it was a Marine thing. Something she’d never understand or be a part of, but it made Jack the man he was, and she had loved every single thing about him. And he and Paul had done it all together. Two of a kind.
He guided her to the sand. “Sit down.” His voice was so calming.
“No, I have some water and a beach blanket over here.” She led him to their pile of stuff and sat. She took out two bottles and handed him one. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“I’m sorry I’m not Jack.”
“Stop.” It was hard to look at him again. They’d once been so close. He was like the other half of Jack. “Don’t say that.”
“I’ve asked a million times why I came back and he didn’t. He had you, the kids, so much to come home to. I had nothing. It wasn’t fair.”
“No one ever promised us fair. There’s not an answer to why. It took me a long time to accept that.”
“Poor Hailey.”
“We know he’s not coming back. It was high hopes or dreams, adrenaline that got the best of us in the shadows. It’s nothing you did.”
He sat next to her and pulled his sunglasses from his face. He ran his hand over his eyes and then set his glasses on his knee. “When I found out that Jack died over there…” A glazed look of despair shadowed his expression. “If I hadn’t taken the opportunity to work with the MP dogs, I’d have been there with him. That was the plan when we went in. That we’d be together.” He clenched his fist.
“You couldn’t have known what would happen.”
He wore the pain in his blue eyes.
“It was a promise. I promised you on your wedding day I wouldn’t let anything happen to him.”
“Stop. He made his own decisions, and he could take care of himself. He could’ve taken a different assignment too. But he decided a six-month deployment was best. And if you’d been there with him, you’d have probably not come back either.”
“Better than being back without him.” He dropped his chin to his chest. “I regret it every day.”
“I feel that too. It’s hard to shake.” Her lips trembled, making the words feel awkward. “Grief is so powerful. It’ll drag you under.”
“I’m still in shock that I’m sitting here with you.” His eyes scanned hers. “You look like you’re doing well.”
She shook her head.
“How are you?”
“Surprised. Kind of wondering if I’m going to wake up.” She pulled her legs underneath her. “I’m doing good now. Amazing in comparison to how I was two years ago. Last year was the worst.” She pressed her hands together. “But now, most days I’m pretty good.”
“We’ve been through a lot.”
“Yeah. How are you, Paul?”
“Healing. Still kind of a work in progress.”
She chuckled. “You always were.”
“Ha. True.”
“Sorry. Just playing.”
“No. It’s nice. Yeah, I just take it a day at a time. I struggled for a while. Really struggled. Got some help.”
“That’s hard to picture. You’ve always been so together. Controlled. Just like Jack.”
“Thank you. I wasn’t as tough as I thought I was, though. I shifted my focus from my loss to a way to help others. That’s when I finally found some relief.”
“That’s good.”
“My sadness kind of turned out to be a gift.”
There’s that talk of gifts again. Why is it so easy for everyone else to realize theirs?
She rubbed her hands together. She wondered if he’d noticed she didn’t wear her ring anymore. “I don’t know how I’d have gotten through it if I hadn’t had Hailey and Jesse. They were the only thing that kept me getting out of bed every morning and putting my feet on the ground.”
“So you live here now?”
“We moved here a couple months ago. I bought the house right on the other side of the dune.”
His eyebrow lifted. “The tiny one tucked in the trees, next to the mega-mansion?”
“That’s the one.”
He shook his head. “You’re not going to believe this. I put an offer on that house too.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Nope. They told me there were other offers coming, so I made a full-offer bid, but they accepted another one. I guess it was you.”
“That’s so crazy that we were trying to buy the same house. What do you think the odds are of that happening?”
“About a million to one. Especially since neither of us ever lived in this town before. But that place felt so right.”
“You felt it too?” She’d thought she’d been grasping at straws.
“Did you notice the Marine sticker on the surfboard?”
“Saw it. Yep.” She laughed. “There was a postcard with Denali on it too. It was so strange.”
“I didn’t see that, but I did feel a connection when I walked inside. It wasn’t the decor.”
“No. Heavens, no. The place was a dump. But even so, I knew we could be okay there. I mean, it was at the top of my budget and still needs a ton of work. Upgrades have to wait, but I like it. It’s turned into a cozy home for the three of us, and Denali, of course.”
“I bet Denali has gotten big,” said Paul.
“Oh yeah, and a handful, but Jack was right. We needed him. As much as I hated the idea of
