“A tiny bit,” I said. “Can we go to the big playground tomorrow?”
“Mmm,” she said. “Mmm” was what she said when she wanted me to stop talking about something.
There were daisies growing in the grass around the climbing frame, like the daisies at the church Mum had said wasn’t our church. She knelt on the ground and started picking them, so I did too. She was good at threading them together in a long chain. I couldn’t do it without splitting the stalk all the way up and spoiling it, so she let me be in charge of picking and I let her be in charge of chaining. We were a good team. She made me a necklace and a crown and two bracelets. I wanted her to have something too, at least a crown or a necklace, but she said she didn’t want anything.
My tooth still felt funny. It had been feeling funny for ages, weeks and weeks. I had stopped telling Mum because whenever I talked about it she said, “Mmm.” I pushed it back and forth with the tip of my tongue, and suddenly it wasn’t in my gum anymore, just in my mouth. I spat it onto my palm.
“What’s that?” Mum asked.
“My tooth,” I said.
“What happened?” she asked.
“Just came out,” I said.
She took my chin and looked at the gap where the tooth used to be, in the front at the bottom. I couldn’t see the space but I could feel it. Cold and whistly. Mum took a tissue out of her pocket and pressed it inside my mouth, and when she took it away there was a little red splat of blood.
“Does it hurt?” she asked.
“No,” I said, because it really actually didn’t. “It just came out. Look.”
I put it on her hand. It was white and shaped like a little flipper.
“Why did it come out?” I asked.
“Just time, I think,” she said. “Just ready.”
“Are they all going to come out?” I asked.
“Yeah. In the end.”
“So I’ll have none?”
“You’ll get new ones. Bigger ones.”
“When?”
“In a while. Let me see.” She held my chin again and looked at my tooth gap. “The new one’s already coming in there. I can see it. There’s a little white bit at the bottom.”
“Can I see?”
“Next time you’re in the bathroom you can look in the mirror.”
“Can we go to the bathroom here?”
“Not now.”
I really wanted to see, but I didn’t want to make Mum upset. She was looking at my tooth very carefully, turning it over and pressing the tip against her fingers.
“Can I have it?” I asked.
“Yeah. Sorry,” she said. She put it back in my hand, wrapped my fingers around it, and wrapped her hand around my fist. “It’s a good tooth,” she said. “Well done.”
It was cold outside and Mum saw goose bumps making pimples on my arms, so she gave me her jumper. The sleeves drooped way down over my hands but we rolled them up. I thought Edie might make us go inside but she had her head tipped back toward the sky and her eyes closed, so actually I didn’t think she was going to make us do anything, because actually she was asleep.
“When are we going to go home?” I asked Mum.
“I’m not sure,” she said.
“What am I having for tea?” I asked.
“I’m not sure,” she said. She was sounding a bit cryish, so I didn’t ask any more questions. I squeezed my fist until the tip of the tooth nibbled into me.
“Molly?” Mum said.
“Yeah,” I said.
“You know when you’re in bed?” she said.
“Yeah,” I said.
“You know, I’m still thinking about you. When you’re asleep and I’m awake. If you had a dad I’d talk to him about you. There’s just me, but I still think about you. About how to make things good for you.”
“Okay,” I said. I thought it was a funny thing to say.
“It won’t change,” she said.
“What won’t?”
“Me thinking about you.”
“Won’t change when?”
“Just won’t change. Not ever. No matter what happens.”
“Is something going to happen?”
“Whatever happens. You’re my Molly. You always will be.”
I did like Mum saying those things, but they weren’t the sorts of things she normally said, so I didn’t know what I should say back. She looked like she really wanted me to say something back. In the end I just said, “You’re my mum.”
She pulled me back between her legs and wrapped her arms around my middle. I stretched up and put my arms around her neck, and it hurt because arms aren’t meant to bend that way, but I didn’t mind. She pressed her chin into my shoulder. She smelled of washing and rain. We stayed like that for a long time. I had to take my arms down after a while because they got too sore, but I put them over Mum’s arms instead, so it was like we were both hugging me. She kept her chin on my shoulder and whispered some things very quietly. I couldn’t hear them properly, because her head was pressed against one of my ears, and that meant I got to decide for myself what she was saying. I decided she mainly said, “I love you, Molly.”
When I next looked at the building there was a face in the window above the bench.
“Mum,” I said. “Sasha.”
Mum looked up. Her body went hard against my back. Sasha came out of the building and touched Edie’s shoulder to wake her up. Edie went inside and Sasha came toward us with her jumper sleeves over her hands and her arms crossed over her chest.
“Bit chilly, isn’t it?” she said.
“I gave her my jumper,” said Mum. I yawned. Sasha crouched down and patted my leg.
“Been a long day for you, hasn’t it?” she said. “Sorry we’ve kept you all this time. We’re done now.”
I heard a gritty sound above my head. Mum was grinding her teeth together.
“Are you free to pop in again
