He leaned forward, narrowing his eyes, and spat:
“I lived in Sfal with the man I loved, knowing full-well that if we were ever to return to Tarviss, we would be gelded or killed. If there’s one thing I care for is that I didn’t have the balls to tell you and Karlan to go fuck yourself when you knocked on our door. Make of it what you want.”
He whirled on his heel and strode off, leaving Kiraes too stumped to reply.
Chapter 18
They didn’t put me back in the hole. Instead, after Adyar Lah and I took Tayrel Kan to the field hospital, I was told to go to my tent and await further orders. Kalikka brought me from the initial shock, but as I stretched on my cot, terror and guilt still churned in my stomach.
I wondered if I should leave. Just pack my stuff and slip away in the night. There was nothing—and no one—keeping me here. I was alone, surrounded by enemies. Dahlsi, Tarvissi—what the fuck was the difference? The Tarvissi would torture and kill me, while the Dahlsi would sentence me to exile or death—provided they wouldn’t shoot me in the back. And maybe after what I’d done to Tayrel Kan, I deserved it…
The only problem was there was nowhere to go. The merge was closed, the only sorcerer I knew was out cold. I could hide in the country and wait for the war to end, then try to return to Kooine. Probably get approached and arrested on the spot. But the surrounding area was burned to the ground with no shelter in sight, so they’d have no problem catching me. So, I stayed—not because of conviction, but out of simple resignation.
With nothing to do, I reached for the only thing that ever brought me solace: food. Led by compulsion more than hunger, I gorged on nuts and sunberries until my stomach was bloated and my mouth filled with sticky sweetness, thinking if I ate all the nuts, no one else would get hurt…
In this whole mess I hadn’t even asked if Myar Mal was alive. Not that it mattered; he wasn’t a friend of mine. And after that nut incident I doubted Tayrel Kan would be. I was on my own.
A rustle ground my musing to a halt. I strained my ears, wondering if I’d imagined it. But the sound repeated, and I was now certain: someone was behind my tent. Why not the front? Were they trying to sneak in? Didn’t they realize there was only one way in?
Was there?
Carefully, I turned my head toward the direction it came from. There was a shadow creeping near the ground, barely visible against the white sheet. I cast a quick blurring spell and as quietly as I could—which I admit wasn’t very quiet—I darted outside, wand in hand, hoping to catch the intruder before they fled.
When I saw them, I froze.
“Ellare,” I groaned. “What are you doing here?”
The girl raised her teary eyes to me. “Help me,” she whispered.
I quickly scanned the area. We were at the very edge of the camp, and there was no one in sight. I grabbed Ellare’s arm and dragged her into my tent. She was dirty, covered in ash and grime, almost blending in with the environment—that’s probably how she got this far without drawing attention. When we were inside, I placed the seal on the entrance and she slumped down on the ground, scattering flakes of dirt all over my pristine floor. I cast a quick cleaning spell; Ellare didn’t even notice.
“I made a mistake,” she sputtered between sobs.
Yeah, no shit.
Like me, Ellare was from Nes Peridion. A couple of cycles younger, but already notorious for her beauty—especially since she wasn’t above taking advantage of it. Rumor said she had the hots for Karlan, but of course, her parents wouldn’t have it. They even arranged for her to marry an honest peon boy. I guess she did follow her heart after all. Right to the fucking Montak Mansion.
I ran my hand through my hair and slumped to my cot.
“What were you thinking?” I asked.
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” she whimpered.
I felt a stab of anger. What was it supposed to be like?
“Karlan said…” she sobbed again, “he said that we’d just get in, make our demands, and they’d do as we say. He said no one would die.”
To that, not a stab but a wave of hatred washed over me. Was he really so dumb? Did he think so little of Dahlsi?
Did all of them?
As if sensing my anger, Ellare shrank. “Karlan is mad,” she whispered unsteadily. “Look, I— he…” She paused, then sighed, then picked up her speech, “he made it sound easy. Plausible. It was hard not to trust him. But I see now, he is delirious, Aldeaith. He wants to undo what our parents have done.”
I scoffed. That much was clear from the beginning, but when I opened my mouth to say it, she raised her hand in protest.
“No, you don’t understand. He treats it like some kind of ritual. He wants to do everything that happened in Nes Peridion, but in reverse. And he won’t rest until he hangs your head above the gate to the mansion.”
“He’s in the wrong fucking world,” I remarked. And there was no siege in Nes Peridion, as far as I was told. No Dahlsian presence. Plus, if he wanted to do everything like it happened back then, shouldn’t he need my father’s skull?
“I know.” Ellare shook her head, making a few strands of hair loosen from her braid. I noticed she wore a few beads of olivine in her hair. As if to make her allegiation clear. “And he knows that, too. He knows his ritual is not working, and that makes him desperate. That’s why he sent us in this stupid-ass charge.”
The images flashed through my mind. The bodies of
