She turned to her side so that her face was inches away from Lily’s. ‘Morning, beautiful,’ she said. ‘How did you sleep?’
‘Where’s Daddy?’ Lily asked, rubbing sleepy eyes with curled up fists.
Kate’s heart broke all over again. ‘Daddy’s away, remember? But Mummy’s here and we can have a lovely day at home together. How about I make your special pancakes?’
‘With chocolate spread?’ Lily’s eyes instantly lit up in anticipation.
Kate smiled, relieved at how distractible children were. ‘With chocolate spread.’
Getting an impatient, wriggly child with a broken leg up, washed and dressed was, she soon discovered, something of a challenge but she welcomed the distraction. Lily was a trooper, brimming with excitement at the novelty of being off school. ‘When can I show my friends my cast?’ she kept asking. Kate felt a stab of pride at her little girl for putting on a brave face and wished Pete was here to see it too. Maggie, disgruntled at not being the centre of attention, played up more than usual and Kate was relieved when Rachel arrived to walk her to school. After settling Lily on to the sofa with some milk, a duvet and a Disney film, Kate reached for her laptop and sat down beside her daughter. She immediately logged on to Facebook, searching for Pete’s profile on impulse even though she knew it wouldn’t be there. As she checked her email, she suddenly had a thought. Bringing up a new message, she typed Pete’s personal email address in and started writing.
Pete,
I don’t know if you’re checking your emails. I don’t even know where you are. I don’t know what’s happened to us. I’m really angry with you, Pete, I can’t pretend I’m not. You took the coward’s way out, you should have talked to me, given us an opportunity to fix this first before you decided to run. You’ve always talked about being a man of principles, of being different from your dad, but then you go and do this. I don’t know what to think. Was it so bad that you couldn’t tell me how you felt? All these years we’ve been together and you couldn’t come to me with this? When did it all go so horribly wrong between us?
Lily’s broken her leg. She fell at school. She’s been asking after you and I don’t know what to say to her. She wants to know when you’ll be back. What do I do?
She didn’t know what else to write, so she pressed send and listened to the whoosh as her message disappeared off into the digital ether. She had so many questions yet in that moment, she couldn’t think of anything else to say.
Erin called round later that morning with gifts for Lily and a bottle of gin for Kate. ‘I think you’re going to need this over the next few weeks,’ she told her sister as she hugged her tightly and went to put the kettle on. With their tea they sat down together at the kitchen table.
‘Any news?’ Erin asked her.
‘Nothing,’ Kate replied. ‘Although I emailed him this morning just in case he’s checking them.’
‘Have you had a chance to make a plan of action?’
‘Not really. I didn’t sleep a wink last night. I can’t believe Lily’s managed to break her bloody leg. I can’t work out if it’s literally the worst timing ever or if it’s a welcome distraction from the rest of the nightmare that is my life at the moment.’
Erin couldn’t help but laugh. ‘You’ve got to love kids, haven’t you?’ She looked at Kate thoughtfully for a few seconds before adding: ‘I’ve been thinking. Maybe you should contact one of his mates from work and see if they know anything. Do you have any of their numbers?’
‘I don’t think so but I’m friends with a few of them on Facebook. I could send them a message, I guess.’
‘You need some answers, Kate. Perhaps they can get a message to him about Lily too. He’d want to know, even if I’m not entirely sure he deserves to.’
‘You’re right,’ Kate said. She reached for her laptop and searched for Dan’s profile. Dan was one of Pete’s closest mates from work. She’d met him several times and he was a nice bloke. His wife, Laura, was lovely. She began typing a message to him.
Dan,
Hey, it’s Kate. I hope you and Laura are good. Look, I’m sorry to bother you, this is really awkward. Pete’s gone away and I don’t know where he is. Lily’s broken her leg and I need to tell him but I’ve got no way of reaching him. I just wondered if you were in contact with him? Is there any way you can get a message to him for me?
I don’t know how much, if anything, you know, but any information you can give me would be really appreciated. I’m just trying to make sense of it all.
Kate xx
She showed the message to Erin who nodded her approval, then Kate hit send. Within a few minutes she could see that Dan had read the message and the little speech bubble appeared, signalling that he was writing a reply. She held her breath as she waited. It took a long time and she could imagine poor Dan, torn between loyalty for his friend and doing the right thing. Finally, the message appeared.
Kate, hi! I’m so sorry to hear about Lily, is she okay? Please send her all our love. Listen, this whole thing with Pete, I’m really sorry. I don’t know what to say, to be honest. Last time I saw him was at his leaving do last week, I’ve not spoken to him since. I take
