"I'm going to speak with him tomorrow."
There's a slight pause, and then Judge answers. "Weakness will get you killed, Santiago. You can't afford it. There are already holes in your armor."
"I know." I lean my head back and close my eyes. "I won't deny it."
"Speak to Eli," he says. "And I'll keep looking through the files you sent. If anything else catches my attention, I will let you know."
I thank him and say my goodbyes, and when I open my eyes again, Evangeline is standing in the doorway to my office, staring at me.
"What are you doing?" I frown.
"Nothing." She shrugs a shoulder and ventures inside without being asked, her eyes moving over everything with interest. "I'm bored."
"Bored?" I repeat. "And what would you like me to do about it?"
"Want to play a game?" she asks.
I stare at her, incredulous. "I have to take care of your sister."
"She's sleeping," she says. "How about Tic Tac Toe or Hangman?”
When I don’t respond, she sighs.
"Fine. MASH then."
"I don't even know what that is," I answer dryly.
She makes herself at home, settling into the seat across from me, grabbing a pad of paper and a pen from my desk. "I'll show you. It's easy."
Somehow, she ropes me into answering a bunch of inane questions, which she follows up by marking lines into the paper until I tell her to stop. I watch her as she proceeds to count, scratching off items one by one until she's circled a word in each column.
"Okay, you're going to live in a mansion, and you're married to my sister, obviously. You drive an Aston Martin, and you're a math geek for your job. You'll have five kids and no pets."
"This is the dumbest game I've ever seen," I tell her. "What's the point of it?"
She laughs and rolls her eyes. "Um, duh. It's just for fun. Do you know how to have fun?"
"Clearly, I do not."
"Okay, now my turn." She slides the paper toward me, and I consider telling her this is ridiculous. But when I notice how at ease she seems to be around me now, it makes my chest feel strange.
"One game," I say firmly. "And don't expect me to know who Damon Bieber is."
"Those are two different guys." She laughs. "God, you are so out of touch. Okay, let's do this. Put down mansion in every column for me. Pink, purple, blue, and red."
"Isn't that cheating?" I arch a brow. “I had a shack and a normal house.”
"Nah, not really. It’s all pretend, so just go with it."
I suspect she's not being completely truthful, but I do as she asks. And somehow, over the next ten minutes, I end up describing her imaginary future life full of cats and dogs and some vampire named Salvatore for a husband in their pink heart-shaped mansion. I'm too uneasy to admit how strange this is, talking to a child as if I know anything about dealing with them. It isn't until Marco finds us there and he heaves out a strangled laugh at the spectacle before him that I realize it's not just me. I really am unequipped to deal with small humans, and it shows.
"Hey, boss." He wipes the smirk from his face as he steps inside. "Sorry to interrupt. I was just going to give you an update for the night like you asked."
Eva cranes her neck to look up at him, giving him a little wave, which he returns before he takes a seat beside her.
"Eva, I have some business to take care of.” I nod at her.
"Yeah, yeah, I get it." She tugs the piece of paper from the pad and folds it up, placing it in her pocket. "I'll go wander the house and find something else to do."
"Go to the kitchen if you'd like," I suggest. "Ask Antonia for one of her famous sundaes. But just this once."
"Really?" She perks up.
"Yes. Really."
* * *
Marco is grinning at me like an idiot when I shake my head.
"I think this house needs a few kids running through the halls. Brings it to life," he remarks.
I nod stiffly, hoping he can't see the terror that's slowly beginning to sink in. It was always a given that I would do my duty and have heirs, and since Ivy has been here, that's been my goal. But now it's real. Now that I seem to be reminded of it at every turn by a child in my midst, I can't stop doubting my abilities as a father.
"What is it like?" I ask.
Marco blinks at me slowly, trying to comprehend the question. I'm about to tell him to forget it when it occurs to him.
"Being a father?"
I nod, wishing I never mentioned it.
He brushes a hand over his stubble and sighs. "Honestly? It's fucking terrifying." A laugh bursts from his lips as he shakes his head and then smiles. "But it's the best thing I've ever done. I'm always thinking about them. Wondering if I'm doing enough. If they are safe at home. What they are doing when I'm at work. They never leave my mind. You can’t even imagine half the scenarios that will go through your head… all the questions you’ll have about whether you are doing it right. You’ll never stop thinking about it."
His answer isn't what I expected, and I can't wrap my head around it. Surely, that isn't the case for every man. He must be an anomaly. My own father never seemed to think of us except when we did not perform to his standards.
But I won't be that way, will I?
I feel a headache starting to form at the base of my skull. Right now, the only thing I know for certain is that Ivy will be here to help me muddle through the process. Between her and Antonia, I suppose they will not even need me around very much. Yet I think I would like to be around. But will I just get in the
