Before we’re even at the top of the stairs, I see the woman I’d met last time come hurrying out of what I guess is the nursery, the screaming little bundle in her arms. Colette rushes to her to take the baby who must sense his mother—or the food source—nearby and his cry changes to a gasping catching of breath as he smashes his head repeatedly against Colette’s breast, his frustration growing again when he can’t get to her breast fast enough.
As I follow Colette, I hear the deep rumble of Marco’s voice but can’t make out what he says before Colette and I are in Ben’s nursery and she’s closed the door behind us.
She relaxes a little as soon as we’re alone and plops down onto the big rocker to feed Ben.
“I can come back. If it’s a bad time,” I say, looking at her worried face.
“No, it’s okay, Ivy. It’s good you’re here. I’m glad.”
I set the bag down and sit on the chair opposite Colette. I take in the room, the walls painted a soft blue, the same mobile hanging over the cradle that Santiago had had delivered to our house.
“We have the same one,” I say to fill the silence. The room overlooks the garden and it’s so peaceful and quiet, so different from the mood downstairs.
“The mobile?” Colette asks.
“Santiago bought it. It’s one of the first things.”
She smiles. “Stand up, let me see you while I get this guy fed. Then you can meet him.”
I do and turn a little so she can see the bump.
“You look beautiful, Ivy. Truly glowing.”
I sit back down. “Thank you. I feel good. Not much nausea and, well, things with Santiago are better so that makes a really big difference.”
“I bet,” she says, her face faltering again. Ben gives a cry and reaches a small hand up to cup her chin. She smiles down at him, using the muslin to wipe milk from the corner of his mouth.
“He’s beautiful, Colette.”
She’s teary-eyed when she looks up at me. “I love him so much already and honestly, I thought I already loved him before he was born but it’s nothing like when you first see his little face. When you first hold him.” She wipes her eyes with the same muslin.
“What’s going on?” I ask, worried.
She glances out the window and shakes her head and I get the feeling she’s replaying a conversation in her head.
Ben falls asleep and she runs a finger over his cheek to rouse him. He starts to suck again as soon as she does.
“I don’t like that man,” she says to me finally as a few more tears fall. “And Jackson,” she falters here, shakes her head and looks at me but I get the feeling she’s miles away.
“I heard you fighting. I’m sorry. We’d just walked up to the door and I could hear.”
“I’m sure the whole street heard. Everyone but Jackson, that is.”
“What do you mean?”
She sighs deeply. “Can I tell you something?”
“Anything.”
“This is big, Ivy. Like really big. But I think Jackson is making a mistake and there’s no one I can talk to.” Her voice breaks and she’s openly crying now.
“Colette,” I get up, take some tissues from a box nearby and hand them to her, then crouch down to take her hand. “Whatever it is, you can trust me.”
She nods, squeezes my hand.
The door opens quietly then and the same woman who’d served us last time brings in a pitcher of iced tea and a plate of small cakes. She smiles warmly but doesn’t speak and just glances at the baby. I know she’s trying to keep quiet for Ben.
Colette thanks her and a moment later she’s gone.
“I love those cakes. I can’t get enough. I’m going to be big as a house if she doesn’t stop baking them.” She’s attempting humor and I smile but it’s not quite working.
I get up, put one of the cakes on a plate and bring it and a glass of iced tea to her. She takes the cake and I set the tea on the nearby table then make myself a plate too. I don’t eat it, though. I’m too worried about her to eat.
“I saw Holton leave,” I say.
“He’s a bastard.” She falls silent, distant again and sets the barely nibbled on cake aside.
“Colette?”
She just shakes her head like she can’t speak just yet.
“He was there when my…when I had the virginity test.” I manage the words, feeling my face flush.
Colette’s mouth tightens into a thin line. “Santiago made you—”
I shake my head. “He didn’t know. It was my brother. My half brother.”
“Abel.”
“You know him?”
“Not personally,” she says, but from her tone I know she doesn’t like what she does know and I wonder if Holton’s visit is somehow tied to Abel.
“Santiago wouldn’t have made me do that,” I say with the knowledge that it’s true. Even then he wouldn’t have submitted me to that humiliation. “But Holton stood as witness and I still shudder when I think of his eyes on me. His hand when he—”
“God, Ivy.” Her hand is covering her mouth, her eyes wide.
I shake my head. “What did he do to you? Why do you hate him?”
“You can’t tell anyone. If The Society finds out…” she trails off.
“I won’t. I promise. Tell me what it is.”
“Jackson’s uncle, one he never even really knew, it turns out he was involved in some pretty bad things. He and Jackson’s father never were on good enough terms for Jackson to even know much about him. It just makes no sense.”
I wait as she gazes down at Ben, rocking him a little as he sleeps again, his tiny mouth barely hanging on to her nipple.
“I think he’s scared,” she says, and looks up at me. “Jackson I mean. I think he’s scared they won’t believe him. That he’ll be guilty by association.”
“Guilty of
