“I love Blue Harbor. I missed it when I was away. I don’t see myself leaving again.”
From the little smile she gave, she seemed to like that answer.
“No, the real reason is that she’s worried about me. She doesn’t think I’m happy, and she thinks the only reason I came back to Blue Harbor is to run away from love.”
gabby stopped at the bench under the tree and narrowed her eyes on him. “Wait. Are you telling me that you’ve been in love?”
He considered this statement. He tended to take words at their value, and this was a topic he didn’t feel he could expertly argue.
“To be honest, I don’t think I can answer that question.” He shrugged. “I thought I was in love at the time. Now…now I’m not so sure.”
She dropped onto the bench dramatically. “And here I thought you didn’t believe in love.”
He managed a rueful grin and took the space beside her. “Your debate skills are paying off. Your word choice has me on the spot.”
“So do you? Believe in love, that is?”
He wasn’t going to let her off that easily. Besides, it was too broad a question to answer. Even to himself. “In general, or for me personally?”
“For you personally,” she said, and he raised an eyebrow, surprised that she was this interested in his personal life and not just in having an argument. But then, something had shifted between them these last few weeks, something had maybe even grown. Gone were the days of being right for the sheer sake of it. Now, he preferred to be understood.
“It’s not very easy to measure an emotion, is it?”
She gave a slow nod of her head, looking far too entertained for his liking. He had the uneasy feeling that he was losing this debate, and that for once, she was the one who was doing the gloating at making him squirm.
“Ah, I see, we’re back to the evidence now. I know for a fact that love exists, and that it lasts,” Gabby said.
“I won’t bother to argue with you,” he said, because the truth was that he agreed with her. Love did exist, and for the lucky ones, it also lasted. There was no doubt in his mind that his parents would be together forever, that when he saw his mother reach over and take his father’s hand, it was with just as much, if not more, love than they’d had for each other on their wedding day.
He felt a pull in his stomach when he thought of his own circumstances.
“So then by agreeing with me, you’re also saying that you do believe in love.” The smug satisfaction in her smile was so cute that he felt his eyes linger a moment longer than he should.
Clearing his throat, he looked away, watching the ducks bob in the water, occasionally dipping their heads below the tranquil surface.
“Fine. I do believe in love. For others.”
Her brow knitted. “Why not for yourself?”
He leaned back against the bench, releasing a pent-up breath. “I was engaged before I came here.”
Now she set her fork down and gaped at him. “Douglas Monroe. You mean to tell me that you, the man who doesn’t believe in happy endings, actually did something as romantic as propose to a woman?”
There was no getting out of this one. He shoveled a piece of cake into his mouth. A little drier than last weekend’s cake. By now he could almost become a wedding critic.
He supposed in many ways, he already was one.
“Down on one knee, with a ring and everything.”
Her eyes were wide as she continued to stare at him with an open mouth of surprise. “But that’s just so…so optimistic of you!”
“I was a different man back then,” he said, shrugging.
She looked at him sadly and returned to her cake, going for the icing first, like last time. “What happened? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“I’m the one who volunteered the information. The topic is free game now.” He set his plate in his lap. “We were halfway through the planning, and then one day she just said that she didn’t want to do it anymore. That she didn’t love me. And that maybe she never had.”
“Ouch.” Gabby winced. “And you didn’t see it coming?”
He let out a laugh that bore no amusement. “No, I didn’t. Now, looking back, I can see that things hadn’t been right between us for a while. That maybe they’d never been right. We were colleagues, and we had our work in common. We had a lot in common, really. We seemed like such a good fit, but something was missing. Something I can’t put into words. A feeling, in the gut.”
She looked pensive for a moment. “I think I know what you mean,” she said quietly. “Someone can look so right on paper, and sometimes, someone can look so wrong, but your heart says otherwise.”
He held her eyes for a beat and then looked away. He’d divulged too much already. Shared more than he had with anyone in a long time, maybe ever.
“Well,” he said, shrugging off the old injury. “Now you know my little secret.”
“And I’m guessing it’s the reason why your mother is so determined to see you matched up and soon.”
“She assumes I’m lonely, which I’m not.” Only that wasn’t completely true. He wasn’t lonely tonight, sitting beside Gabby. If anything, he’d dare to say that he was perfectly content in a way he had never been with Lisa. “And she thinks that if I find the right woman that I’ll be happier.” He shook his head. “It’s not that easy.”
“Maybe it is,” Gabby countered. “I mean, look at the bride and groom. And my cousins, and even my sister. I’m not saying that they didn’t have setbacks or stumbles, but a lot of it was about being in the same place at the same time. Being ready. When
