My eyes are hot with tears I struggle to blink back, and I can only nod my thanks as he begins to speak.
Marco says everything I wanted to say, only better. As the middle child, he looked up to both me and J.J. and credits his success as a Navy SEAL to our influence, which he laughs about because it’s clear J.J. was raising hell until the very end. He doesn’t mince words either, nor does he censor himself even for the sake of our mother. But she beams at him through her tears despite the salty language. He has the entire crowd laughing as he tells story after story about J.J.’s antics when we were young. He ends on a more somber note and I’ve given up on holding back the tears by the time he walks down from the podium and hauls me into a bone-crushing hug.
“I wish to fuck I could’ve been here for you, brother,” he whispers as he slides into the pew between me and Mom.
The service finally ends, and Marco joins me in the honor guard with a few of Julian’s former shipmates, flanking Sam as he carries our brother’s ashes out of the church. Mom and Elle walk at Sam’s sides. Conspicuously absent is the man who shares J.J.’s name. Our bastard of a father is nowhere to be seen. I finally give up looking as we all leave for the funeral procession to the cemetery. I decide then and there that if he ever shows back up, I don’t care what Mom says, I’m sending him packing.
After Marco presents the folded American flag to Mom with an understated flourish, he finally acknowledges my pointed look with narrowed eyes when he stands back up.
“What’s with the look?”
“Dress whites at a funeral? What the hell are you smoking?” I mutter as the funeral party breaks up and people start heading back toward the limousines that brought us here, courtesy of Papá Flores.
“It’s a long story and not really one worth sharing. I figured my presence was more important than what I was wearing, so here I am.” He sobers and glances back where Mom and Elle are walking with the others a few paces behind us. Their group now includes Arturo, Leo, and Celeste, as well as Toni Valentine and her brothers and another woman Mom’s age who I’m guessing is connected to Arturo in some way, but I haven’t figured out how. “Want to tell me what really happened? I haven’t gotten a straight story out of anyone I asked yet. But you were there. How’s the wound, by the way?”
I touch my side and try to avoid scratching where my bandage pulls at my skin, but it’s the new addition to my tattoos that really bothers me. I wouldn’t have maintained my sanity for the past week without a visit to Zarya to continue covering my scars, but this time she included a little more work than usual. I now sport the head of a wolf on my side, several inches above my bullet wound, with wild eyes and a bloody maw and J.J.’s initials worked into a scar on the wolf’s ear. “It’s healing. J.J. got tangled up with a couple cartels, and I was dumb enough to get dragged into it, that’s all.”
“Or dumb enough to not let him do it alone? I know you, Maddy. You never used to let us do stupid shit like that. What changed?” He darts another look back. “Or do I even need to ask?”
“It had nothing to do with Celeste.”
“What about Reyes?”
I turn to him and narrow my eyes. “Why would you automatically jump to Leo?”
“I have friends in naval intelligence. I may have abused that relationship just a little to keep tabs on you two. So . . . I know about your CO. And I’m sorry. But you don’t need to lie to me. None of us care who you love. We just want you to be happy. Which I realize is a fucking ironic thing to say today, but it’s the truth.”
We’re about to reach the cars that are lined up at the curb and it’s my turn to look over my shoulder. A cold breeze picks up, tugging at Celeste’s hair and flinging it into Elle’s face. They stumble into each other and start laughing as the breeze continues to whip their long hair around. Toni comes to their rescue, digging into her purse and producing hair ties, then pausing to swiftly plait both girls’ hair. When she’s done, she gives Elle a tight hug that leaves my sister off-balance, and Celeste is there to steady her. The three of them continue toward the cars, arm in arm.
“You know her?” Marco asks, catching me scrutinizing Toni a little longer than necessary. The chauffeur is opening the car door for us, and I pause and nod. “She’s Celeste’s best friend. Her brothers were friends of J.J.’s, and I think she did some of J.J.’s ink, so she knew him too.”
“Tattoo artist, huh? And tell me again, why did you go after the girl with no tattoos and a dad with a penchant for murder when the perfect woman is right there?”
“Do you even need to ask?” I deflect, because I’m not in the mood to list all the reasons why Celeste is right for me but Toni isn’t.
He barks out a laugh and shakes his head. “I always thought you had a death wish for covering EOD. Now I’m positive you do.”
“Papá Flores and I have an understanding. I’m still standing, aren’t I?”
He shakes his head. “Give it time. Just remember to call me if you need out. I’ll come.”
I laugh as we climb in, and Mom, Sam, and Elle join us a few moments later. Arturo’s arranged to host the reception at his estate in Los Feliz, and when we get there, the
