“But it made me see that gray area in a different light. After hearing your story and all the rumors that fly around about Flores, I’d be a hypocrite if I tried to cling to some moral high ground about justice and not breaking the law. What’s on the surface doesn’t always reflect what’s inside, and it’s what’s inside that counts. You don’t have to be squeaky clean to be a good person.”
“You still feel that way even though your mom’s a senator? There’s got to be some serious cognitive dissonance being in a family whose livelihood is so bound up in government and the justice system.”
She lets out a wry laugh. “Especially because Mom’s a senator. There’s no way in hell she didn’t exploit as many legal loopholes as possible to help you get Zoe back. She has the power to do it, so she does it. Flores has his own power, as morally questionable as it is, but he uses it to protect people, not exploit them. As someone who saves lives for a living, I’m on board with that. I wouldn’t condone murder, but I’m not above looking the other way if it protects people I care about.”
We stare at each other for several beats, then I chuckle and shake my head. “You are something else, you know that? Here I am about to confess my darkest secret and you give me a speech about the greater good.”
“They said it was an accident. That’s good enough for me. Karma’s a bitch, right?”
She smiles and closes the distance between us again. I pull her into my arms and hold her tight, and bit by bit, that burning knot in my chest disappears.
43 Callie
I resign myself to a long night, grateful for the prospect of fresh coffee to get me through. I’m used to no sleep anyway, but I already worked a twelve-hour day and my second wind has come and gone. The only things keeping me going now are the lingering endorphins from the amazing sex Mason and I had, so I need to get the coffee in me soon.
I offer to stay in and watch Zoe while Mason takes care of his mom, but I’m not surprised when he turns me down. “I hate interrupting her routine, but I think having her with me when I talk to Mom will help soften the blow. You can stay and sleep if you want. Or head home.”
He gives me a searching look over the kitchen counter as he preps a diaper bag for the baby. Zoe’s in her carrier, babbling sleepily up at me. She’ll probably conk out again in the car, so I don’t feel so bad about the fact that we woke her up.
Mason reaches into the freezer for one of the containers of breast milk left Zoe’s mother left behind, a dwindling collection we retrieved from Mexico City. I stare at the small bottle and bite my lip, hot tears pricking my eyes. I know it’s just exhaustion, but I’m so gone over him and his little girl it isn’t funny.
The fact that Emilia pumped a few gallons’ worth of milk and stored it proves how very loved Zoe was. Every time Mason tells me something else about his friends, the enormity of the hole left behind by their deaths sinks in. I want so badly to fill in some of that emptiness for them both, but my own self-doubts still plague me.
Tonight I started to feel a shift for the first time all week, though. Mason’s insistent on sticking it out with me. Would it be so bad to meet him halfway?
He catches me staring at the container and shakes his head. “It’s not going to last forever. I’ve started mixing it with formula to stretch it out, but I’ll have to wean her off it soon enough anyway. When it’s gone, it’s gone.”
“We’ll still be here for her, so she won’t lack for anything. Won’t we, Zo-Zo?” I smile down at her and she coos back, batting her little fist at my hand and grabbing hold of my fingers. When I look up at him, he’s smiling.
“I hope that means you’re not running for the hills. I could feed you some pitiful line about how we both need you, but you know we’ll survive one way or the other. The fact is I want you in our lives. Hell, if I had a ring, I’d get down on one knee right now . . .”
“Mason, don’t,” I say, cutting him off and staring at him. My heart rate just skyrocketed, and my legs went wobbly, but I can’t let him finish. “I mean . . . not yet, okay? Not tonight when emotions are so high.”
He holds my gaze as he rounds the kitchen counter and stops to face me, his expression so very earnest I’d probably say yes if he got the question out. But he doesn’t ask.
“Sweetness, as I was saying, if I could do it right, I would do it in a heartbeat. I know it’s not a good time, but the subject isn’t closed. I’m going to ask you to marry me eventually. I know in my bones it’s the right thing for us both. So just be prepared.”
I can only nod and smile, my vision blurring from happy tears. The next thing I know, he’s kissing me, and all the reluctance and the last shred of doubt I had about staying with him and Zoe dissolve.
Despite the reason for our late-night visit to the hospital, I’m happy for the trip. It feels completely natural to settle Zoe in her car seat and climb into Mason’s new Suburban with him, then ride across town to the Ronald Reagan Medical Center.
Marcella is awake when we get to her room. When we walk in, her face lights up
