She was sharp. I hadn’t expected her to catch that. If I lied, I’d only have to explain it later. Better to come clean now…well mostly clean.
“Cecil runed the Dark Goat so that only I could drive it,” I said. “It’s keyed to my signature. Anyone else trying to drive it gets a nasty reminder why that’s a bad idea.”
It was mostly the truth. I didn’t want to have to explain how the nasty reminder was potential death, and how I managed to avoid it. I had a feeling she’d have a hard time grasping it all, coming from a non-mage.
“You’re the only one who can drive it?”
“Yes, it’s safer that way.”
“Does Tristan drive?”
“I wouldn’t call what he does driving exactly,” I said. “I think he prefers those backward cars with the steering wheel on the right.”
“You mean proper automobiles?”
“I mean backward automobiles,” I said. “You’re almost as bad as Monty. Anyway, on this side of the pond, we drive with steering wheels on the left.”
“One more thing you’ve taken and perverted,” she grumbled. “It’s astounding.”
“One more thing? What did we take and pervert?”
“We don’t have that kind of time, I think,” she said. “Let’s just start and end with language. You say you speak English, but what you really speak is some kind of strange dialect that vaguely resembles English.”
I didn’t have a comeback for that…she was right.
“I’ll give you that one. As I’ve told Monty many times, I don’t speak English, I speak American and proud of it.”
“Which is why no one in the civilized world understands you…not without a translator. It’s simply incredible.”
We moved fast down the street, and I saw the kiosk that signaled the entrance to the Hellfire Club. No one really stood in our way as we moved. I didn’t have personal avoidance runes, but what I did have, was a Peaches. People parted before us when they saw him coming. I would’ve, too, if I’d run into a large hellhound on the street.
“Erik should be able to help me deal with my signature issue,” I said, giving the NYTF cordon a wide berth. The last thing I wanted was to be seen anywhere near the site of the recent destruction. I made a mental note to ask Chi why she blew up the park. “He’ll either help me or blast me…depends on how he’s feeling today. We’ll find out soon enough.”
EIGHTEEN
We were up the block from the entrance to the Hellfire, when I pulled out my phone and dialed.
“Who are you calling now?” Jessikah asked, looking around furtively. “You said we needed to get off the streets.”
“I can’t just drop in on Erik,” I said, waiting for the call to connect. “He doesn’t like unannounced visitors.”
“Is that the entrance over there?” Jessikah pointed to the Harlequin standing guard at the entrance. “Is she the door person?”
“Yes and no,” I said, watching Jessikah approach the Harlequin. “What are you doing?”
Jessikah stood before the kiosk that led to the entrance of the Hellfire Club.
She gestured and formed an intricate rune that hung in the air.
In front of the kiosk stood a woman dressed in a skintight black-and-white checkered costume. Her face was hidden behind a black mask. The mask was a combination of tragedy and comedy.
This was one of the Harlequin—protectors of the Hellfire.
When she saw the runic symbol Jessikah had created, she bowed with a flourish and twirled the pair of rune-covered tonfas she held.
“The Black Orchid is always welcome,” the Harlequin said. “Please step inside the circle.”
She stood to one side of the large, rune-inscribed circle that rested at the top of the stairs. In order to get into the Hellfire, you needed to step in that circle—no exceptions. We stepped in. I took a deep breath, preparing for digestive torture.
“I need to see him,” I said, calming myself and giving her a slight bow. “Is he in?”
The Harlequin nodded.
“He’s expecting you.”
The Harlequin returned the bow and slammed both tonfas into the ground. The circle we stood in flared to life. A second later, we stood at the foot of a flight of stairs that led to a large wooden door. This time there was no nausea, just a white-hot pain trying to split my skull open.
I fell to my knees, grabbing my head, and vaguely registered arms supporting me.
“Bring him inside,” I heard Erik order. “Now, before it’s too late.”
I felt myself being carried as the world became one large blur. I looked to one side and saw a tall figure…Erik.
“Oh, hey, Erik,” I said, through the mind-numbing pain. “Wash…wash…wash going on?”
“Get him to the null room, now. The secure one, downstairs.”
More movement and then a cool darkness. I closed my eyes and for a few seconds my brain didn’t feel like it was trying to escape through my skull.
“This is nice,” I said, mostly to myself. “Can I just lay here for a few decades?”
“Tell me you have a totem, Strong,” Erik said, the strain clear in his voice. “You’re too far along for me to arrest this.”
“Don’t arrest me,” I said, getting my bearings. “Jacket pocket. Keepsaker. There’s a TEST inside. Ow, my head. Did you change the teleportation sequence?”
“Your signature is reacting to the security measures of the Hellfire Club,” Erik answered in his usual clipped manner. “Why didn’t you call me first?”
I glanced at Jessikah with an I told you so look.
“What’s wrong with him?” Jessikah said. “He looks bad.”
“Thanks,” I said with a groan. “Kick a man when he’s down.”
“She’s right,” Erik said. “You’re crashing.” I could feel him going through my jacket pockets. “Are you sure you have…Never mind, I found it.”
“What…is the totem not there?” I asked, taking in the dimly lit room. I saw whips, cuffs and various implements of restraint and pain. “I’m not into you that way, Erik. I thought you said the null room…not the pain room?”
“He’s delirious,” Jessikah said. “Help him.”
“Bloody hell, Strong,” Erik said, as the worry in his voice kicked
