“Whatever you do, if you enjoy a functioning mind, do not call her a ‘glorified librarian’. She is an Auer, or The Auer. Do not address her as anything else, at your own risk.”
“She sounds dangerous,” I said. “For once, can’t we go see someone harmless? Someone like the barista of scrumptious coffee who will drown us in caffeinated goodness if she feels insulted? Why is it every time we go see one of your people, the chances of obliteration escalate?”
“My people?” Monty asked. “What do you mean, my people?”
“You know,” I said, with some finger wiggles. “The magey/sorcerer types. So far, they’ve all been dangerous, deadly, or unpredictably homicidal.”
“Because mages and their ilk are dangerous, deadly, and unpredictably homicidal,” Monty said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “The world you are now part of can and will kill you, or at the very least try to, repeatedly. Although, you visiting the Auer should be safe.”
“Oh, you’re saying this Auer is harmless?”
Peaches padded over to where we stood. I was surprised he was capable of any movement after devouring his enormous bowl of pastrami. Monty glanced down at my partially sated hellhound.
“Not exactly,” Monty said, stepping to the side to allow my hellhound passage. “She’s probably as harmless as your creature.”
I looked at my—harmless—hellhound, and he looked back at me with a serious dose of puppy dog eyes. The effect was lessened a bit by the red glow.
“You realize it may be time to put your creature on a diet of some sort,” Monty continued, having avoided a dislocated hip from an accidental collision. “He’s looking a little rotund around the middle.”
“He doesn’t like the ‘D’ word,” I said, lowering my voice. “Says I’m trying to punish him when I bring it up.”
“He could stand to lose a few pounds.”
“He could,” I said, glancing at Peaches. “He just ate the equivalent of a small cow in pastrami. I don’t know if I could put him on a di—modified eating program.”
“Why ever not?” Monty asked. “If he continues on this course he won’t fit through normal doorways, much less the car.”
“I tried and Ezra shut me down,” I said, patting my wonderful hellhound on the head. “Said he’s still growing and needs all the food he can get.”
“At this rate,” Monty said, approaching Jimmy, “we’re going to need a bus to transport him.”
“I just need to exercise him more,” I said. “Hellhounds have boundless energy. I just need to channel it.”
“You could always let him and Grohn play,” Jimmy volunteered. “I’m sure it would help him burn off some excess energy.”
I stared at Jimmy.
“Where exactly do you suggest this ‘play’ take place?” I asked, looking around. “Here at the Rump?”
“Are you insane?” Jimmy said, glaring at me. “They would destroy it. I know just the place—when you have some time, bring your pup.”
We thanked Jimmy for the tea and coffee and stepped outside. The Dark Goat greeted us with a wave of menace that radiated outward in every direction for several dozen feet.
“Whatever runes Cecil used on the Dark Goat, maybe I could have him place some of the same on a jacket?”
“You want Cecil to rune a jacket that causes fear and repulsion in a radius around its location?”
“That way it would make my life easier,” I reasoned. “When something comes to pound on my mage partner, they will stay away from me. That way I avoid the poundage.”
“Or it may have the inverse effect and make you a target, just like being the Marked of Kali does. In fact, it may even multiply the effect of the mark, attracting some insanely formidable enemies to your location.”
“Shit,” I said, opening the door for my slow-moving hellhound. He bounded into the Dark Goat, occupied the entire backseat in a sprawltastic way, rocking the car as he settled in. Monty just stared and shook his head. “Do you think the Mark is that bad?”
“I think we’re going to need to visit Cecil soon to redo the suspension on this car,” Monty said, getting into the Dark Goat. “The mark Kali graced you with inherently acts as a deterrent.”
“That’s a good thing, right? Deterrent is good.”
“Inherently, yes. As you grow in power, you will attract powerful enemies,” Monty added. “Like attracts like and in this case, whatever you attract will most likely try to obliterate you.”
“Without even getting to know me first?”
“Killing the Marked of Kali is a high honor,” Monty said. “If a challenger manages to accomplish the task, it’s rumored Kali will favor them with riches and glory.”
“So, I’m basically a walking, breathing lottery ticket for some enemy wanting to take me out.”
“Well, I wouldn’t put it so crudely, but yes. If someone manages to vanquish you, they will gain substantial notoriety, vast material wealth, and power. It’s quite enticing, actually.”
“Thanks for the morale boost,” I said, placing my hand on the dash and starting the Dark Goat with a roar. “Why would she do that? I was perfectly fine being the Chosen of Kali—well, not fine, but you know what I mean.”
Monty nodded.
“If I were you, I’d ask her,” he said. “She may even answer you.”
I shuddered at the thought of “visiting” Kali again.
“Hard pass,” I said. “Have you met Kali? Fun times it is not. Maybe I can just live as a hermit in the office. Maybe just stay in Dex’s room for the duration?”
“As an option, that sounds unlikely,” Monty said. “Eventually they will find you as your power increases. The beings seeking you out will be stronger, able to locate you wherever you are, this plane or another.”
“Maybe there’s such a thing as mark camouflage? Something to mask it for a specific amount time, like two or three centuries?”
“Perhaps the Auer may have some information,” Monty said. “We need to head to Queens.”
“Queens?” I said, as we headed away from the Randy Rump. “Really?”
“Yes, specifically Flushing Meadows Park, the site of the last World’s Fair in New York City,” Monty said. “The
