About noon two days later, I left Kanita alone by ferry and arrived at Aomori Port at three in the afternoon. I traveled by the Ou line to Kawabe, changed to the Gono Line, arrived in Goshogawara around five, and immediately took the Tsugaru Railway north over the Tsugaru Plain. The light was already dim when I arrived in Kanagi, the place of my birth. Kanita and Kanagi are a distance from each other and follow one side of a rectangle. Lying between them is the Bonjusan mountain range where nothing resembled a path. There's no choice but to take a huge detour along the other three sides of the rectangle. I arrived at my birth home and first went to the Buddhist altar room. My older brother's wife came with me and opened wide the door to the altar room. For a time, I gazed at the photographs of my parents on the altar and respectfully bowed. Then I went to the family sitting room to greet my sister-in-law again.
"When did you leave Tokyo?" she asked.
A few days before leaving Tokyo, I sent a postcard to my sister-in-law stating that I was thinking about touring Tsugaru and planning to stop by Kanagi to visit my parents' graves and hoped that wouldn't be an imposition.
"About a week ago. I was delayed on the eastern shore. N from Kanita was a great help."
She must know about N and said, "Oh, I see. I received your postcard and wondered if something had happened and worried when you didn't appear. Yoko and Mitsu have been waiting for you and went to the railway station every day. In the end, someone became cross and said she wouldn't notice even if you came."
Yoko is the oldest daughter of my oldest brother. About six months earlier she married into the family of a landowner near Hirosaki but visited Kanagi from time to time with her groom. The couple was visiting at that time. Mitsu is the youngest daughter of my oldest sister. Still unmarried, she always comes to help at the house in Kanagi and is an obedient child. These two nieces clinging to each other came laughing cheerfully to greet their uncle, the undisciplined drinker. Yoko looked like a student and not in the least like someone's wife.
"You look ridiculous," they immediately said and laughed at my clothes.
"You dopes. This is popular in Tokyo."
Assisted by my sister-in-law, my grandmother appeared. She was eighty-eight.
"Oh wonderful, you came. You came," she shouted. She was energetic although she looked weak shuffling in.
"What shall we do?" asked my sister-in-law looking at me, "Shall we eat here? The others are on the second floor."
Yoko's groom was seated between my two oldest brothers. They were just starting to drink on the second floor.
How much etiquette is maintained among brothers? And what degree of candidness and rudeness is acceptable? I still have no idea.
"Would it be a problem if I went upstairs?"
I thought it'd be unpleasant if I drank beer here alone and would look meek.
"Either is fine," she said smiling then gave an order to the young women, "Well, take the cups upstairs."
Wearing my jacket, I went upstairs to the nicest room with golden papered sliding doors. My brothers were quietly drinking when I made my noisy entrance.
"Hello, I'm Shuji. Pleased to meet you."
First, I greeted the groom then apologized to my brothers for being away for so long. Both brothers gave a short grunt and nodded in consent. That is the way in our family. No, you could say it's the way in Tsugaru. I'm used to it. Mitsu and my sister-in-law calmly poured sake into the cups, and I drank the sake in silence. The son-in-law was sitting behind the alcove post, and his face was flushed bright red. My brothers had always been strong drinkers but seemed much weaker.
"Here, would you like more?"
"No, I'm fine, thank you."
"And you?"
In this way, we politely went back and forth. After my wild drinking in Sotogahama, coming here was like entering the Palace of the Sea God or a different world. I was shocked and nervous about the gulf between the lives of my brothers and mine.
"Shall we have the crabs later?" whispered my sister-in-law. I brought crabs as a gift from Kanita.
"Uh."
I hesitated because crabs are a little too rustic for the elegant bowls. My sister-in-law may have felt the same.
"Crabs?" asked my oldest brother, "Don't worry. Bring them. And bring napkins."
The mood that night might have been pleasant in the absence of my brothers and the son-in-law.
The crabs arrived.
"Please, help yourself," my oldest brother offered them first to the son-in-law and shelled the crabs.
I sighed with relief.
"Excuse me, but who are you?" the son-in-law asked me with an innocent, smiling look on his face. I was startled but immediately reconsidered and found the question understandable.
"Oh, you see, I am the brother after Eiji (the name of my second oldest brother)," I said smiling but was disheartened. I felt craven by having to use Eiji's name. I gauged Eiji's reaction, but he looked indifferent and I felt cut adrift. No, that's not true, I sat relaxed and had Mitsu pour more beer for me.
The mood in my home in Kanagi is mental fatigue. I will be unable to write about this later. A man burdened by the bad karma of writing about his relatives and then not being able to sell the manuscript is gifted by the gods with this birthplace. In the end, I nap in a hovel in Tokyo and longed to
