way I was going out now. But what she said next was completely unexpected. “It’s really scary out there,” she said. “Don’t go out, no matter what. They’re talking about you on the bulletin board. Somebody posted a threat, said they should go out and get you.” Yeah, I knew. “Why?” I said. “I don’t know, but somebody wrote on V of H that they wanted you caught and killed. They even said where you live. Does somebody have it in for you?” Does somebody have it in for me? That would be you, wouldn’t it, Kan? After all, who had tried to crucify me? But before I pointed that out, what I really wanted to know was why she was telling me this. She wasn’t my friend anymore, was she? “I don’t think anybody we know did it,” she continued, “but I’ll call around and try to find out. Anyway, Aiko, don’t go out. It’s Armageddon out there.” “Got it,” I said. “I sent a request to have them delete the post about you, so I think it’ll come down soon. In the meantime, is there someone there with you?” “No,” I told her. “What? Where’s your brother?” “He went out a while ago.” “Not good! Try to get him on the phone and tell him to come home. It’s really dangerous out there.” “Okay.” “How about your mother and father?” “Still at work.” “So, you’re all alone?” “Like I said.” “Do you mind if I come by?” she said. “Fine with me,” I told her. Kan lived in Kichijoji, so it was a hike to Chofu. Plus she kept telling me how dangerous it was to be out now. Why did she want to come all the way here? Why? If she’d offered yesterday, when she was still my friend, I’d have told her to come right over. But what was this about now? What? Did she have another bone to pick with me? Was she trying to get me to drop my guard? Still, I knew she didn’t write the post on V of H—because I wrote it myself! “I’ll be there soon,” she said. “No, don’t bother,” I said. “But if I take the bus, I can get to your house without going near Chofu Station.” “But you said the post mentioned where I live, so it’s not safe here. Don’t come. I promise I’ll stay inside and I won’t move.” I didn’t mention that I was also hoping Yoji would be showing up. No need to go into too much detail. “I’ll call my brother and tell him to come home, so you don’t have to worry about me. But thanks.” “Okay. But, Aiko, I wanted to say I’m sorry.” “About what?” “About yesterday.” “Oh that. Don’t worry about it.” I’d won anyway. “When I heard that Sano had been kidnapped, and then that his toe had shown up at his house, I guess I jumped to conclusions. I’m really sorry.” “Like I said, don’t worry about it. But I really didn’t do anything to Sano.” Other than kick him in the face. “I know,” Kan said. “I know you didn’t.” “Okay.” “I’m sorry, Aiko.” “Okay, let’s drop it.” “Sorry, I…” she said, but then her voice seemed to dissolve in tears and I had a sudden flash. Kan actually liked Sano. I was pretty sure she’d done it with him too, but she wasn’t one of the girls who’d told me I should give him a try. And somehow I had the feeling she’d always looked happy when he was around. That was it! That explained why she’d been acting so weird and emotional about the whole thing—why she still was. It was all part of a bigger picture. When Kan had seen the post I wrote on Voice of Heaven, she’d started thinking I would probably be killed. She must have wanted to apologize while there was still time. She had always been something of a goody-goody, or at least she liked to think so, so it would have bugged her if I’d gone and died before she could apologize for the attempted Crucifixion. That’s what was behind all this. But who the hell cares? I began to relax as I listened to her sniffling and crying on the other end of the line. I knew I was just like her: we were both selfish bitches. And in the end I had no desire to punish her, no hard feelings at all. I’d have done just about anything to get Yoji to like me—just like Kan would have done anything to preserve her idea of herself as a kid who knew right from wrong, who would always try to make up for every mistake she made. Fine, that was fair enough. That’s who you are—serious and all—and that’s how you want to live your life. I’ve chosen the path of love instead…which suddenly reminded me that Yoji would be arriving any minute now, so I couldn’t stay on the phone forever listening to Kan cry. “Stop crying,” I told her. “It’s okay. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine. Thanks for calling, it’s okay. I’m fine, so you can stop crying. Uhh, so, I’ll see you at school, okay? Though I probably won’t be going tomorrow. Text me. I’ll get back to you. Okay? Thanks. Kan? Okay. I’ll talk to you later. Of course! We’re still friends. No, I don’t hate you. Okay, talk to you later. Bye!” Whoa! If this love thing, if that’s what it was, was going to make a girl like Kan do crazy shit like this, it was pretty scary.
But scary or not, it was the path I’d chosen, and I had to make the most of it.
Yoji would be here any moment. Or would he? I found it hard to believe he was really coming. Right through the middle of Armageddon.
I let myself imagine him, looking totally cool, dodging and weaving and avoiding all those
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