Beaker to Life

I would be driving all night. I called Ricky to ask if I could nap at his parent's when I got to town. I still had a key, so he didn't mind. I then texted his parents, and they just told me to drive safely. However, traveling out of the area, I hit every red light. It was almost as if traffic and time were against me. My car ride was supposed to be around four and a half hours long, but it was closer to eight after traffic and accidents. My eyes were heavy, and I shifted every so often as I drove.

Every second I drove, though, I ran various versions of conversations between my dad and me in addition to what I might say to Madeline. I wasn't sure which exchange I was dreading more. If Madeline was as down as Dr. Green had made it sound like talking to her was not going to be easy. I was not even sure how I could help her or if I'd be able to keep calm enough to get anything done. When it came to Madeline with my dad, I wasn't ever able to keep a level head.

I was finally in town, and the sky was still dark. One of my hands let go of the wheel, and it went to my mouth. My palms ran over my face then my eyes. I opened the windows to let the cool air into the car. The drifts of air weaved into the vehicle but did not ease my spinning mind. Ricky's car was behind his parents' cars in their driveway. I parked my car off to the side with a yawn as I had once done as I finished out high school. There were four patches of grass where my vehicle had parked when I lived there.

Taking the key out of my car, I grabbed my bag out of the back. Quietly I dragged my feet up the stairs and opening the door as I hoped that I would not wake anyone up. The front door clicked as I unlocked the door. As I walked in, a meow greeted me. I bent down and scratched behind the cat's ears. He purred and rolled over. Standing back up, I tiptoed down the hall towards Ricky's sister's room. Ricky had told me to go to her room when we had last spoken. He constantly reminded me that I always had a home with them. His sister had moved back for a short bit but moved out last year. However, her room stayed the same bright shade of green.

I dropped my bag by the bed and kicked my shoes off. I didn't bother taking my jeans and shirt off as I climbed in. I laid on my back and stared at the ceiling. Even though I had been yawing in the car, my eyes were wide open as I stared at the white space. I had spent months living in this house. Yet, it felt odd to be back in this space. It didn't feel like I had spent months living in this room. I could not believe that I hadn't eaten dinner at their family table or studied in their living room. Was I even that same person? Here I have been worrying about Madeline changing, but have I changed?

Taking in a deep breath, I let it out slowly. I forced my eyes to close and turned to my side. I needed to get some form of sleep, the next day was going to belong, and I didn't know what I was planning on doing or saying. I just knew I had to get Madeline out of my dad's possession once and for all.

18

Madeline

I had brought my computer chair near the window. Sitting in it, I turned towards the horizon with my knees brought into my chest. The sun was out today, and the sky was the perfect shade of light blue. If I craned my neck, I'd see the occasional bird flying towards the water. I closed my eyes and imagined what it would feel like to spread out my wings to soar high in the great beyond of endless freedom. That would feel like the freshest air. Would I ever be able to know what that felt like? Had it begun to feel warm yet? It was May, or were we still having those peaks of cool days? My insides tightened as I glanced around the artificially lit room.

There was a knock on the door. Why did people do that when they knew the lock was on the outside? I didn't have a real say if people were allowed in here or not.

"Madeline?"

It was Dr. Green's voice. I could recognize that voice without ever turning around. It was once a comfort, and now it was just another voice.

"Yeah?"

Looking over my shoulder, I watched as he came in. My eyes went back to the window after he sat down in the same chair that Beth used when teaching me. Was this what animals at the zoo felt like? I could look out, but I couldn't ever interact. I even had the people protesting me from the sidewalks. Great, I was a zoo animal.

"How are we doing today?"

I shrugged. "The same as yesterday. I've been stuck in this room for years; I don't know why you keep asking how I'm doing."

"How are you feeling?"

I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. I felt like a house plant that needed to feel the sun on my face.

"Fine." My voice was flat.

Dr. Green wasn't the problem, but he didn't give me any other options either.

"You don't feel sick?"

I shook my head.

"I don't know how you had such an immune system problem, but you've been feeling fine."

I glanced over at him, and he sat in the chair. The older man that would smile