We both stare into the darkness for the longest time, but it is Jake that breaks the silence.
“How could you have given yourself up like that?’ Jake asks, looking me in the eye.
“I thought I could save all of you,” I answer.
“Who asked you to do that?” he spits back at me. His tone is angry and short but quiet to not wake the others. “Who told you, you needed to be the one to save us?”
Speechless, I sit here, looking at him, trying not to cry. I had no idea this entire day he had been fuming with anger towards me.
“Don’t do that Liz! Don’t you dare sit here and not say anything. Don’t get lost in your head just so you have an excuse not to talk to me. Out of anyone, I am who you need to express your thoughts to.”
“What do you want me to say? What am I supposed to tell you that makes this any better? It was stupid!”
“Tell me why you did it,” he demands. “I mean why you really did it, and not some garbage about how you wanted to save us…” He trails off waiting for me to respond.
I look at him even longer this time, trying to decide if I want to confess something to him I haven’t even said to myself out loud.
“It’s all my fault,” I finally blurt out, maybe a bit too loud.
Samantha shushes me from the darkness.
“Sorry,” I say and steady my voice to quiet myself. “It’s all my fault,” I say again, quieter this time.
“What are you talking about?” he asks, still angry and maybe a bit confused.
“If I could have fought better, maybe we wouldn’t have been taken by The Force,” I begin my rant. “And maybe if we hadn’t been taken, then nothing would have happened, fighting the Methrodine, losing the girls, getting lost in the middle of nowhere to find those girls, all of it,” I finish, but by now I am crying.
“There has to be a reason for it all, Liz,” Jake responds, softer this time. “You would have never met me, Syl…”
“Samantha,” I interrupt with an eye roll.
“Samantha,” he agrees, with a laugh under his breath. “Me,” he finishes a bit more serious.
He grabs me pulling me closer to him.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“I don’t ever want you to do that again,” he says, sternly. “Do not ever put yourself in danger for me or anyone. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, I understand you, but…”
“But nothing Liz, either you keep from putting yourself in harm’s way or…”
“Or what?” I ask, now a little angry myself. “Or you will leave me? Pack up your gun and take off?”
“No,” Jake’s voice trails off again as if he doesn’t want to say what or else means to him.
Our conversation goes as quiet as the night, and again, Jake and I sit staring into nothingness.
Two hours go by in dragging silence. I go to wake Leah up while Jake gets Shawn. They both go to take our place, but as I lay down in their spot, I see Jake walk into the darkness.
I am not going to push it, if he wants to go sulk in the dark I will let him, but I can’t stop being who I am just because some boy I have known for only a few months asks me to.
I begin to wonder if I am being stubborn for no reason. Was this who I was before The Force, or is it the new me since abduction? If this is the new me, then it should be easy for me to change back, but personalities change with every emotional scar laying on our hearts. There are so many of those on mine. I couldn’t imagine going back to the old me and the old way of living. Sure, I miss my mom and Lydia, but I don’t miss feeling like everything I did was for The Elected instead of against it.
As I drift off to sleep, all I can think about is how maybe I am who I am and there is no changing that, and if Jake can’t accept me for me, then maybe…
A rustling sound wakes me up. I’m not sure how long I have been asleep, but the sun is peeking over the horizon causing an odd orange-green glow to fall over the woods. I am still laying alone, and that worries me. I raise up, looking in the direction of the sound. From my left I can see Jake walking up to me with his finger to his lip.
I glance over to see Magi and Samantha guarding in the spot Leah and Shawn had once been. On my other side, I can see our group, including the strange man, is still asleep.
Reluctantly, I get up and follow Jake into the woods, looking at Magi and Samantha to make sure they realize what is happening. Several minutes in, Jake steps behind me cupping his hands over my eyes. Instinct tells me this is a sign of danger, but my heart tells me this is Jake, the man I love.
I walk, blinded even deeper into the trees, for another ten minutes it feels…Maybe more.
“Quiet,” he whispers into my ear.
Several minutes later, we stop, and I can no longer hear the breathing and sleeping noises coming from the rest of our group.
“Open your eyes,” he whispers.
I open my eyes to the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The sight before my eyes is a small reminder that there is still beauty and peace in the world. A small brook and cliff are displayed before me. There are fish in the brook which catch my attention. Jake points up onto
